EXTRA JUICE: "I don't have someone that thinks of me as their first choice..." #51 — Hold My Drink

[00:00–00:04] Hold my drink, extra juice with Charlene and Ellie.
[00:04–00:08] A go-laid original podcast, proudly sponsored by pennies.
[00:08–00:12] Get this season's must-haves in a store near you.
[00:21–00:25] Welcome to Home My Drink, extra juice, which is Kanye's fan's row primary for pennies.
[00:25–00:28] The ultimate hostie destination that's everything you need this spring.
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[00:35–00:38] Spring is here, it's time to go big on your wardrobe.
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[00:40–00:42] The range is characteristically cool,
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[00:43–00:46] a learn floral as well as have a utility inspired khaki co-ords.
[00:46–00:49] Give me a touch of edge for stand-outs through some moments.
[00:49–00:51] I got lovely, um...
[00:51–00:52] Which is called the Play Suit?
[00:52–00:53] Uni Tards?
[00:53–00:54] Oh no!
[00:54–00:55] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:55–00:57] Rumper, rumper, yeah.
[00:57–00:58] Yeah, I got lovely, um...
[00:58–01:01] Like, pastel-y kind of thing in there.
[01:01–01:02] So I'm gonna wear that for...
[01:02–01:03] Got ready for the live show?
[01:03–01:04] Oh, cool, I see.
[01:04–01:05] Yeah, I really want to pink.
[01:05–01:06] Have to pink.
[01:06–01:09] It's good for, like, unhulled, you just travel on a happy holiday.
[01:09–01:10] It's worn out for you, yeah.
[01:10–01:11] You don't have to think of the top of what, but...
[01:11–01:12] Yeah, this is love.
[01:12–01:13] You just have it on.
[01:13–01:14] All in one.
[01:14–01:16] And it gives for the gym as well, then.
[01:16–01:17] Yeah.
[01:17–01:18] You want to have some room, no?
[01:18–01:19] Yeah.
[01:19–01:22] So you know, you can also check what is in your local store on the Parmaq website
[01:22–01:25] with our new stock finder with Charlie and has tried and tested.
[01:25–01:25] Very good.
[01:25–01:26] Very good.
[01:26–01:29] It's so handy, but sure, we're always popping in and out of pennies anyway,
[01:29–01:33] but if you're not, you can check on the website and see if what you're looking for
[01:33–01:35] is in stock in your store.
[01:35–01:37] It's good as well, if you live, like, between two pennies and you know,
[01:37–01:39] which one, like, I also want to go to.
[01:39–01:41] Yeah, sometimes it doesn't have the one that, like, what you want.
[01:41–01:42] So...
[01:42–01:43] Then you know which one to go to.
[01:43–01:44] Correctly, so handy.
[01:44–01:49] You're logged on to www.parmaq.com for Sasha Yich, check out other spring pieces
[01:49–01:53] and also see what's in stock in your local store with your new stock finder.
[01:53–01:56] This is our brown set episode where we get to answer even more of your telemetry.
[01:56–01:58] Even more.
[01:58–01:59] Even more of our way.
[01:59–02:01] And we love updates.
[02:01–02:02] We...
[02:02–02:03] I get so excited about them.
[02:03–02:04] I was...
[02:04–02:07] I think it's also the unknown as well that we're like,
[02:07–02:08] Ooh, what's it going to be?
[02:08–02:09] Yeah, what's it going to be?
[02:09–02:10] Because we...
[02:10–02:14] We say that we give out the advice and it's not viable.
[02:14–02:15] We just try and help.
[02:15–02:20] So it's always interesting to see if it went that way or if it's a...
[02:20–02:21] Yeah.
[02:21–02:23] Or if people actually still quite advice.
[02:23–02:26] Yeah, it was impressive that if they did because it's hard to actually maybe because of work
[02:26–02:28] and outside perspectives that were more likely to.
[02:28–02:29] Yeah, yeah.
[02:29–02:34] It's always easier to hear it from somebody who's not in your circle.
[02:34–02:35] Yeah, yeah.
[02:35–02:36] So, why is she on the other side of the first one?
[02:36–02:37] Yeah, it's okay.
[02:37–02:39] So we answered the Suleiman episode 60.
[02:39–02:41] That was recent enough.
[02:41–02:42] Um, I know.
[02:42–02:44] Let's go see what we got on 70's.
[02:44–02:45] Let me see what we got on 70's.
[02:45–02:48] My boyfriend and I have been together for one year and I'm just fine.
[02:48–02:52] I'm realizing he might not be for me 100% as he doesn't treat me how I'd like to think
[02:52–02:55] if I ever got into another relationship.
[02:55–02:58] He's really about a plan and stuff and it's always meeting of dates and ideas related.
[02:58–03:00] It's just simple as ringing a table.
[03:00–03:02] Ring into book a table for dinner out.
[03:02–03:05] He asked me to go to dinner last week and he said he was booking up because we discussed
[03:05–03:08] that he is lazy and isn't put in the same energy as I am.
[03:08–03:12] And then he said the day before that he actually forgot to book and this made me so angry
[03:12–03:15] but more upset like why bother asking me to disappoint me.
[03:15–03:18] I have only certain times and days I can see him.
[03:18–03:21] He asked me to spend the night with him a few hours and when we got there I knew something
[03:21–03:24] wasn't the same my feeling so I told him if not the changes will have to make a plan
[03:24–03:29] to break or to take a break to break up or to take a break and he agreed.
[03:29–03:34] Our advice was open table is a thing and it's very easy.
[03:34–03:39] And I'm exactly how you feel and to go on a break and if he cops on the meantime I'll
[03:39–03:42] want to go but if not the reason is not for you.
[03:42–03:44] Here is the update.
[03:44–03:48] So hey girls your advice really opened my eyes as I needed someone else's view.
[03:48–03:52] I waited and saw if there was any changes occurred for like a month and nothing did.
[03:52–03:54] The spark was completely lost to me broke up after Christmas.
[03:54–03:58] I felt so happy with this decision but now slowing down understand what it's like to
[03:58–03:59] be without him.
[03:59–04:04] I want to be by myself and am I healing girl era and focus on myself worth and not set
[04:04–04:08] up for less because I know how lucky any lad should be as I know how much love I can
[04:08–04:10] give somebody and really commit my all to them.
[04:10–04:13] I'm very down where he's nearly seen a new girl now he's given her everything I ever
[04:13–04:17] asked for and that's heartbreaking to see but I just want advice on how to heal and grow
[04:17–04:19] as a person in this situation.
[04:19–04:22] As YouTuber I was so strong and really my inspiration and use their self strong and
[04:22–04:24] swimming and independent.
[04:24–04:27] Thank you so much for helping me to understand my worth and match the energy of somebody
[04:27–04:29] your podcast makes my way.
[04:29–04:30] I love you.
[04:30–04:33] My whole heart.
[04:33–04:39] I think I think seeing him gives someone else what you asked for what you asked for.
[04:39–04:40] Yeah.
[04:40–04:45] I had to learn that the hard way like seeing somebody else get what you begs for.
[04:45–04:48] But that's not reflection on you.
[04:48–04:49] Not even that though.
[04:49–04:51] She's seeing this from the outside.
[04:51–04:52] Yeah.
[04:52–04:55] He could look like he's given everything but he's probably not she probably feels the same
[04:55–04:56] way.
[04:56–04:57] Yeah.
[04:57–04:59] It always looks from the outside like things are great but if they break up in few
[04:59–05:01] months you'd be like oh shit I must never know.
[05:01–05:02] Yeah.
[05:02–05:05] Do you know like someone like that and if they're not right for you then they're not
[05:05–05:06] right for you.
[05:06–05:09] It's also he could be loved by them the life of the new one.
[05:09–05:10] Of course it's the first few months.
[05:10–05:13] I think it's like that when they refresh as well.
[05:13–05:15] Everything was the best at the first year.
[05:15–05:16] Yeah.
[05:16–05:21] I think just trying to block out whatever they're doing is number one like blocking accounts
[05:21–05:27] or wherever you're seeing that information from is a good idea.
[05:27–05:28] I just know that your person is out there.
[05:28–05:32] There's a reason he didn't give you that because he wasn't for you and there's someone
[05:32–05:33] better.
[05:33–05:34] Yeah.
[05:34–05:35] To look for.
[05:35–05:37] Like everything does happen for a reason like that even though shit at the time.
[05:37–05:40] To even try and understand that.
[05:40–05:42] You don't want to understand that.
[05:42–05:43] No, you don't.
[05:43–05:44] No.
[05:44–05:45] No.
[05:45–05:46] But it is a blessing.
[05:46–05:47] It's a blessing in disguise.
[05:47–05:48] Yeah.
[05:48–05:50] I forgot people say blessing in disguise.
[05:50–05:51] No.
[05:51–05:53] We had a conversation last week actually what was it?
[05:53–05:54] Oh.
[05:54–05:55] We even come through.
[05:55–05:56] Yeah.
[05:56–05:57] Blessing in disguise.
[05:57–05:58] No.
[05:58–05:59] No.
[05:59–06:00] Anyway.
[06:00–06:01] Yeah.
[06:01–06:03] It's probably a blessing in disguise that it happened.
[06:03–06:06] I know it doesn't feel like it right now but I promise you you'll look back.
[06:06–06:07] Yeah.
[06:07–06:10] You will look back and that's always a better feeling to be able to look back and be like
[06:10–06:11] well.
[06:11–06:12] Yeah.
[06:12–06:15] I either got over or I took, I knew myself.
[06:15–06:16] Yeah.
[06:16–06:17] Yeah.
[06:17–06:18] So.
[06:18–06:20] And also like if he couldn't, if he's given someone else something but if he couldn't,
[06:20–06:22] it's more importantly what he could give to you.
[06:22–06:23] Hmm.
[06:23–06:24] If he couldn't give you that then.
[06:24–06:25] Fuck him and fuck them.
[06:25–06:26] Yeah.
[06:26–06:27] They're ready to.
[06:27–06:29] I would do a challenge like that.
[06:29–06:30] Don't look.
[06:30–06:31] Lock that out.
[06:31–06:32] Yeah.
[06:32–06:35] Hey, I feel like when you look at something and you don't, you don't want to look at it.
[06:35–06:37] You know, you know, you're going to get that feeling.
[06:37–06:38] You know it.
[06:38–06:39] And you know it.
[06:39–06:40] He just like burned inside.
[06:40–06:41] Yeah.
[06:41–06:43] You're like, I'm going to see something I don't want to see but I'm just going to see.
[06:43–06:44] I just want to see.
[06:44–06:45] I just get, yeah.
[06:45–06:46] Yeah.
[06:46–06:47] Yeah.
[06:47–06:48] I actually got a hot and bothered like.
[06:48–06:49] You're like, why am I putting myself through this?
[06:49–06:50] Yeah.
[06:50–06:52] I got really good at not to and that there was one point I at least asked myself and I was like,
[06:52–06:53] why am I doing this?
[06:53–06:55] I'm certain something to make myself upset.
[06:55–06:56] Yeah.
[06:56–06:57] Why would you do that?
[06:57–06:58] I've never done it yet.
[06:58–06:59] Did you know?
[06:59–07:00] No.
[07:00–07:01] Yeah.
[07:01–07:02] So.
[07:02–07:03] No.
[07:03–07:04] I think trying to do that will be good for you.
[07:04–07:07] And just now no matter how nice you are to the next girl, if you couldn't be nice to you,
[07:07–07:09] that's your reason to be.
[07:09–07:10] That's a lovely move.
[07:10–07:11] You're not exactly.
[07:11–07:12] Yeah.
[07:12–07:13] Yeah.
[07:13–07:14] We love you.
[07:14–07:15] Love you.
[07:15–07:18] The next one we have is another update.
[07:18–07:19] Another update.
[07:19–07:20] Another update.
[07:20–07:21] So.
[07:21–07:23] The update is, hi gorgeous girls.
[07:23–07:25] I love you both and I hope you're doing so well.
[07:25–07:27] I just wanted to give you guys an update.
[07:27–07:31] My dilemma was about how my boyfriend had finished with me a couple of times.
[07:31–07:35] He spoke to my mom and dad after the first time and then he did it again, etc.
[07:35–07:39] It took a while for my family to accept him again, but they did.
[07:39–07:44] And all was well or so I thought fast forward to February and he did it again.
[07:44–07:47] This time my family really put their foot down and said no more.
[07:47–07:49] They said they won't ever associate.
[07:49–07:53] They won't ever associate with him again and that I've changed because of him,
[07:53–07:57] which I understand, but I've never felt this way about anyone before.
[07:57–07:59] So they haven't seen me like this.
[08:00–08:04] He has a lot of issues he needed to seek help for and he finally has.
[08:04–08:09] He almost lost his life and intern lost his job, his house,
[08:09–08:14] blew through his savings, lost a lot of his friends and was really down in the hole.
[08:14–08:16] So I know it wasn't right.
[08:16–08:18] I know it wasn't right of him to take his problems out on me,
[08:18–08:22] but I can't help but hold space for him because I see the good in him.
[08:22–08:25] It's been over a month now and I really put my foot down this time,
[08:25–08:29] I think, a few other times and asked him for space to focus on me.
[08:29–08:33] So I got back into the gym, started a new job, etc. and feeling great.
[08:33–08:37] And he really has shown me that he's getting the help he needs and turning things around.
[08:37–08:38] I can see a true difference.
[08:38–08:43] I would be lying if I said I wouldn't want to try things again because I'd rather say,
[08:43–08:46] oh, oh, well, then what if?
[08:46–08:47] Oh, yeah, we say that.
[08:47–08:51] Oh, well, then what if I guess I just don't know how to approach my family with this
[08:51–08:54] and the time comes because they know too much already and that's my fault
[08:54–08:56] because I live with them and I'm close with them.
[08:56–08:58] So I fear I've already fucked up.
[08:58–09:00] I need advice again how to navigate these very...
[09:00–09:06] I think your family are always going to look at it from the outside and want the best for you.
[09:06–09:11] Yeah, and they'll see something that isn't the best for you quicker than you'll see it.
[09:11–09:16] Yeah, so it is awkward out to be stuck in the middle of things.
[09:16–09:20] I think if you just be brutally honest with them, be like, I need to learn for myself.
[09:20–09:21] Yeah, you really do.
[09:21–09:23] You need to learn for yourself.
[09:23–09:27] And nobody can tell you what to do until it actually hits you one day that either say,
[09:27–09:30] okay, well, I give another go or what the fuck am I doing?
[09:30–09:31] Oh, I do.
[09:31–09:36] I think protect your own self as well because he might be seeming like he's changing now,
[09:36–09:40] but like people are very manifest when they want to get what they want.
[09:40–09:47] They'll put on this front charade and they go after that charade of what they're like.
[09:47–09:50] And maybe he's not actually changed.
[09:50–09:53] Just be like where are you there?
[09:53–09:56] But yeah, I think telling your family just being honest with them.
[09:56–10:01] Yeah, it's all point kind of hard or no, or beat around the world.
[10:01–10:04] But it's also it's all going to make things difficult for you.
[10:04–10:07] Is in the future like they're probably never going to accept him again.
[10:07–10:08] Yeah.
[10:08–10:11] And that's that's something you have to think of then if you want to get back home.
[10:11–10:12] Like do you want that?
[10:12–10:13] That problem.
[10:13–10:14] Yeah, do you actually want to do it?
[10:14–10:15] Yeah.
[10:15–10:18] And I think just be honest with them.
[10:18–10:19] Just be honest with them.
[10:19–10:20] How we are.
[10:20–10:21] Yeah.
[10:21–10:22] How is it going?
[10:22–10:23] How are you feeling?
[10:23–10:26] Opset, what do you need to take it?
[10:26–10:29] Yeah, you're not going to you're not going to sit there and be able to convince them of how nice it's.
[10:29–10:33] Yeah, you just need to be accepted except another fact that they're not going to be happy like.
[10:33–10:35] I'm kind of thinking about that before you talk.
[10:35–10:36] Yeah.
[10:36–10:38] And just think of it as like.
[10:38–10:40] Like I said, like they just want the best for you.
[10:40–10:40] That's it.
[10:40–10:40] Yeah.
[10:40–10:44] So if they're upset with you, it's because they don't see the potential of this.
[10:44–10:45] Yeah, feck her husband.
[10:45–10:46] And like maybe listen to them as well.
[10:46–10:50] Like if they're trying to tell you something in the conversation, I don't be like.
[10:50–10:52] No, no, no, like just listen to what they have to say.
[10:52–10:53] You don't understand about.
[10:53–10:54] Yeah.
[10:54–10:55] Yeah.
[10:55–10:56] I'm both.
[10:56–10:58] I'm terrified someone like you love looking at that as well.
[10:58–11:02] And they don't want to see you hurt and that's why they're so defensive.
[11:04–11:07] We entered the dilemma last week in episode 77.
[11:07–11:10] And I've been on off with this man for almost three years.
[11:10–11:11] He finally made.
[11:11–11:12] Oh, I'm dying here.
[11:12–11:13] It's okay.
[11:13–11:16] It's the one that got ghosted after he asked me for 14 days.
[11:16–11:17] Oh, yeah, yeah.
[11:17–11:19] I've been on off this man for almost three years.
[11:19–11:21] He finally made it official two weeks ago and everything was amazing.
[11:21–11:24] Her Valentine's Day booktests to go into a hotel.
[11:24–11:25] Sempty flowers, the works.
[11:25–11:26] It was perfect weekend.
[11:26–11:30] I was so happy as I thought he was too few days after we had so tell you.
[11:30–11:33] He's been very off over text and said some has bothering him.
[11:33–11:35] But we are sure that nothing.
[11:35–11:36] I don't do it.
[11:36–11:36] Me or us.
[11:36–11:38] I offered to help and that was lasting.
[11:38–11:39] I heard from him.
[11:39–11:40] It's been 13 days now and nothing.
[11:40–11:43] We used to talk about messages, but all my messages have been delivered.
[11:43–11:46] His snaps go as gone up and went around and the car rang through.
[11:46–11:47] I was seriously worried.
[11:47–11:50] Then annoyed and now I'm just confused and harrow broken.
[11:50–11:51] I cannot for the life.
[11:51–11:52] Me find a reason why this has happened.
[11:52–11:55] My text on Snapchat and I know I was seeing the message as he's been active on the
[11:55–11:56] absence.
[11:56–11:57] When no reason no closure.
[11:57–11:58] I don't know what to do.
[11:58–12:04] Our advice was go to his house in good faith to check in on him because you haven't
[12:04–12:08] heard from him so long or try to get into it's friends, family or colleagues.
[12:08–12:09] Here's the uptake.
[12:09–12:13] Hey girls, it's been over a week since I sent that to them in and it's been three weeks
[12:13–12:16] since I've heard from him.
[12:16–12:18] Thank you so much for your advice on this.
[12:18–12:20] I don't know if I was family or friends at all.
[12:20–12:25] I rang his work and got nowhere and he doesn't have an Instagram so can't even do any digging.
[12:25–12:28] I sent an ultimatum to explain and I know he's been active so he doesn't reply.
[12:28–12:30] I'll take it that you just want to be with me.
[12:30–12:33] I sent that over a week out and still nothing so I guess he just doesn't want to be with
[12:33–12:34] me.
[12:34–12:35] What the f***!
[12:35–12:38] I actually had no block on his number as I couldn't stand seeing him active and still
[12:38–12:39] ignoring me.
[12:39–12:40] It was just so out of the blue.
[12:40–12:44] Maybe just was never that interested but every time we've been things for it to me
[12:44–12:47] do and it didn't and him not want to do anything so I don't understand.
[12:47–12:49] I love your opinion on what I should do.
[12:49–12:53] Should I just move on and be single now or still go to his house and try because at this
[12:53–12:54] stage it was one closure.
[12:54–12:56] Someone who's capable of doing this is someone I don't do with.
[12:56–12:58] I think maybe you're right about the cold feet.
[12:58–12:59] Love you here as in the pod.
[12:59–13:00] Thanks so much for your help.
[13:00–13:02] Now answer to it yourself there.
[13:02–13:04] Someone who's capable of doing that is someone you don't know.
[13:04–13:05] I'm not with so f*** him.
[13:05–13:06] Leave him on blocked.
[13:06–13:07] Leave your best life.
[13:07–13:08] Focus on you.
[13:08–13:09] Yeah.
[13:09–13:11] I wouldn't need an answer out of that.
[13:11–13:12] No.
[13:12–13:13] I wouldn't.
[13:13–13:14] Yeah.
[13:14–13:17] I'm going to play it for you because it's a really good ticsack about closure.
[13:17–13:22] It's only sure I'm on ice cream chateau is very good.
[13:22–13:25] This is about a ticsack about closure right?
[13:25–13:26] Shit.
[13:26–13:37] Do you really need the person who hurt you to tell you I hurt you and I'm sorry and I
[13:37–13:40] feel awful that I did it.
[13:40–13:44] It's beautiful to get it but do you need it?
[13:44–13:48] Do you not know how painful the pain was when you experienced it?
[13:48–13:54] Do you need them to tell you how painful it was and give you permission to feel it?
[13:54–13:55] You don't need it.
[13:55–13:57] You want it.
[13:57–14:00] The one who broke you cannot heal you.
[14:00–14:03] You have to heal you.
[14:03–14:08] You can't expect the person who broke you into pieces to bring those pieces and say
[14:08–14:12] I'm going to put you back together.
[14:12–14:13] You can't do that.
[14:13–14:16] You can but why would you choose to do that?
[14:16–14:21] Someone who has the power to destroy you and uses that power?
[14:21–14:25] Why would you trust them with rebuilding you?
[14:25–14:26] Listen.
[14:26–14:27] Very good.
[14:27–14:28] Very good.
[14:28–14:29] Yeah.
[14:29–14:31] The one who hurt you can't heal you.
[14:31–14:32] Yeah.
[14:32–14:33] You don't need their closure.
[14:33–14:37] What I'm going to say is sorry for being a bastard.
[14:37–14:38] It's not that you did.
[14:38–14:41] You couldn't give yourself closure by saying.
[14:41–14:43] I didn't do that in one.
[14:43–14:45] That's his fault.
[14:45–14:47] His loss?
[14:47–14:48] Yeah.
[14:48–14:50] It's so hard.
[14:50–14:55] Whatever you get off him, if he says I have not told you, it's not what I'm going to do for you.
[14:55–14:57] It's probably going to actually make you more upset.
[14:57–14:59] The answer isn't going to fix anything.
[14:59–15:00] No.
[15:00–15:03] You can fix everything yourself.
[15:03–15:05] I wouldn't bother going to his house.
[15:05–15:09] He don't need him to tell you what's going to make you fix yourself.
[15:09–15:12] He clearly doesn't know because he's after doing that.
[15:12–15:13] Bizarre.
[15:13–15:14] Mendel.
[15:14–15:17] So when you can do that clearly, also just have the emotional intelligence to be actually
[15:17–15:21] have a good conversation with you if they think that's the way of treating someone.
[15:21–15:26] The next one is actually advice from a listener on a dilemma.
[15:26–15:28] So, hi girls.
[15:28–15:33] I was listening to your extra juice episode when I heard the dilemma with the girl that was going to the gym
[15:33–15:35] and kept getting approached by a guy.
[15:35–15:36] Oh yeah.
[15:36–15:40] I went on to say that he has now messaged Sean Instagram and is avoiding the gym.
[15:40–15:42] I just want to email.
[15:42–15:45] I just want to email you because I had a similar experience with a man in the gym.
[15:45–15:46] I went to.
[15:46–15:51] He would approach me every time I was in the gym, making inappropriate comments and telling me his life story.
[15:51–15:55] Another younger guy in the gym ended up approaching me about him because he is seen.
[15:55–15:58] He has seen this happen to so many young girls and warrant me to be careful.
[15:58–16:02] He said that it's gotten so bad in the past that the girls have ended up moving gym.
[16:02–16:06] Before they moved gym, they even reported this man to the gym staff.
[16:06–16:09] But because there is now actual evidence, nothing could be done.
[16:09–16:13] I ended up avoiding the gym at certain times because I knew he would be there and approached me.
[16:13–16:15] Moving gym was an option for me at the time.
[16:15–16:21] He ended up in the gym at the same time as me one morning and approached me and asked why I have changed times
[16:21–16:24] and then proceeded to make inappropriate comments again.
[16:24–16:28] The younger guy was also in the gym at this time and saw this interaction.
[16:28–16:31] He approached me when the older man had left and asked if I was okay.
[16:31–16:38] He came up with the idea where he said he would pretend to be my cousin and tell him to leave me be as he was making me uncomfortable.
[16:38–16:42] Something that as a younger alone in the gym, I wouldn't have the confidence to do.
[16:42–16:47] The younger man stuck to his ward and I was never approached by the older man again.
[16:47–16:54] I've had to change gyms since because I have moved areas but just wanted to write in because I'd hate to think it was the same man.
[16:54–16:58] Making this girl feel uncomfortable and cause her to move gyms.
[16:58–17:01] That shouldn't have to be the solution.
[17:01–17:04] Sorry about the long email but just helps this helps the girl struggling.
[17:04–17:07] Loveless and appreciate you being so open.
[17:07–17:09] What's the list there?
[17:09–17:14] You shouldn't have to move a gym because from where there is being weird.
[17:14–17:19] I think over the last few years I've learned that you don't need to be nice to someone who's being a creep.
[17:19–17:24] I used to feel like I was awkward to be like me but now I just would be like, welcome.
[17:24–17:27] It's all I knew home to have a date on them.
[17:27–17:34] Someone who was stepping in the line and letting them know that they shouldn't be allowed to.
[17:34–17:36] No, completely afraid of that.
[17:36–17:38] If they're like, I was renew, just without a catboy.
[17:38–17:41] Someone who's making you feel weird, let them know or you're making me feel weird.
[17:41–17:42] Don't like it.
[17:42–17:43] Move on.
[17:43–17:44] Thank you for that voice.
[17:44–17:46] Thank you for the voice.
[17:47–17:50] I think I was just an unsurred people's accent for the other time.
[17:50–17:52] Is that something you say in your estate?
[17:52–17:56] I don't think it was but that you literally only...
[17:56–17:58] The gym somewhere you don't want to be approached by.
[17:58–17:59] No, yeah.
[17:59–18:00] Okay.
[18:00–18:05] Like everyone's sweaty like, no, I don't want, I'm not looking at you, it's soft thing and I want to do it.
[18:05–18:06] No, yeah. You're there for one reason.
[18:06–18:07] Yeah.
[18:07–18:09] You're there to get out and not a good day in place.
[18:09–18:10] No.
[18:10–18:13] I had mascara on, either they're going to the gym actually and they're...
[18:13–18:15] One in the gym, that's me.
[18:15–18:17] You got on the day after this?
[18:17–18:18] Is that like, what?
[18:18–18:19] Just put on the mascara.
[18:19–18:21] You got on the day after this, you've got lashes all on.
[18:21–18:25] I said, I forgot my mascara wrong, they look dead in the morning.
[18:25–18:27] Jesus, yeah.
[18:27–18:28] Oh, yeah, no.
[18:28–18:29] Not a place to...
[18:29–18:30] Yeah, people.
[18:30–18:35] Unless they will look at each other and all that, maybe then, but like, someone's doing their own business doing their own work out.
[18:35–18:36] Please, I'm going to go now.
[18:36–18:37] Yeah.
[18:37–18:38] In their own space.
[18:38–18:39] Yeah, exactly.
[18:39–18:42] And next up then we have our dilemmas for the stepsops.
[18:42–18:47] So, these are all sent into how much you can go to www.learnyours.com
[18:47–18:49] and you can send them there if you have any.
[18:49–18:53] This one is, hey girls, I literally the best help with your sandwich recently.
[18:53–18:54] Glad to see you.
[18:54–18:55] They're both happy.
[18:55–18:56] I love you.
[18:56–19:01] And my dilemma at the minute is that I have always wanted to move to Australia and I was planning on going in 2023 with my boyfriend.
[19:01–19:02] I broke up in July.
[19:02–19:03] That's a whole new story.
[19:03–19:05] Don't be getting to that right now.
[19:05–19:09] Anyway, a girl I work with said to me that she would like to travel in too.
[19:09–19:10] I will consider as friends.
[19:10–19:12] I may need just work, but I've known her for less than a year.
[19:12–19:17] We've grown closer over the year, but in recent times I've been getting red flags from her.
[19:17–19:20] She's often moved, singing her work, and has a recent effect of work environment.
[19:20–19:23] She doesn't really have much to say about her housemates, and I would give now out with them.
[19:24–19:28] And something my girl is just telling me she's a bit of a convuls of liar times.
[19:28–19:30] I did too feel like such a bad person for you this way now.
[19:30–19:34] I said consider her my friend, but I just don't think I can move to Australia with her.
[19:34–19:35] But I don't fully trust her.
[19:35–19:37] Any help would be greatly appreciated.
[19:37–19:38] Thank you.
[19:38–19:40] That's your gutter.
[19:40–19:42] Ooh, a dodge stat.
[19:42–19:43] Yeah.
[19:43–19:46] If you're already getting affected by her in a workplace, imagine it a full time.
[19:46–19:47] Live more like...
[19:47–19:49] Imagine moving across the world or...
[19:49–19:51] Oh, no.
[19:51–19:55] I hate people like that who take out their mood on everyone.
[19:55–19:56] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[19:56–19:58] And you know people who you're around and you can feel it off them.
[19:58–20:00] You can feel the bad energy.
[20:00–20:02] Yeah, like you feel like teachers.
[20:02–20:04] If you had a moody teacher, they feel like that.
[20:04–20:07] Like you'd all be like, you'd feel that they're not bad mood.
[20:07–20:10] And it would just affect everyone.
[20:13–20:14] How do you tell her?
[20:14–20:17] It's all because you're walking or is that...
[20:18–20:21] Like, because you're obviously even off-going,
[20:21–20:23] we're already party-errant, gonna go.
[20:23–20:24] Realistically.
[20:24–20:27] Yeah, do you just tell her I'm not going anymore?
[20:27–20:29] She's like, I'm not going either.
[20:29–20:31] Then you know, but I'm so good.
[20:31–20:33] So I change my mind.
[20:33–20:35] Does there anyone else you can go with, maybe?
[20:35–20:37] And like, you're going around.
[20:37–20:38] Yeah.
[20:38–20:42] And if you wanted to just tell her, like, listen, I'm actually gonna do this myself.
[20:42–20:44] And me, friends along the way or somebody.
[20:44–20:45] Yeah, yeah.
[20:45–20:47] I'm just doing a bit of traveling for us.
[20:47–20:50] I want to challenge myself and try and do it myself.
[20:50–20:51] Yeah, me, yeah.
[20:51–20:52] True.
[20:52–20:54] As a teller, she's being a big black cloud.
[20:54–20:56] And you know, I'm hanging around with her.
[20:56–20:58] I used to have so many of my lifehows.
[20:58–20:59] I used to always call them a black cloud.
[20:59–21:00] Really?
[21:00–21:01] Yeah, you say you were a big black cloud.
[21:01–21:03] You just rain and everyone's parade.
[21:03–21:04] You're just a sour pulse.
[21:04–21:06] That's what you say to me all the time.
[21:06–21:07] Oh.
[21:07–21:08] Just bring the energy down.
[21:08–21:10] It's just a lifehavier.
[21:10–21:11] It's like a dream.
[21:11–21:12] I understand.
[21:12–21:13] Yeah.
[21:13–21:14] That's not something you want to be living with.
[21:14–21:18] I'd either tell her you're doing it yourself if you'd rather do it yourself.
[21:18–21:19] Yeah.
[21:19–21:22] And maybe because you even do like the travel about yourself.
[21:22–21:24] I'd say you're traveling for a few weeks for her and like, would that be?
[21:24–21:25] You're so nice.
[21:25–21:26] Would you do it with someone?
[21:26–21:28] Yeah, but maybe she wants someone to go to have them without
[21:28–21:29] at least she can get that done.
[21:29–21:30] Oh, get there.
[21:30–21:31] And get there by yourself for some.
[21:31–21:32] Okay, yeah.
[21:32–21:35] But she ruined the balls with the death of her own.
[21:35–21:36] She ruined the balls.
[21:36–21:39] But it's taking me people on the way of traveling.
[21:39–21:41] Yeah, so she might ruin it even more.
[21:42–21:43] She might get my dress.
[21:43–21:44] Let's see if you can make it for her.
[21:44–21:45] Yeah.
[21:45–21:46] Yeah.
[21:46–21:47] God, that is a pickle.
[21:47–21:49] That is a pickle.
[21:49–21:52] So a pickle.
[21:52–21:54] I think maybe just tell her you'd rather do it in your own.
[21:54–21:55] You want to challenge yourself and just.
[21:55–21:56] Yeah, if you can.
[21:56–21:58] Take on the journey yourself.
[21:58–22:01] Or have someone else to go, which is be like.
[22:01–22:02] Oh, here.
[22:02–22:03] Yes.
[22:03–22:04] Or else move jobs.
[22:04–22:06] Like it's someone like that really a loss.
[22:06–22:09] If she goes to your bitch, I'm not going to graduate anymore because you wouldn't come with me.
[22:10–22:12] Is that really last like she'd say thank God.
[22:12–22:13] Yeah.
[22:13–22:14] Yeah.
[22:14–22:16] She seems like not great.
[22:16–22:19] You're already noticed in red flags offer.
[22:19–22:21] Yeah, it's only going to get worse.
[22:21–22:24] I think if you can go alone.
[22:24–22:28] Judge, if you have someone else you could go with and.
[22:28–22:31] I wouldn't go for the sake of it just because if she's the only resting girl and you don't go alone.
[22:31–22:32] I wouldn't go with her.
[22:32–22:33] I was for the sake of it.
[22:33–22:34] Nothing at all.
[22:34–22:35] Not for the Australian.
[22:35–22:36] No.
[22:36–22:37] No.
[22:37–22:38] I was outside the planet.
[22:38–22:39] Yeah.
[22:39–22:42] If you're really lonely, if you have someone who you're not enjoying the company.
[22:42–22:43] Yeah.
[22:43–22:44] At least you have actually a good friend.
[22:44–22:45] You probably wouldn't feel like that.
[22:45–22:48] But someone like that is probably probably feel lonely to be around.
[22:48–22:49] It will ruin your time there.
[22:49–22:50] Your heart of experience.
[22:50–22:51] I would like to.
[22:51–22:52] Yeah.
[22:52–22:53] Exactly.
[22:53–22:54] So try and scrap her.
[22:54–22:56] The next one we have then is.
[22:56–22:57] Hi girls.
[22:57–22:58] First of all, I love you.
[22:58–22:59] And the podcast so much.
[22:59–23:01] It gets me through anxious times.
[23:01–23:06] This isn't much of a dilemma, but just something that's been playing on my mind recently and often makes me upset.
[23:06–23:11] So basically I'm in a group of six girls and we all get on so well and are all so close.
[23:11–23:14] However, I feel as though I don't have a best friend.
[23:14–23:17] Two of the girls in the group are really close.
[23:17–23:19] Tell each other everything and do everything together.
[23:19–23:22] Another two girls in the group have been friends since they were children.
[23:22–23:26] So obviously have much of a stronger relationship than anyone in the rest of the group.
[23:26–23:29] Me and the other girl in the group obviously get on so well and I love her.
[23:29–23:31] But she doesn't treat me as a best friend.
[23:31–23:34] She's always with her boyfriend, which is completely fair.
[23:34–23:37] But I barely see her and she doesn't text ever.
[23:37–23:40] I feel like I'm the odd one out in the group and don't know how to turn.
[23:40–23:43] I don't know who to turn to if I have a problem.
[23:43–23:45] It's hard for you and the other girls so close.
[23:45–23:47] They would never leave me out of plans or anything.
[23:47–23:52] And in no way are they mean to me, but it just makes me upset that I don't have someone.
[23:52–23:55] And that thinks of me as their first choice.
[23:55–23:58] I've tried saying it to the multiple times, but never changes.
[23:58–24:01] It's been like this for over eight years of friendship.
[24:01–24:03] I've tried to advise them what to do.
[24:03–24:05] We appreciate it.
[24:05–24:09] That's so hard because you can't make someone here.
[24:09–24:14] Especially in a group like that.
[24:14–24:19] There are going to be people who I'm in a group of six.
[24:19–24:24] And some of the girls be closer than others.
[24:24–24:27] But like she said, like, no one's ever been to each other.
[24:27–24:29] They just naturally.
[24:29–24:31] It's always going to be like that.
[24:31–24:33] That's naturally going to happen.
[24:33–24:39] But I don't think, I don't think don't focus on not being someone's first choice.
[24:39–24:42] And maybe it's a thing of like it's been eight years and feeling like that.
[24:42–24:46] Like maybe it's like you could have that as a group, but also branch out.
[24:46–24:47] What are we?
[24:47–24:50] And find someone who would pick you as their first choice.
[24:50–24:52] You're never two hours of my friends.
[24:52–24:54] Because that's what makes it like a friend.
[24:54–24:57] It's probably a school friendship because of the like how long your friends.
[24:57–24:59] Like sometimes school you don't happen to me.
[24:59–25:01] You just don't happen to meet your best best friends.
[25:01–25:02] You're kind of sometimes.
[25:02–25:07] Not that you're forced to hang around with each other, but like I feel like.
[25:07–25:10] In school, you're young as well.
[25:10–25:12] You can actually all kind of come together.
[25:12–25:14] And yet only me is sick about you.
[25:14–25:18] Yeah, there's only a few who wanted something in your year or whatever it is.
[25:18–25:21] That's not you're not guaranteed to find a best best friend in there.
[25:21–25:23] Don't be too arrogant yourself over that.
[25:24–25:29] I'm just guessing she's like a certain skill, but like I think when you go to college and stuff you might find.
[25:29–25:31] People are like start work or a new job.
[25:31–25:35] Like you might find people that would pick you as their first choice in air.
[25:35–25:36] Like tap it nice.
[25:36–25:37] It ain't appreciate you more.
[25:37–25:38] Yeah.
[25:38–25:43] I don't think it's the case of not like you said obviously you love your friends and stuff like not.
[25:43–25:48] Not wanting to be friends with them, but I don't really out that like you can't have other people in your life as well.
[25:48–25:49] Yeah, exactly.
[25:49–25:50] And there's nothing wrong with that.
[25:50–25:54] It's a bit short though that she said of some and they were like me and unchanged.
[25:54–26:00] But it's also like you can't it's not the same if you force someone to do to act a certain way.
[26:00–26:01] Yeah, and it treats purpose.
[26:01–26:02] You're like, okay, what's the point?
[26:02–26:06] Like even having to say it like I know obviously you should be a surely best friend of everything,
[26:06–26:09] but like you should have to say that multiple times like you like she said.
[26:09–26:10] No.
[26:10–26:12] No, I agree.
[26:12–26:16] We hope you're okay and you'll find your person.
[26:16–26:17] You will.
[26:17–26:18] Yeah.
[26:18–26:21] And it's so nice to have a group, even if you don't feel like you're someone's number one.
[26:21–26:24] Having a group with girls to be able to go.
[26:24–26:25] Yeah, yeah.
[26:25–26:26] Yeah.
[26:26–26:32] So we have an email address where you can send your dilemmas to if you want to give us updates or a news lemus
[26:32–26:35] or give advice to someone else's dilemma as well.
[26:35–26:36] That was fun.
[26:36–26:40] A new episode of sorry, the email is howmydrinkacrot.gov.com.
[26:40–26:44] New episode of how my drink ex-juice coming every one day and I may not have so through it on Wednesdays.
[26:44–26:46] Thank you for my response in this episode.
[26:46–26:47] We love you.
[26:47–26:48] We love you too.
[26:48–26:51] Make sure to like, rate, subscribe and we'll see you all Wednesdays.
[26:51–26:52] See you then.
[26:52–26:53] Love you.
[26:53–26:54] Bye.
[26:54–26:57] Hold my drink, ex-reduce with Charlene and Ellie.
[26:57–27:00] A go-laid original podcast.
[27:00–27:08] Proudly sponsored by Panys, whether it's stylish savings and new double snuddy, gym gear, or some beauty bits you're looking for.
[27:08–27:11] Panys is the ultimate high street destination.