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EXTRA JUICE: "We have an active sex life, so I'm not sure why he needs to look at porn..." #79

Hold My Drink

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[0.0s – 3.9s]

Hold my drink, extra juice with Charlene and Ellie.

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[3.9s – 8.1s]

A go-loud original podcast, proudly sponsored by pennies.

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[8.1s – 12.0s]

Get this season's must-haves in a store near you.

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[21.4s – 25.0s]

Welcome to our drink, extra juice, which is kindly sponsored by Prime Marker pennies,

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[25.0s – 27.5s]

the ultimate housey destination for all of your needs.

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[27.7s – 31.5s]

Now that Autumn has arrived, it's the perfect time to reset and refresh your wardrobe,

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[31.5s – 34.3s]

whether you're back to school or college, start a new job or just look into

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add some key pieces to your autumn winter wardrobe.

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[36.8s – 40.6s]

I'm actually wearing a pink, the viral pink my rack jump for today.

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I love this, it looks so soft.

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I was wearing this every day if I could, it looks lovely.

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It's come another colors, come to grey, I have to grey as well, and a brown,

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my pink, gorgeous, yeah, really nice.

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I need to do an elsebinder this week, you do, you need the autumn winter bits.

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I was going through my wardrobe, actually, and I was just like, it's time to restock.

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Yeah, I feel like that as well.

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I keep looking, I'm like, I have nothing to wear.

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Somebody clouds, but like, you're off summer.

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I can't wear something, yeah.

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Oh, I have so much clothes, I have no outfits, and that's a real thing.

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Yeah, that fits into like the girl, math problem.

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It does, it makes sense.

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No, the clothes, not an outfit, are stringed together.

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Whatever the occasion, loud and small, they really do have it all

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from denim to classic trench coats, trending maxi skirts to flattering jumpsuits,

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Prime Marker's new hero pieces will have your art and style covered.

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[82.9s – 87.3s]

Head to your local store or log on to www.primerck.com slash i.e.

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to check out all their art and pieces and see what is in your local store with their new stock find.

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This is their brown set of sale where we get to answer even more your dilemmas,

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and also we love hearing your updates.

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Yeah, we send us an update like if something's progressed,

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if you've done something that we said for you to do, if you've done the wrong thing.

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If we're, it's because sometimes we write a new thing, whatever.

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We, we sometimes we often say like, or we need more context in this.

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We generally sometimes want something more like

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fill us in a bit more. So if you want to do that either, if we're asking for

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yeah, more yeah, just like even if you didn't take our advice, if fine.

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We're not always right. Yeah, no, god no, probably not at all.

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No, but um yes, send them into our email address and your dilemmas go there as well.

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So tell my drink at goleandau.com. This is the only way we take into

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them as for the segment, not true DMs, etc. always anonymous as well.

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So we also post clips onto our Instagram. So tell my drink pod on Instagram and on our TikToks.

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I can give your figurines an advice in the comments. We actually put one up.

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I put one off my TikTok a couple days ago about liking pictures.

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And there was only men obviously men coming.

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But being like, well, if you post a bikini picture yourself, then your boyfriend is allowed to

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like other girls bikini pictures. I was like, that's not man.

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No, we're just to say because you posted it.

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But it's double sent. How?

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No, it's not. Because you're not doing it to get mail validation.

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Yeah, but they're waiting for men to like it, but they're making an excuse to say,

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right, if you're posting it, I can like someone else's.

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Just like mine.

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Like that's such a small energy.

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But yeah, you can pop in your emote or your feelings and thoughts in the comments and have

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little people have. Have little like argument.

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I don't need to and I'll take talk like with the anonymous announced.

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I am haunts. Okay, it's my God.

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My brain is frazzled.

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These are our dilemmas for today. So we'll get right in.

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Hi, girls. A bit of a long one. I'm on the go. I started studying in my dream course in

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university. I'm 21. I had to go the long route to earn this place at the drop test school at 16

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for mental health reasons. I sat a PLT course, which I loved and assumed I would feel the same

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about college. I even took a gap here to work and get experience in the industry, which I also

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loved. I'm four weeks in and dread going in every morning. I found it very hard to make friends

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as most of the girls are after coming straight from leave and search. Days are the only and the

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workload is very hard. I'm struggling to manage my money too. As I only work one day now in comparison

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to my usual five, the vibes remind me of skill with some lectures, treating like children and

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girls being in clicky friend groups from day one. This caused me a lot of anxiety to the point

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where I'm feeling sick on the way to college and today I had my first panic attack in two years.

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I spoke to my parents and they said they'd rather see me happy than then say I'm in right now,

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but it feels so defeated. Like all my hard work is for nothing. I didn't try hard enough or I

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shall try to stick it out. I really would like to work in this industry and there are other ways

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around to put in reality. I'm simply not happy and spend 90% of my days in there so far,

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wishing I was anywhere else in the whole world. Any advice you have would really be

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appreciated. Love, listen to your girls on the pot. I think if you're sitting there wishing

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you were somewhere else, you're never going to fully focus on the work that you need to do.

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No, you're not going to have to pull yourself out of it. No, true. Like would you rather sit in

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somewhere be so unhappy? Yeah. Or would you rather maybe go a longer route to where you want to be

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or maybe a more difficult route but be happy? Yeah, generally. Yeah. It's a long time. It's not

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happy for you. If you're like, there's only four weeks in. I felt like this at like year three of my

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course, but I was like, I only have one near left. I had three years behind you. Yeah, it was easier

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to have that in my head, but if you know you've three years ahead of you, that's a more charity.

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Battle like I'd say leave. Yeah. Not in the worst your mental health for that many years.

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No. If you hate a course and it was a year long or a few months long and you really hate it

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or whatever, I'd like to stick it out. You pay the money, like put a lot of time.

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Yeah, no. I hate college. Yeah. I only lasted three months. I went to college to wear my own

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clothes. I don't remember one thing. But you know, like not one thing, but that was because I was

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so unhappy in there. I hate it. Yeah. I think I wanted to go to feel the college experience and then

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when I was there, I was like, what are you doing here? Like, yeah, I just don't. It wasn't for me at all.

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No, I think yeah. Like Charlie said, like if you're if you've three years ahead of you and you're

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only four weeks in and the fact your parents are supporting it as well saying they'd rather see

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you happy at the end of the day. You're happy in his counts for so much more than having what a

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degree in a piece of paper. Well, I that's coming from me who dropped out, but I don't know. Some people might

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some people might prefer to have a degree and be unhappy. Yeah. I think again, if it had

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short time left, I'd say stick it out. Yeah. Hand sticks up over three or four years. You go

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or you're dead. But like maybe I wonder could you could you change anything? Yeah. First before

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leaving. Try a different way. Different course even. I know you're setting this, but like you can

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probably get into your job either way. Afterwards, why haven't I had a degree in anything? Can you do it?

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Yeah. Yeah. You can like you can see it because my friend, a lot of my work didn't, who don't

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like a certain degree, don't work in that, that like character anymore. Like it's just a lot of jobs

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you need a degree for what doesn't specify which. Okay. So maybe like she could change in course.

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Yeah. It's a little similar. But like also don't like put forces out through something just because

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it took you long to get there. Like obviously you don't the P.S.C. you thought you'd love it.

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You worked in the fields how you'd love it, but then if college isn't what you think it's going to be,

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then just don't force yourself into something because you feel like it outwards yourself. Do you know what I mean?

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You can get to where you want to be different ways. Yeah. It's annoying that you said like I'd be

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like I'd be real stubborn like that's how I look. I have to say now after the P.S.C.C.C.R.

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or after a drop in it's going to get I think like that, but like it you'll actually damage yourself so much

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place. Yeah. You can through that. I think if you hate it that much already, maybe I think give yourself

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another one to me. I'll tell her. Give it to Christmas. Yeah. And if you still hate it as much

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by then, leave. Yeah. Don't go back. But I wouldn't don't go straight away after four weeks. I know

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you feel really horrible now, but like it's also that feeling and something new again. Like there's

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always I always get down to the face. The emoji is like no. When you used to do it. Yeah, like that. I

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used to get a feeling my belly like when he started something like college. Yeah. It's just like a

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not real uneasy or something like I think it's so known about. Yeah. But yeah, you might get

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into routine. You might like start liking it. Like they could change one day. Yeah. So I think

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give it to I wouldn't say keep going and hope a change is one day. Give yourself an end day. Say

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Christmas time. If I still hate it, I'm going to leave and put myself first because there's always

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different path. And maybe that's just enough for you without me. Because you're going in somewhere

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every day with sick belly. Yeah. If you're going in already now and that you hate it, you're

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just going to keep it. Yeah. Not until a change about it. Don't make permanent decisions on

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temporary. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like sure. So I'd wait for Christmas and then maybe see

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how you feel, but I'll always put yourself first and try and brace it a little bit until Christmas.

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Because when you have in your head that short term, you might start liking it and then you might

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say, I'll just say to the store. I'll just say to like I think when you look at some of like

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as four years of wanting it. That's scary. Yeah. So it might, um,

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yeah, might make you feel better doing it a little bit. Yeah. I'll call you.

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Is it so quick? So how do you finish in like May?

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A college year is an actual year.

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No, there's something, isn't it?

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No, less.

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You start in end of September and you finish in like May.

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So that's like six, one, eight months.

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Is it seven?

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Yeah.

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And you get so many breaks as that.

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True.

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The next one we have then is,

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how shall I lean in Ellie?

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I love the part and I listen religiously every single week.

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But I never thought I would have to write into you.

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Oh.

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I've been with my boyfriend for over 10 years.

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I love him to bits and can't imagine my life without him.

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We've been living together for nearly a year

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and it's been going amazing.

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We just so well together,

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nothing changed after moving in.

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And before you say it,

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I know I shouldn't have done this,

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but I physically could not stop myself.

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His laptop was out and I could see all his Google searches.

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I just glanced at it and could see all porn searches

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from the night before.

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Now it wasn't porn sites.

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He was searching for it.

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It was specific girls like blank, blank, blank porn.

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And there was a few different girls names.

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I don't even know who they were.

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I probably fame was porn stars are only fans.

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I didn't even want to look it up.

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I looked at the date he searched for them.

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Oh, I looked at the date.

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He searched for them on a night when I stayed at home.

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So I guess he was just having a pleasure to himself.

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We have an active sex life.

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So I'm not sure why he needs to look up porn.

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Should I be jealous or annoyed?

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Should I say something to him or just let it go?

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This is an example of just don't go through your boyfriend's

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for owner laptops.

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I don't know why I did it to myself.

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What do you girls think about this?

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What would you do if I happened to you?

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Would appreciate any advice you have.

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Sorry for the long message.

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Thanks.

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He was talks about like porn before.

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Yeah.

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I don't I don't I don't see it bad.

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Really?

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I think the owner have never been this single in my life.

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So I don't know.

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Yeah.

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Like if it was to the point of where like he's putting porn

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before a hell of sex.

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Yeah.

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Healthy sex life with your parent.

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Or that's a bit where.

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Yeah.

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Kind of thing.

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Yeah.

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I don't know.

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Like can you physically tell someone don't you can?

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But I'm not going to want to do it more.

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Yeah.

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If you don't have a line.

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When I'm gone.

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Yeah.

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They're like, OK, all I can hear is when Gwen.

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Yeah.

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I'm going to want to.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Like you're in relationship.

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So what?

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So what would you do?

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This is you and John.

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Oh, let's say.

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And he was specifically looking up.

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So and so probably you're a bit upset like with this.

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If it was like he looked up porn websites of like,

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all right, I'm grand, like, but it's specific girls.

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I think that will piss me off.

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Famous girls.

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Especially if they look not like me.

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If they were like black hair, like completely opposite.

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Yeah.

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I'm like, like, I don't know.

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It hurts.

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I'd be like, it's not obviously.

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I wouldn't break up with them all over.

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Obviously.

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Like do you see it?

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Do you see it?

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No.

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No.

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No.

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Yeah.

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A couple of years ago, like I'd be horrified of either that lab.

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Like at the end of the day, like it's very realistic.

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Mm.

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Most people watch porn.

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I think it depends on how secure you feel in your relationship as well.

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And I'll go pale.

▶ Play
[727.2s – 729.2s]

Like, I don't do long distance.

▶ Play
[729.2s – 730.2s]

Like, I'm, yeah.

▶ Play
[730.2s – 732.6s]

I'm pretty sure you probably watch this one.

▶ Play
[732.6s – 733.6s]

Pretty sure.

▶ Play
[733.6s – 734.6s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[734.6s – 735.6s]

Or my news.

▶ Play
[735.6s – 736.6s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[736.6s – 737.6s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[737.6s – 739.2s]

That's what you want me to go and say.

▶ Play
[739.2s – 740.2s]

I don't think.

▶ Play
[740.2s – 746.8s]

Like, like, to me, porn is like, like all those porn sites and famous porn.

▶ Play
[746.8s – 748.6s]

So I was like, it's not real.

▶ Play
[748.6s – 750.4s]

It's, it's untouchable kind of thing.

▶ Play
[750.4s – 751.4s]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

▶ Play
[751.4s – 754.1s]

Like it's never like he's going to be struggling on the road and see this famous

▶ Play
[754.1s – 755.1s]

porn show and kind of.

▶ Play
[755.1s – 756.1s]

True.

▶ Play
[756.1s – 757.1s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[757.1s – 763.5s]

So in my, I can see it from a place of like, right, I feel slightly.

▶ Play
[763.5s – 764.5s]

It's a move is not real.

▶ Play
[764.5s – 766.7s]

Like what's your film?

▶ Play
[766.7s – 770.2s]

I can see where it would make you feel a little bit less confident kind of thing.

▶ Play
[770.2s – 771.2s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[771.2s – 774.5s]

But then also like, yeah, actually, we're really not actually.

▶ Play
[774.5s – 779.8s]

If I don't know if he needs a little one, maybe I don't know.

▶ Play
[779.8s – 780.8s]

Like how does it work?

▶ Play
[780.8s – 782.8s]

Is he meant to hold off?

▶ Play
[782.8s – 783.8s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[783.8s – 784.8s]

I don't know.

▶ Play
[784.8s – 786.2s]

It's a weird area.

▶ Play
[786.2s – 787.2s]

It's a gray area.

▶ Play
[787.2s – 788.2s]

Right.

▶ Play
[788.2s – 791.2s]

I think it's something people are very mixed opinions on.

▶ Play
[791.2s – 792.2s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[792.2s – 795.7s]

I think no matter what, what you think about it, I think if you've seen it, what your

▶ Play
[795.7s – 799.4s]

own two eyes, your boyfriend's hurt and that like on his left half, you do for

▶ Play
[799.4s – 800.4s]

the stuff.

▶ Play
[800.4s – 802.8s]

It's kind of one of the things that you don't really want to think about when I come

▶ Play
[802.8s – 803.8s]

to share it.

▶ Play
[803.8s – 806.2s]

Like it's, I'm sure a partner's not really talk about it.

▶ Play
[806.2s – 807.2s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[807.2s – 811.2s]

But like what in you, if you're seeing it, if you're like, hmm, girl.

▶ Play
[811.2s – 812.2s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[812.2s – 813.2s]

I don't know.

▶ Play
[813.2s – 814.2s]

I think it's a gray area.

▶ Play
[814.2s – 815.2s]

Would you say it to the person?

▶ Play
[815.2s – 816.2s]

I would say it to the center.

▶ Play
[816.2s – 820.2s]

But then again, he'd be knowing that it looked on his left.

▶ Play
[820.2s – 821.2s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[821.2s – 822.2s]

No.

▶ Play
[822.2s – 823.2s]

I don't know.

▶ Play
[823.2s – 829.2s]

I don't know if I'd say it like, I think it would.

▶ Play
[829.2s – 831.4s]

I don't think I could stop myself.

▶ Play
[831.4s – 833.4s]

I'm mature when I'm not that mature.

▶ Play
[833.4s – 834.4s]

I don't know.

▶ Play
[834.4s – 838.2s]

I don't think I've never, like I've never ever been in this situation or I've never

▶ Play
[838.2s – 842.4s]

ever talked about like porn to like fellows.

▶ Play
[842.4s – 845.0s]

I think I think don't take it personally.

▶ Play
[845.0s – 846.0s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[846.0s – 849.0s]

And I think it's like, it's so different if your boyfriend's like sign up to

▶ Play
[849.0s – 850.0s]

our own fans and stuff.

▶ Play
[850.0s – 851.0s]

I think that's so different.

▶ Play
[851.0s – 853.0s]

It is flattier on them and it's getting notifications.

▶ Play
[853.0s – 854.0s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[854.0s – 855.0s]

I'd be like, hold on.

▶ Play
[855.0s – 858.2s]

I think once it's, if it's started affecting your sex life.

▶ Play
[858.2s – 859.2s]

Yes.

▶ Play
[859.2s – 860.2s]

Then it's different.

▶ Play
[860.2s – 861.2s]

Then I'd start being at, yeah.

▶ Play
[861.2s – 866.2s]

But I was listening to a podcast actually and they just have my porn stuff and like men,

▶ Play
[866.2s – 868.8s]

especially like, start watching porn very young.

▶ Play
[868.8s – 871.0s]

So it's nearly like a habit for them.

▶ Play
[871.0s – 873.8s]

So like it's probably, he's probably watching that since before we met you and it's just

▶ Play
[873.8s – 874.8s]

like what you do.

▶ Play
[874.8s – 875.8s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[875.8s – 877.6s]

It's not like he doesn't have anything in front of people.

▶ Play
[877.6s – 878.6s]

It's just, I haven't.

▶ Play
[878.6s – 879.6s]

So you set this up?

▶ Play
[879.6s – 880.6s]

Like in a movie.

▶ Play
[880.6s – 882.6s]

Yes, it's a very young like.

▶ Play
[882.6s – 883.6s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[883.6s – 884.6s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[884.6s – 887.8s]

I wouldn't say it.

▶ Play
[888.8s – 891.8s]

Unless I started affecting my life.

▶ Play
[891.8s – 895.0s]

I think I'm going to give it if you felt shit about English at the end.

▶ Play
[895.0s – 896.0s]

It's like, listen, I saw it.

▶ Play
[896.0s – 898.8s]

I'm like, well, just like I saw that.

▶ Play
[898.8s – 899.8s]

I don't feel great.

▶ Play
[899.8s – 902.1s]

Listen, I know it's going to be a thing.

▶ Play
[902.1s – 903.1s]

I'm not telling you enough.

▶ Play
[903.1s – 904.1s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[904.1s – 907.1s]

I don't even laugh top open around.

▶ Play
[907.1s – 908.1s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[908.1s – 909.1s]

That's like him.

▶ Play
[909.1s – 910.1s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[910.1s – 911.1s]

Play with him.

▶ Play
[911.1s – 912.1s]

Believe it.

▶ Play
[912.1s – 914.9s]

I just feel like I don't like, like obviously I shouldn't know when to do laughs.

▶ Play
[915.6s – 918.5s]

I've seen your searches and it's just like, if I can feel it, but you if it has my

▶ Play
[918.5s – 920.0s]

deep future, the villa has.

▶ Play
[920.0s – 921.5s]

It's butter enough to hurt right in.

▶ Play
[921.5s – 922.5s]

True.

▶ Play
[922.5s – 927.0s]

And I understand that because it's like, because you always want to think that your

▶ Play
[927.0s – 929.8s]

partner is you're the only person for you.

▶ Play
[929.8s – 931.5s]

Every evening is good looking.

▶ Play
[931.5s – 932.5s]

That everyone else is ugly.

▶ Play
[932.5s – 933.5s]

No, that's not real.

▶ Play
[933.5s – 935.5s]

No, that's not realistic.

▶ Play
[935.5s – 936.5s]

No.

▶ Play
[936.5s – 937.5s]

Unfortunately.

▶ Play
[937.5s – 940.5s]

Yeah, I think I think if it's upsetting, it's on your mind.

▶ Play
[940.5s – 943.5s]

Say it, you'll be prepared for him to be like, why are you on my top bad?

▶ Play
[943.5s – 946.7s]

I feel like I probably retaliate because it'll be like embarrassed.

▶ Play
[946.7s – 947.7s]

Nearly.

▶ Play
[947.7s – 951.6s]

Oh, yeah, should you say it like no, I would not.

▶ Play
[951.6s – 954.4s]

He's gone and he's gone and reality reality.

▶ Play
[954.4s – 959.0s]

Resalient party because he's embarrassed because like, it's very personal.

▶ Play
[959.0s – 961.6s]

I feel like, I think it's up to you.

▶ Play
[961.6s – 964.2s]

Whatever, whatever would make you feel best.

▶ Play
[964.2s – 966.9s]

Don't bot Latin in like if you feel like it is something that's going to be played on

▶ Play
[966.9s – 967.9s]

your mind too.

▶ Play
[967.9s – 968.9s]

Say it to him.

▶ Play
[968.9s – 971.2s]

Yeah, you should be able to say it to him.

▶ Play
[971.2s – 976.9s]

Yeah, but I also wouldn't take it to personally personally.

▶ Play
[976.9s – 978.9s]

Like it's just.

▶ Play
[978.9s – 981.1s]

Yeah, yeah.

▶ Play
[981.1s – 983.0s]

I think you needed us to tell you that.

▶ Play
[983.0s – 984.0s]

Yeah, just to really show you.

▶ Play
[984.0s – 985.6s]

I need someone to be like, yeah, yeah.

▶ Play
[985.6s – 988.8s]

Yeah, because you only get yourself to work so if you just need someone to be like,

▶ Play
[988.8s – 989.8s]

all right.

▶ Play
[989.8s – 992.8s]

Yeah, but I think definitely don't.

▶ Play
[992.8s – 994.2s]

I think you should say as well.

▶ Play
[994.2s – 997.6s]

Yeah, tell him how you feel, but tell him you're not telling them enough to look at

▶ Play
[997.6s – 1002.6s]

that or like, you understand how like, like, not, yeah, normal.

▶ Play
[1002.6s – 1006.3s]

Like, yeah, it's not something else in this world like that you're after catching them

▶ Play
[1006.3s – 1007.3s]

do.

▶ Play
[1007.3s – 1009.6s]

You just want to let them know how it made you feel seeing that.

▶ Play
[1009.6s – 1010.6s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[1010.6s – 1013.5s]

And like, you're going to be like, I was a few to feel jealous of you.

▶ Play
[1013.5s – 1016.7s]

I know it because different people feel somebody wouldn't batting.

▶ Play
[1016.7s – 1017.7s]

I know.

▶ Play
[1017.7s – 1018.7s]

But like, yeah, yeah.

▶ Play
[1018.7s – 1021.3s]

Grant was something we would be like, what the fuck?

▶ Play
[1021.3s – 1022.3s]

Yeah.

▶ Play
[1022.3s – 1026.0s]

Next one is love to podcast and listen every one day and Wednesday while I'm talking.

▶ Play
[1026.0s – 1027.0s]

Oh my god.

▶ Play
[1027.0s – 1028.6s]

Oh, after a bit of one.

▶ Play
[1028.6s – 1031.0s]

Sorry, if I wanted to go, my boyfriend broke up with me.

▶ Play
[1031.0s – 1035.0s]

I felt totally blindsided and never seen a woman as everything was normal and we spent

▶ Play
[1035.0s – 1036.5s]

a week away together.

▶ Play
[1036.5s – 1039.8s]

We went out after the break up to speak and give our clothes back and I said, I would

▶ Play
[1039.8s – 1042.6s]

like, try and give things another girl and he disagreed.

▶ Play
[1042.6s – 1046.0s]

I'm a type person to try until I can't anymore and I don't give up on people easily.

▶ Play
[1046.0s – 1049.2s]

When I see him, it just wasn't the same person I've been with for the last two years and

▶ Play
[1049.2s – 1052.5s]

I'm worried about how he made decisions down to his mental health and short now his friends

▶ Play
[1052.5s – 1056.9s]

as well as me because I was so, because it was so out of the blue as we were very

▶ Play
[1056.9s – 1058.9s]

happy couple and never argued.

▶ Play
[1058.9s – 1062.7s]

We're both very young and in the early 20s but I genuinely do see a future with him.

▶ Play
[1062.7s – 1066.5s]

I feel like I'm a little bit in a row and I just need all the advice I can get from him.

▶ Play
[1066.5s – 1067.5s]

So, love you.

▶ Play
[1067.5s – 1068.5s]

Oh.

▶ Play
[1068.5s – 1070.7s]

That's really hard.

▶ Play
[1070.7s – 1073.8s]

I mean, you're just completely blindsided like that.

▶ Play
[1073.8s – 1077.8s]

I feel like normally when you see a break up coming like things lead up to it, yeah, or

▶ Play
[1077.8s – 1080.0s]

like things happen or like it's a...

▶ Play
[1080.0s – 1085.2s]

beautiful things that would lead to that and you're not shocked like yeah it's not yeah it's normally not a shock

▶ Play
[1085.2s – 1087.4s]

I don't know if I've ever been blindsided before

▶ Play
[1089.0s – 1091.8s]

but I was too annoying but I was new going

▶ Play
[1094.2s – 1098.7s]

um it's really hard to have when you're looking at someone breaking up to it and you're like

▶ Play
[1098.7s – 1102.6s]

you meet up with them a few weeks and once I turn you're like you're looking at them and like

▶ Play
[1102.6s – 1107.8s]

they're the same face they're the same they're just not bloody it's not them it's the scariest thing

▶ Play
[1107.8s – 1112.5s]

I remember like something just took over yeah it's like that's something like that was your

▶ Play
[1112.5s – 1116.6s]

person that was like so many trusts and you don't even recognize them even though they're the same

▶ Play
[1117.3s – 1122.2s]

yeah human being it's not them as much as I try and like always

▶ Play
[1124.4s – 1128.4s]

see the good and everyone and like keep things in your life the way they are

▶ Play
[1129.1s – 1133.3s]

sometimes shit like this has meant to happen yeah I know I can realise a few years after

▶ Play
[1133.3s – 1138.8s]

yeah like there's a plan for you yeah and I know you've been completely blindsided and taken like

▶ Play
[1139.7s – 1144.8s]

completely off-guided now but like sometimes you just can't change things as much as you want to

▶ Play
[1147.0s – 1152.2s]

but like you you force and to keep him around and not force and to keep him around but you know

▶ Play
[1152.2s – 1157.0s]

what I mean like trying to keep the relationship going might be the worst thing for you so it might not

▶ Play
[1157.0s – 1163.1s]

actually benefit you at all yeah yeah and also I joined this survivor some broke up man I was like

▶ Play
[1163.3s – 1166.8s]

please please please like trying to get back together like I was so annoying that's actually

▶ Play
[1168.0s – 1173.8s]

very annoying but then I feel like if I hadn't been that annoying we probably would have got yeah

▶ Play
[1173.8s – 1177.9s]

but then he was like oh my god you're actually so annoying yeah like that was like which obviously

▶ Play
[1177.9s – 1183.4s]

was not meant to be anyway yeah fine but like I think that it makes it worse when you try

▶ Play
[1183.4s – 1189.1s]

to force yourself once more yeah then they just like you're because all of all that person needs is

▶ Play
[1189.2s – 1194.2s]

space yeah space to realise that's why they're breaking up in space so if you're not giving them

▶ Play
[1194.2s – 1202.4s]

that space at all they can't even think yeah exactly I think take a day by day yeah I know you feel

▶ Play
[1202.4s – 1208.5s]

so hurt that like you really did see a future with this person but I think in the long run you might

▶ Play
[1208.5s – 1216.2s]

realise no yeah I feel like a two year mark as I was very telling yeah two two and a half years

▶ Play
[1216.2s – 1220.3s]

is it yeah I've never got past well I have now yeah well I didn't because I've always

▶ Play
[1220.3s – 1225.9s]

got but like that's kind of it's a good point you go again just yeah I think so sure and then

▶ Play
[1225.9s – 1231.3s]

apparently seven years as another one didn't make it there it made just six oh well then yeah

▶ Play
[1235.1s – 1238.5s]

I think leave on be for the moment you can't I know you're saying I think you're doing a

▶ Play
[1238.5s – 1243.7s]

fermenting help reason or something but like you're like you can't even if that is the case you

▶ Play
[1243.8s – 1249.4s]

can't do that and talk to you that if you have to give him as time make like him have his decision and

▶ Play
[1250.7s – 1255.0s]

move on as if you aren't together and like hopefully in the future something will come up if he's

▶ Play
[1255.0s – 1258.3s]

there meant to be and if he's good to you if he's meant to be your person you will be yeah

▶ Play
[1259.8s – 1265.5s]

but if he's not you're still so young as well yeah I mean you're early 20s and I could might be

▶ Play
[1265.5s – 1269.4s]

where it takes and be like look I feel like you're short and everyone I hope would like if if you

▶ Play
[1269.4s – 1275.5s]

ever knew so I come here whatever like but you just can't make someone's decision for them

▶ Play
[1275.5s – 1280.6s]

so not as unfortunately as much as you want as you want to hear like the ladies I've done all I've

▶ Play
[1280.6s – 1287.8s]

been there but the t-shirts honestly um yeah as hard as it is I think let them

▶ Play
[1290.2s – 1294.8s]

have the break up it's what he needs right now whether it is short now for now reason whether it

▶ Play
[1294.8s – 1304.5s]

is meant to help think it's it's what he wants yeah and yeah you're like sure this is the worst

▶ Play
[1304.5s – 1310.4s]

part the worst part is the shock the blindside and this yeah and then it was the day goes days go

▶ Play
[1310.4s – 1313.4s]

on like that's easier yeah you wake up and you're like oh my god I haven't talked about that

▶ Play
[1313.4s – 1318.2s]

wasn't the first thing we came to our bed yeah it's weird that's a way of you're like wow yeah

▶ Play
[1318.2s – 1325.0s]

this is this can be a good sunny day it's crisp yeah oh a crisp winter day yeah it's gonna go

▶ Play
[1325.0s – 1332.1s]

break up if it's very winter thing I think today's uh well summer is uh oh yeah big time

▶ Play
[1332.1s – 1338.6s]

how close am I um you'll be okay yeah and let's know any updates but I feel like if he is

▶ Play
[1338.6s – 1342.5s]

sure now over now where I feel like he called come back a few weeks we like what's the focus

▶ Play
[1342.5s – 1346.7s]

I do yeah maybe just things maybe his brain's just fried maybe he's just having one and things

▶ Play
[1346.7s – 1351.0s]

where you try on a house always at the pan including you including his friends yep he just needs a

▶ Play
[1351.0s – 1357.2s]

whole over half life but let us know hey gone and yeah if he doesn't come back then he was never

▶ Play
[1357.2s – 1363.6s]

meant for you meant to be and you're too good for the last one we have then is high birds love you

▶ Play
[1363.6s – 1368.0s]

so much look forward to listening every week so I've been with my boyfriend for a year now but on

▶ Play
[1368.0s – 1372.9s]

enough but on and off for a few years before this as we've always found our way back to each other

▶ Play
[1372.9s – 1376.4s]

and can't seem to leave each other alone I genuinely think he's the love of my life and he always

▶ Play
[1376.4s – 1381.2s]

says he wants to marry me and could never see himself with anyone else over the past few months

▶ Play
[1381.2s – 1385.5s]

he's been spending almost every single weekend drinking and taking a two fire every time after

▶ Play
[1385.5s – 1390.8s]

multiple nights so I've seen that he had been texting other girls and even made a Tinder account on

▶ Play
[1390.8s – 1395.1s]

one occasion when I brought it up he said he was just wrong I didn't know that he had done it and

▶ Play
[1395.1s – 1399.2s]

I forgave him on these occasions he promises it will never happen again and he's off the drink as

▶ Play
[1399.2s – 1403.4s]

he can't rest lose in our relationship and then he goes out the next week and does it again and

▶ Play
[1403.4s – 1407.8s]

even if it doesn't do it and even if he doesn't do anything wrong I feel so much anxiety that it

▶ Play
[1407.8s – 1413.6s]

will happen again and left wondering why I'm not good enough for him and only to only want me I want

▶ Play
[1413.6s – 1418.7s]

to believe I want to believe he will change but it feels like a never ending cycle at this stage he

▶ Play
[1418.7s – 1423.1s]

says he never wants to lose me but feels like at this stage he puts every he puts our relationship on

▶ Play
[1423.1s – 1429.1s]

on the line almost every week any advice would help do you think he would be capable of change or

▶ Play
[1429.1s – 1433.6s]

might be in life I know people talk and I'm scared I look like the biggest fill for forgiving him each time

▶ Play
[1437.6s – 1447.5s]

no I don't like this man no no see how do you strongly make a Tinder I can't drunkenly text someone

▶ Play
[1447.5s – 1454.7s]

and I can't even get to eat every one I open like that how do you do that I think people mistake

▶ Play
[1454.7s – 1459.7s]

love with being that feeling of like young people you know couples that like can't leave should

▶ Play
[1459.7s – 1464.2s]

her own they're like so toxic oh yeah like they shouldn't be together but they can't they're like oh

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[1464.2s – 1469.0s]

we can't leave like we just keep coming out each other because it's toxic yeah yeah because it's so

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you miss the toxic side because you're like a drug to each other like that doesn't mean

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I know I always say like people are in to be like like bad bad like but that's not the same as

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someone we meant to be yeah as you've been pulled back into each other because someone's like text

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in each other again it's scary it's but you keep going back to each other because you're you that's

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what you're you know keep going back to each other because you're letting each other go back to each other

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yeah and there are ways of not letting that happen yet that's comfort when you know someone is like

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it's easier yeah it's so easy trust me yeah to just go back but yeah it's not always the best idea

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think that's your own I don't know what I'm making a tender that would be my final straw like

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how's that even happening that isn't right now what you want and then you say I won't drink and

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then you just drink again someone can promise you the sun moon and stars you're on the weekend and

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then a lot of boys down to what they do on the weekend why is it not drinking every weekend why can't

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you bring it on a date no yeah this sounds like a very young relationship to me really yeah very very

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this sounds very young definitely I think your question yourself your question yourself and why

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you're not good enough for him you've anxiety every weekend like that's not worth it that's not a nice

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that's our ratio that's not low no and don't think that it is just because you have these strong

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feelings towards sometimes you get them feelings mistaken for love what's not it's just the addiction tip

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to literally like a drug it's a yeah it's not your hormones literally be addicted to that first and like

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and the ups and the downs and like you might even realize we actually are addicted to the

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downs because you look too so high they're waiting on the on the high and the high because you come

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back and say I love it so much I really like I think the amount of times that you've forgiven him

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is showing him that you're alone in that behavior yeah and I've been there I've done it like

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the more times you forgive someone for for bad things

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they're not they're not saying in their head like oh she's a good person like she's taking me

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back they're saying she's a fool what can I do now what next yeah how much more can I get away with

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how before I can I push the ground yeah yeah because I pushed this much and she's taking me back

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so each time they're gonna chip off a little bit more yeah to get further and further and further

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yeah until one day you'll just crack yeah you'll explode and it'll be something big big yeah big and

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bad yeah yeah I think

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I think setting a set of a bound like if you'd have set that boundary and we've all done it where we haven't like you're especially the service relationship.

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Yeah, you want to believe that the person is so good and like oh they've never do that to me.

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Yada yada like boom yeah I think at the very start of it.

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I think it's what I need to learn as well going forward and things like setting the tone.

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Setting the tone for what you want.

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What you're going to accept a boundary like yeah what you don't want.

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Yeah yeah.

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Whereas when you don't do that at the start it leads into like a good lead into shit like this.

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Yeah.

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And he probably knows he has you there because he keeps going back.

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He knows I for a right.

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He can just say I just didn't I don't remember right now Tinder what's going to be next I don't remember Kissing a

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Girl don't remember having sex for yeah.

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Don't remember impregnating her if that's how remember you marry her.

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Yeah.

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Honestly it could lead on to so much more.

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I don't I love to say I do think he's capable change what I don't think he is if he's promised you

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some of his times already and hasn't what's going to make him actually switch and change.

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There's not going to be a point to that if that makes sense like words are just so easy to say.

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I could say anything.

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Oh it's so easy to say.

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Yeah.

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He's telling like and that's just you being a good person think and that all but he could change.

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Yeah he could he could also go to the moon but yeah realistic as that yeah and if he could have

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he should already already would have yeah but he doesn't want to obviously or can't do like that

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how he is I feel like we sound really harsh in this but what's real we're being in through

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yeah sometimes that's what you need yeah easy yeah I crash truth I think I think you're being naive

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to the situation yeah I think let them know exactly what you've said to us let them know like

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this is how I'm feeling I'm literally on your baby feels shit my last yeah my last thread with you

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walking is it you're walking until I start I'm walking until I'm walking until I he's like

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can't keep doing this like make it make it known to him how many times you have forgiven him

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and how many times you have taken him back because he's probably just thinking

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that they're probably not even relevant in his head so make make that known to him let them know like

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that it's your last your last shot yeah can't keep down this not quite for you want to look back and

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be like I wasted all those years yeah and even be like why should I take you back again like what

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you've never changed once before why would I believe in this time to avoid crowd wolf yeah yeah

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because they say oh but this time is different but why yeah but why how why how are you ever going

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to prove that to me yeah yeah well let us know yes but I think you I think you know that you're

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better than this situation yeah already so you can send us a lot of us into homo drink or go

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load now calm new episodes homo drink extra juice come out every Monday and I may not

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told everyone Wednesday thanks to primer response in this episode make sure to like,

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rate, subscribe and we'll see how Wednesday we love you love you bye

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hold my drink extra juice with charlie and Ellie a go-laid original podcast proudly sponsored by

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[1815.8s – 1821.7s]

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[1821.7s – 1826.5s]

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