EXTRA JUICE: "I am terrified to let my guard down and become serious with anyone..." #40 — Hold My Drink

[00:00–00:04] Hold my drink, extra juice, with Charline and Ellie.
[00:04–00:07] I go light a written-up podcast,
[00:07–00:09] proudly supported by pennies.
[00:09–00:13] Get this season's must-haves in a store near you.
[00:22–00:24] Welcome to our drink, extra juice.
[00:24–00:26] Today's episode's Connie's sponsored by Primarker pennies,
[00:26–00:28] the Ultimate Housey Destination.
[00:28–00:29] Thus everything you need,
[00:29–00:31] this January to make it your year, your way.
[00:31–00:33] Penny's Primarker is the Ultimate Housey Destination store
[00:33–00:35] that we all love and adore.
[00:35–00:38] I'm a poet, didn't know it.
[00:38–00:40] As we all feel the post-Christmas pinch,
[00:40–00:41] Penny's help is many as possible
[00:41–00:44] to afford small joys in her day's say-lives.
[00:44–00:45] That's embraced the everyday,
[00:45–00:47] but also remember to treat ourselves
[00:47–00:49] and to those sound-up pieces that make us look great
[00:49–00:52] and feel amazing, the amazing, Jim Girith moment
[00:52–00:53] that you feel great in.
[00:53–00:56] And when you feel good, you do a good work.
[00:56–00:57] I change everything.
[00:57–00:58] Do you want to mention your shirt for bed sheets
[00:58–01:00] that I have stopped caring about?
[01:00–01:02] I got a shirt for bed sheets and pennies,
[01:02–01:05] and I had to get another set of them
[01:05–01:06] because I was like, I need one on a rotation.
[01:06–01:08] I can't sleep, but no, I'm not a bed sheet anymore.
[01:08–01:10] No, but I'll say, he's sleeping in,
[01:10–01:12] so maybe I should not have them.
[01:12–01:15] Because it's so, I got a shirt for fit of sheet,
[01:15–01:16] and I got into bed, I was like,
[01:16–01:18] and you know when you feel young depends,
[01:18–01:19] cold the first day, it wasn't cold.
[01:19–01:23] Oh, it was like getting to a little pocket.
[01:23–01:24] It was the wound.
[01:24–01:25] Yeah, that's what I was like.
[01:25–01:26] It was lovely.
[01:27–01:30] With it, stylish savings, a new double snowy new Jim Girith,
[01:30–01:32] like Shirley said, or new beauty bits that you're looking for,
[01:32–01:34] they literally have it all.
[01:34–01:35] Published at store now, you know,
[01:35–01:38] Penny's the ultimate destination that has everything you need.
[01:38–01:40] This January to make it your way,
[01:40–01:44] you can log on to www.primerct.com for such a eat,
[01:44–01:46] check out all the pieces beforehand.
[01:46–01:49] So we have an update from last week's bonus episode.
[01:49–01:51] If you've listened to that, if you haven't, go back here.
[01:51–01:52] Oh, so this is only a fresh update.
[01:52–01:53] Fresh.
[01:53–01:55] So we answered the dilemma.
[01:55–01:56] The dilemma was I have two side hustles on top of my-
[01:56–01:57] Oh, remember this.
[01:57–01:58] Yeah.
[01:58–02:00] And I was like, oh, maybe it's, I don't know.
[02:00–02:02] I was matching thought it was a sexual side.
[02:02–02:03] I don't know.
[02:03–02:04] I'm very sorry.
[02:04–02:05] I hope I didn't offend you.
[02:05–02:08] So side hustles that I aged out with two years ago,
[02:08–02:10] and it's treating to expensive products,
[02:10–02:12] and side hustles of bees is service at no products
[02:12–02:14] or anything only started this two weeks ago.
[02:14–02:15] She has a friend, especially one,
[02:15–02:17] who just assumes she doesn't pay for anything,
[02:17–02:18] especially for side hustles of bees
[02:18–02:20] as it comes at no cost to me.
[02:20–02:22] So started my business page for this one,
[02:22–02:23] and she texted me asked and called,
[02:23–02:25] I do for her without even following her share
[02:25–02:26] my new business page.
[02:26–02:29] I did so under girls, and she was like, WTF.
[02:29–02:31] So side hustles are a, when I do this for her,
[02:31–02:32] she'll just cover the product cost,
[02:32–02:34] which is fine when I start two years ago,
[02:34–02:35] as I needed practice,
[02:35–02:37] but now still doesn't even offer anything.
[02:37–02:39] But I'm still just more annoyed the fact
[02:39–02:41] that she had the balls to ask me to side hustles
[02:41–02:42] of me without even a follow.
[02:42–02:44] As a lot of clients are with me Instagram,
[02:44–02:46] so that actually doesn't mean more to me than payment.
[02:46–02:48] I also did a giveaway, and she didn't even acknowledge it.
[02:48–02:51] As a friend, I would share anything to support my girls.
[02:51–02:53] The update is, hey, girls,
[02:53–02:56] he's having a held and trying to guess the side hustles.
[02:56–02:57] So before I tell you my jobs,
[02:57–02:59] your episode just came out with my friend,
[02:59–03:00] followed my business page,
[03:00–03:01] lol, don't know if she listened,
[03:01–03:04] or just pure coincidence, lol.
[03:04–03:06] So my two side hustles are,
[03:06–03:09] hairdressing and a psychic medium and a raky heat.
[03:09–03:10] Oh, wow.
[03:10–03:13] Wow, what did we guess again?
[03:13–03:17] Um, I think I just thought of something sexual.
[03:17–03:18] I don't know.
[03:18–03:19] I think no products just the service.
[03:19–03:21] I think I said an organizer was a service.
[03:21–03:23] Oh, yeah, yeah.
[03:23–03:24] Oh, I'm very sorry if I offended you.
[03:24–03:26] Hope I didn't put, wow.
[03:26–03:27] I would have never thought that she,
[03:27–03:28] yeah, you don't need any products for us.
[03:28–03:29] Yeah, you don't need any products.
[03:29–03:30] Just you and your beautiful brand.
[03:30–03:31] Yes, yeah.
[03:31–03:32] You're a special brand.
[03:32–03:34] Well, and we have a psychic rating.
[03:34–03:35] Yeah, you're a little fun.
[03:35–03:36] Very heat.
[03:36–03:37] I've never done a, have you ever done a raky?
[03:37–03:38] Yeah, I'm a raky one.
[03:38–03:39] Have you ever?
[03:39–03:41] Yeah, I've never met my girls are hooked on it.
[03:41–03:42] Really?
[03:42–03:44] Oh, they find it amazing.
[03:44–03:45] Yeah.
[03:45–03:47] I don't know, I don't know if it's because it's on on it.
[03:47–03:48] It wasn't so.
[03:48–03:51] But now the girls go to this woman's house
[03:51–03:54] and like, I think one of the girls would tell me a few years
[03:54–03:56] rather she did it and like, she was just
[03:56–03:57] barren and crying, but in the best way.
[03:57–04:00] Like, it just releases so much out here.
[04:00–04:01] And yeah, it's amazing.
[04:01–04:03] Oh, you do, it's so tough.
[04:03–04:05] But the friend followed?
[04:05–04:06] Very good.
[04:06–04:07] Yeah.
[04:07–04:08] I don't know if she lives.
[04:08–04:09] I love to get a psychic rating.
[04:09–04:11] And I love going to any psychics.
[04:11–04:12] No, I'm free.
[04:12–04:12] No, I'm not.
[04:12–04:13] Love, no.
[04:13–04:15] I don't think that's something you should dabble in.
[04:15–04:16] Really?
[04:16–04:16] I'm just worried about that.
[04:16–04:19] No, that's more like ghost than I was bad, Dublin.
[04:19–04:20] I wouldn't do Dublin there.
[04:20–04:24] Medium was just telling nice things with the future.
[04:24–04:26] You really have to tell you nice things.
[04:26–04:27] They're not Italian bad, no.
[04:27–04:28] They're not allowed?
[04:28–04:30] Oh, but then I'd want to know if it was something bad.
[04:30–04:32] I think it's like, I hit by a bus tomorrow.
[04:32–04:33] They can't tell me that.
[04:33–04:34] No.
[04:34–04:34] See?
[04:34–04:36] Don't leave.
[04:36–04:37] Everything's going to happen either way.
[04:37–04:37] What's point?
[04:37–04:39] No.
[04:39–04:39] It's right.
[04:39–04:40] I don't know.
[04:40–04:40] We're going to hit by a bus tomorrow.
[04:40–04:42] Yeah, it wouldn't stand in front of the bus.
[04:42–04:43] Yeah, but fate is man making it.
[04:43–04:46] I think there's a way that we're all just going to die.
[04:46–04:47] Like, mad, isn't it?
[04:47–04:48] I think there's like the plan though.
[04:48–04:49] Yeah.
[04:49–04:51] I hope my head if I say something.
[04:51–04:52] Yeah, no.
[04:52–04:53] I'm going to read it well.
[04:53–04:54] Get into this week's Seagal's.
[04:54–04:56] The lemons of Alpencent, two-way email address, which is home.
[04:56–04:59] I drink aco.lowofnow.com.
[04:59–05:00] And these are quite long.
[05:00–05:03] So get your listing areas on.
[05:03–05:07] First one is I've been a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now.
[05:07–05:10] After we were in a relationship in primary skill.
[05:10–05:12] We lost contact after secondary skill years.
[05:12–05:13] And I know, I'm even happier than ever.
[05:13–05:17] We live in the same area and our family is known for her as long as I can remember.
[05:17–05:19] So I've always known that his man was a bit of a handful.
[05:19–05:20] I don't know.
[05:20–05:23] When we got together last year, I was terrified of what she'd think of me or she'd even
[05:23–05:27] like me at all because if she didn't like you, she really doesn't like you.
[05:27–05:29] My boyfriend is a mommy's boy and I don't have a problem with that.
[05:29–05:35] But she can be very bitchy about my boyfriend's brother's partner and often speaks about her
[05:35–05:36] and front of me.
[05:36–05:39] A few times even his dad has come out when reassured me that she doesn't speak about
[05:39–05:41] me like that when I'm not around.
[05:41–05:45] It worries me what she says about my back or if she's just putting on a show of liking
[05:45–05:48] me to my face as I know she plays such an important role in my boyfriend's life.
[05:48–05:51] She can ask me very invasive in our relationship wanting to know everything about everything.
[05:51–05:55] Last year we booked our first holiday together for the two of us and three weeks later I
[05:55–05:58] found out she had booked to go to the exact same place for the exact same dates after we
[05:58–06:00] had booked.
[06:00–06:01] She just needs to be involved in everything.
[06:01–06:06] I really am sorry to compare it to my boyfriend at the top of this going on for years.
[06:06–06:10] I've mentioned it to my boyfriend before and he reassures me that she genuinely does
[06:10–06:13] a pre-love of me but I can't bring myself to bring up the conversation about her being
[06:13–06:17] so invasive as I know he's so close to her and I don't want to cause trouble.
[06:17–06:20] It's an awkward situation and I'm not really sure where to turn to next.
[06:20–06:23] I love him so much and I don't want to lose him having something like this.
[06:23–06:27] Any advice we really appreciate at least in the podcast every week of my college.
[06:27–06:30] Thank you.
[06:30–06:40] It's an awkward one because you don't want to like you need to also remember like it.
[06:40–06:41] It's as my.
[06:41–06:42] It's as my yeah.
[06:42–06:45] Her book on the same holiday as the book and word.
[06:45–06:50] Maybe he invited her on the slide.
[06:50–06:54] That's even worse.
[06:54–06:56] What would you say?
[06:56–07:02] It's all hard to say things without a pen and you're going to have to say real.
[07:02–07:04] Yeah, real defensive then.
[07:04–07:07] If you say here isn't it but weird at your own book the same dates.
[07:08–07:11] Could you suggest change the holiday destination or is that really bad?
[07:11–07:15] Could you say a little white line but I actually feel somewhere better.
[07:15–07:19] Yeah, I was looking all when the girls were saying she went to her like it's so much nicer
[07:19–07:21] than it is.
[07:21–07:25] But I think as well because you're in a different secondary skill.
[07:25–07:28] I know, it's after that.
[07:28–07:31] Because you're in the same area I'm guessing you still all live there that's more but
[07:31–07:34] like if he's ever were to move out of the area so if he probably wouldn't feed that
[07:34–07:35] as much.
[07:35–07:40] But you're probably always around her and obviously her talk about the boyfriends brother's
[07:40–07:44] partner gives you anxiety because you're like oh god she's probably saying all that
[07:44–07:45] about me.
[07:45–07:50] But I don't think I feel like if you're saying that she's like you she really doesn't like
[07:50–07:51] it.
[07:51–07:52] She probably would you know.
[07:52–07:54] Yeah, she knows you didn't like that.
[07:54–08:00] It wouldn't be a thing of your like guessing about it.
[08:00–08:01] I don't know.
[08:01–08:06] Could you say something like her or I don't like a fender like her or I don't like a
[08:06–08:10] awkward but you know I think that you keep her a little bit more to herself.
[08:10–08:11] Yeah, don't even say about the man.
[08:11–08:15] I'm just like I'm just not really like tell family and stuff.
[08:15–08:17] Yeah, say it on both sides.
[08:17–08:18] Yeah, both.
[08:18–08:19] Yeah.
[08:19–08:20] Yeah.
[08:20–08:23] Or even could you pretend like your mom is asking something like I wasn't telling her
[08:23–08:25] like so I kind of want to keep it like between us.
[08:25–08:26] So like that.
[08:26–08:27] Yeah.
[08:27–08:31] And bad things were just stuff that people don't need to know about like.
[08:31–08:36] So like I then the whole day I think it's just just to go somewhere else.
[08:36–08:40] Like if you're really comfortable with a man like you just have a really old relationship
[08:40–08:41] between you and him.
[08:41–08:43] I say it to him then.
[08:43–08:44] Yeah.
[08:44–08:47] Like your mom is doing way too much.
[08:47–08:50] Yeah, I love her but she's doing that.
[08:50–08:53] No, that's that's a bit much for me now.
[08:53–08:57] Yeah, I just feel like I really actually love your mom but I just feel like she's
[08:57–08:58] like the third whale in the room.
[08:58–08:59] Yeah.
[08:59–09:00] Feel like I'm waiting for your mom.
[09:00–09:01] Yeah.
[09:01–09:03] I like how mad can he actually go?
[09:03–09:05] Is there from a certain drone terrace?
[09:05–09:06] We hope.
[09:06–09:07] You know what I mean?
[09:07–09:11] Like he might be a little bit like pissed off like surely he feels that as well.
[09:11–09:14] Maybe just the closer he was and say it, but surely he'd feel that so.
[09:14–09:15] You would?
[09:15–09:16] Yeah.
[09:16–09:21] I think say it to him in a sense of way and yeah we react and kind of go from there.
[09:21–09:22] Yeah.
[09:22–09:23] Yeah.
[09:23–09:24] The next one is Hi Sheldon Nellie.
[09:24–09:27] Just want to say I love the podcast.
[09:28–09:29] I'm sorry, nothing more.
[09:29–09:32] I love to go for a long drive and listen to your podcast.
[09:32–09:33] Thank you.
[09:33–09:36] Me and my boyfriend were going out for two and a half years and everything was brilliant.
[09:36–09:40] I was in college and he was working or he was at home working.
[09:40–09:44] One night he went out with his mates away from home and he kissed another girl.
[09:44–09:47] He told me the trail that I contacted the other girl and it was confirmed.
[09:47–09:49] It was just a stupid, extremely drunk and kiss.
[09:49–09:54] As much as I didn't want to end things I did for my own sake as I simply couldn't trust him.
[09:54–09:58] Even though he genuinely was so good to me and honestly one of my best friends it wasn't
[09:58–10:03] fair in either of us fast forward a year of me being single and healing long story short
[10:03–10:04] we got back together.
[10:04–10:07] We took things slow and everything honestly was great.
[10:07–10:12] I was fully over what he did and can safely say we had such a healthy special relationship.
[10:12–10:14] However lately I'm starting to overthink.
[10:14–10:19] He was never ever good for going on his phone and I so and I respect that as he's with
[10:19–10:24] his friends and I know when I'm out I don't be the best for my phone either as it's normal.
[10:24–10:28] But also a few texts sometimes times keep each other updated.
[10:28–10:29] Goes without saying.
[10:29–10:31] However now I get none of that.
[10:31–10:32] He hasn't known anything that stands out.
[10:32–10:35] However I can't stop thinking about the cheat in episode all of a sudden.
[10:35–10:40] Something is telling me in my gut that something else has happened but I also could be extremely
[10:40–10:41] paranoid.
[10:41–10:45] I think the fact that I was told straight away and how I reacted by anything and now
[10:45–10:50] back together God forbid if something is happening he's not going to tell me.
[10:50–10:55] So let's come oh do let's come clean and admit that they've cheated or do we have to
[10:55–10:59] investigate love the both of you do they come clean?
[10:59–11:02] No Jesus no.
[11:02–11:04] Cry you know even when you have solid proof in front of you.
[11:04–11:06] That wasn't me.
[11:06–11:08] I didn't do that.
[11:08–11:11] Yeah no.
[11:11–11:16] But I do think you can even if it's with the same person sorry I'm just stretching here
[11:16–11:19] even if it's with the same person.
[11:19–11:20] Oh that was long.
[11:20–11:21] Yeah.
[11:21–11:22] Oh did you hear that?
[11:22–11:23] Yeah.
[11:23–11:24] You're back.
[11:24–11:25] It's delicious.
[11:25–11:29] I do think you can bring like I said even if it's with the same person like if you do
[11:29–11:36] break up and get back together you can bring paranoia from past experiences into another
[11:36–11:37] relationship again like course.
[11:37–11:39] Yeah yeah yeah.
[11:39–11:43] I think if something something like cheat or something like that happens in a relationship
[11:43–11:44] you'll always carry it into your next one.
[11:44–11:45] Yeah.
[11:45–11:46] But that's what I mean.
[11:46–11:50] I mean even in circumstances if it's with someone else if it's with someone else.
[11:50–11:51] If it's with someone else.
[11:51–11:52] Oh.
[11:52–11:54] Any trust issues will be carried out.
[11:54–11:56] Oh carried just like a mask carry over the wall.
[11:56–11:57] Yeah carry over yeah.
[11:57–11:58] Yeah.
[11:58–12:00] You'll always be that a little bit more paranoid.
[12:00–12:01] Yeah.
[12:01–12:08] So it's not like it's not necessarily that I'm saying like yeah he's running again.
[12:08–12:12] But it also could be because you do have those trust issues with him.
[12:12–12:14] Not your nail screw when I was in every little thing.
[12:14–12:15] Yeah.
[12:15–12:16] Whereas before you didn't because you had no reason actually.
[12:16–12:17] Yeah yeah.
[12:17–12:20] You're overthinking everything now because you're just automatically thinking oh god he's
[12:20–12:21] done it again.
[12:21–12:23] I think if he's the type person that did come clean.
[12:23–12:25] Do you think you do it again?
[12:25–12:26] Come to it.
[12:26–12:27] Yeah.
[12:27–12:29] But she's afraid that he won't because of how she reacts.
[12:29–12:30] Yeah.
[12:30–12:31] He'll break up.
[12:31–12:32] She'll break up with him again.
[12:32–12:33] Yeah.
[12:33–12:34] That's my fear as a bull.
[12:34–12:38] No I think he hasn't if he hasn't done that in the standout like she said.
[12:38–12:41] It's just that you can't stop thinking right before like it's just.
[12:41–12:44] I don't know.
[12:44–12:47] I think he might just have nice your guck and me confused by like just you being part
[12:47–12:48] of my front before.
[12:48–12:49] Yeah.
[12:49–12:50] Because he felt that feeling before.
[12:50–12:51] Yeah.
[12:51–12:57] And then you're like oh I didn't know at the time so maybe like it is happened again.
[12:57–13:04] I think you might just have to maybe start to relearn how to trust him maybe.
[13:04–13:05] Yeah.
[13:05–13:08] And even talk to him about it just be like look it's not going to be as easy like I
[13:08–13:12] still remember that and like I need you to maybe communicate with you more and I
[13:12–13:13] tell you that's what I need from you.
[13:13–13:14] Give me the peace of mind.
[13:14–13:16] I think anyone who's in that position would be like.
[13:16–13:17] They don't understand.
[13:17–13:18] Yeah.
[13:18–13:21] I understand because like what I don't do like that you'd feel this way like I'll do
[13:21–13:22] that and to make you trust me again.
[13:22–13:23] Yeah.
[13:23–13:28] I think it's one of those but I think I wouldn't assume the worst and I wouldn't if you
[13:28–13:29] can investigate.
[13:29–13:30] Do.
[13:30–13:33] But I'll see my go down and rebel how I look like.
[13:33–13:34] Yeah.
[13:34–13:35] Yeah.
[13:36–13:40] You look for something that you want to believe is true when it might not even meet you
[13:40–13:41] know what I mean.
[13:41–13:42] Exactly.
[13:42–13:43] Exactly.
[13:43–13:44] Next one is hi girls.
[13:44–13:46] First day I want to say thank you so much for doing this podcast.
[13:46–13:50] I come from into words him which is helping me in a re-directime and you've really opened
[13:50–13:51] yourself up.
[13:51–13:53] I was so relatable to so many girls out there.
[13:53–13:55] Oh I've been single now for five and a half years.
[13:55–13:56] Five and a half months.
[13:56–13:59] And to say I've been a rebel to have several emotions is an understatement.
[13:59–14:03] It was at my ex for almost three years and I came home from a night out one night and
[14:03–14:07] he ended things that me whilst I was drunk and said he hadn't loved me for months and
[14:07–14:10] since I haven't heard one word from Jesus Christ.
[14:10–14:13] Feel the way you end things is very calculated and almost a bit evil with some of the things
[14:13–14:14] he said to me.
[14:14–14:18] However someone should end and towards him as I feel the way his moment and sister got
[14:18–14:22] involved in a breakup saying he wasn't happy for months and I really affected his mental
[14:22–14:23] health.
[14:23–14:25] I should just let him go.
[14:25–14:27] It really got to me and I'm constantly thinking about it.
[14:27–14:30] I know I would have wanted to say in a relationship where he wasn't happy but I can't stop thinking
[14:30–14:34] about the what ifs because I genuinely saw myself spend the rest of my life with him.
[14:34–14:37] He was back on Tinder today after we split and this genuinely broke me.
[14:37–14:39] As I said I've not heard one thing from him since we split and I feel he's getting
[14:39–14:43] on with his life cope and just fine where I struggled and see how I was going to get
[14:43–14:45] to the next day and nevermind now.
[14:45–14:46] But I got here.
[14:46–14:47] Woohoo!
[14:47–14:50] As for it a couple months I had started seeing this other boy seven years older and had a
[14:50–14:51] child.
[14:51–14:55] I knew in the back of my head it wouldn't work as he had his child a lot and there wasn't
[14:55–14:56] a lot of time made for us.
[14:56–15:00] I saw past this for a bit and things were going well.
[15:00–15:02] I had a go feeling one night when I went out with my friend and ended up seeing him with
[15:02–15:03] another girl.
[15:03–15:07] Like I've run into him and he never even replied to me to the message which resulted in
[15:07–15:11] me blocking him even though I don't even see him a few months.
[15:11–15:14] I really think the sense of my confidence.
[15:14–15:19] I have a few good friends who are all in relationships and I feel I may be born and
[15:19–15:20] we talk and how I feel.
[15:20–15:23] I do feel like I am almost damaged with the way I have been treated and I'm always
[15:23–15:26] known for this being a strong friend who everyone goes to for advice.
[15:26–15:29] However I'm feeling super isolated and go to bed most nights very early and try to
[15:29–15:33] sleep early so I'm not most of the night all full of sat and all around which I feel
[15:33–15:34] I'm going to do.
[15:34–15:38] A few boys are trying to speak into me and I'm trying but I feel I'm terrified to let
[15:38–15:43] my guard down because something serious become the guard down because something serious
[15:43–15:46] with anyone doing the past things that have happened to me, the possible heartbreak that
[15:46–15:47] comes along with it.
[15:47–15:50] Any advice I really appreciate, thank you girls for everything you do for us and your
[15:50–15:51] podcast family.
[15:51–15:52] You're so cute.
[15:52–15:53] I love you.
[15:53–16:01] It's hard when you have been hurt to ever see yourself letting your guard down and you
[16:01–16:02] will.
[16:02–16:03] You will.
[16:03–16:05] You'll get there and tell me you will.
[16:05–16:07] How do you think?
[16:07–16:12] Do you think it just happens that you kind of let down or do you think it needs to be
[16:12–16:13] someone nice to make you let down?
[16:13–16:17] No, I think it just happens and one day you'll catch yourself being like, oh my god.
[16:17–16:18] Certified?
[16:18–16:27] I remember going through days of being like, like, cooking it out of the bed or like I
[16:27–16:31] remember driving in the car and sobbing in the car being like, I'm never going to get
[16:31–16:32] over this pain.
[16:32–16:33] I, yeah.
[16:33–16:36] And it was only in the car and the way it was to drive that way.
[16:36–16:40] I think it was only in the car and the way today over when I was coming to lecture you.
[16:40–16:42] I was like, you silly bitch.
[16:42–16:44] No, but you have to go through that.
[16:44–16:47] Yeah, but think of back to being like, I can't believe I was in that mind frame thinking
[16:47–16:50] I, I never, ever going to get better.
[16:50–16:52] Yeah, I'd never get past this point.
[16:52–16:56] Like you really do think it is the end of the world when you're in that headspace.
[16:56–17:02] I'm coming from where I'm looking at it or coming from the place where I'm at now.
[17:02–17:03] Mm hmm.
[17:03–17:04] Nightingale.
[17:04–17:05] Bitch, we thriving.
[17:05–17:06] Mm hmm.
[17:06–17:07] All good.
[17:07–17:08] Yeah.
[17:08–17:09] And you will, you do.
[17:09–17:10] You get past it.
[17:10–17:11] Yeah.
[17:11–17:13] But you will hold onto some of those trust issues and stuff.
[17:13–17:16] Like if you have, like I know you think, don't ever call yourself damaged.
[17:16–17:17] You're not damaged.
[17:17–17:21] And also not always the bad thing, like obviously trust issues aren't great, but like it's
[17:21–17:23] good to not be naive to things as well.
[17:23–17:24] Yeah.
[17:24–17:27] Like you're dead wide to things and like you know the Warren and signs, like that's good.
[17:27–17:30] You get some good things out of bad experiences as well.
[17:30–17:33] Oh, you like lessons, lessons, 100% yes.
[17:33–17:36] And as well, it's like, do you ever get when you're cold, you kind of have to imagine
[17:36–17:37] feeling warm again.
[17:37–17:38] Yeah.
[17:38–17:39] When you're hot.
[17:39–17:40] It's like that.
[17:40–17:41] When you're sad, you kind of imagine feeling hot.
[17:41–17:42] You got to call that an analogy.
[17:42–17:43] An analogy.
[17:43–17:44] Yeah.
[17:44–17:45] Yeah.
[17:45–17:47] So you will feel cold again or hot, whichever one is.
[17:47–17:54] And I think I had a few bad experiences now, not in major, but like when I got single
[17:54–17:57] years, I got 20 or something.
[17:57–18:00] There was a few times around when I was just talking to an over, but like.
[18:00–18:03] You just have to go through shit of it.
[18:03–18:08] It's not always going to be the best person for you to come along.
[18:08–18:11] And you're like, oh, why am I getting all that things?
[18:11–18:15] But you're also learning from them and it's getting closer to the person that is actually mentally.
[18:15–18:17] It'll teach you things about yourself.
[18:17–18:18] Go to fucking frogs.
[18:18–18:26] Not only about yourself, but also about how you want to be treated and what you'll put up with and what you want in a person.
[18:26–18:27] Yeah, exactly.
[18:27–18:32] So I think just taking time alone for a bit.
[18:32–18:33] Yeah.
[18:33–18:36] And not only five and a half months, that's not a long time.
[18:36–18:37] No, yeah.
[18:37–18:42] And like try even going to things that aren't serious, maybe they're not looking for something from.
[18:42–18:44] Like casual day and things like that.
[18:44–18:45] I can't do that.
[18:45–18:46] Tinder.
[18:46–18:48] People can't Tinder.
[18:48–18:49] Yeah.
[18:49–18:51] But also him going to Tinder.
[18:51–18:53] Like that's what you think to do.
[18:53–18:57] It doesn't mean you didn't know if it's just they act so fucking weird after they break up.
[18:57–19:02] Don't they say that it hits boys so much more after the girl is healed?
[19:02–19:05] The second you're over, it's like, yeah, yeah, they're like, miss you.
[19:05–19:07] Yeah, all the time.
[19:07–19:11] Every man crawls back in one way or another.
[19:11–19:14] So, you know what I mean?
[19:14–19:18] I think don't rush yourself on the walls coming down.
[19:18–19:20] It's not going to be something you can click your fingers when you can.
[19:20–19:21] Yeah.
[19:21–19:23] I know I was like, terrible.
[19:23–19:24] I just go to the other side.
[19:24–19:27] And I feel like people think it's silly to go for therapy for problems like that.
[19:27–19:28] What's not?
[19:28–19:29] No.
[19:29–19:30] Not only for like, to be honest, I don't know.
[19:30–19:33] It's like anything you're sad about or like stroking on with.
[19:33–19:34] As well.
[19:34–19:35] We love you.
[19:35–19:36] We love you.
[19:36–19:38] And you're running a kid with an update.
[19:38–19:39] Manifest it in a few months.
[19:39–19:41] And you're going to be.
[19:41–19:42] Try that.
[19:42–19:43] Yeah.
[19:43–19:44] And that'll be down.
[19:44–19:45] Yes.
[19:45–19:46] Hi, girls.
[19:46–19:47] I've been single for a while.
[19:47–19:50] I've had situations that I've never slept off my feet.
[19:50–19:53] I've really been longing for the perfect girl man story for a year or so now.
[19:53–19:56] I feel like I've completed the healing stage.
[19:56–19:59] I feel like I've completed the healing stage.
[19:59–20:00] And everyone around me is wiped.
[20:00–20:02] And I'm still here waiting for Mr. Wright.
[20:02–20:03] I find it pretty hard to catch feelings.
[20:03–20:07] I love being loved by boys more than loving them, my friends say.
[20:07–20:10] I went to the medium and she said a lot of stuff that was scary.
[20:10–20:14] But what makes me believe what she said about my future is that she said I'll meet someone
[20:14–20:16] in work by the end of October 2022.
[20:16–20:21] And if a red car had any meaning to me, I said no, so she said that it may be have something
[20:21–20:22] to do in my future.
[20:22–20:27] This didn't make any sense as I work with no one my age in a more stereotypically female-best
[20:27–20:28] based job and I don't drive.
[20:28–20:31] So my October came to close as a bit of a certain.
[20:31–20:32] We'll come back to this.
[20:32–20:35] However, I'm dating a boy and have been for three or so months.
[20:35–20:39] We've been friends through mutuals all through uni as we are from the same place.
[20:39–20:42] And but also went to the same city for uni.
[20:42–20:43] She was being English.
[20:43–20:44] uni?
[20:44–20:45] Yeah.
[20:45–20:46] I was a colleague at university.
[20:46–20:47] Are you an English bird?
[20:47–20:48] Yay!
[20:48–20:51] It moved quite slowly as we've always heard it and so I've never really talked.
[20:51–20:53] It's too serious to see when he texted me.
[20:53–20:54] It's coming from Northern Ireland.
[20:54–20:55] Oh yeah, to those days, I think.
[20:55–20:59] Until recently, I think I talked to Hint.
[20:59–21:01] We both graduated and are now at home.
[21:01–21:04] We've worked full-time so it's hard to match our schedules to find more than one a day
[21:04–21:05] week to see each other.
[21:05–21:09] We got on a lot however he's an amazing guy but I don't care for butterflies.
[21:10–21:14] I think this is due to being friends before dating and I was moving so slowly.
[21:14–21:17] We haven't taken this the next stage yet if you get what I mean.
[21:17–21:21] For now, we've not had an entire amount of life in our family homes and we haven't had the opportunity to.
[21:21–21:25] What has made it hard for me to mentally take this seriously?
[21:25–21:27] It takes all the boxes by a one red flag.
[21:27–21:32] He's never had a girlfriend where I was in a long time relation for four years when I was pretty young until my first year in uni.
[21:32–21:38] I've never fully liked anyone since him and I only started to fully get out of it even though I was the only one who ended three years ago.
[21:38–21:43] I'm ready to settle down again and worry if he's the right guy and am I just having commitment issues again?
[21:43–21:45] This is where the PT comes into things.
[21:45–21:48] I try and try to speak or more with my sister's friend.
[21:48–21:51] I've known her for years but not super personally.
[21:51–21:53] You've gotten really close from him training me.
[21:53–21:57] I started with him when he had a girlfriend so we've just been completely photonic but gone super well.
[21:57–22:02] I did find myself thinking what a great guy, especially how he treated and spoke with a girlfriend.
[22:02–22:05] Never taught much other and put it back in my mind.
[22:05–22:09] It never opened up and I have been for a couple months and I felt a shift was starting more.
[22:09–22:11] I take it as just a friendly banter.
[22:11–22:14] We sometimes chat about stuff non-gamerated and text but not a lot.
[22:14–22:17] He usually drops you back from sessions as you don't drive at the moment.
[22:17–22:23] We always have really good chats sometimes getting deep into the point where we're sitting inside my house, finishing them for a while after parking up.
[22:23–22:26] I could feel myself getting butterflies when I get into the house sometimes.
[22:26–22:29] Oh, I've no idea why I'm feeling like this as we're just pals.
[22:29–22:32] I'm really bad at reading guys so I can never read in someone like me.
[22:32–22:35] I've never no idea what to do as we're just friends and I love trying to win.
[22:35–22:38] This is where the medium comes in when she said I need someone at work.
[22:38–22:42] Stacking it's his work and his relationship ended in October when I began.
[22:42–22:45] When I fell to begone flirting and his car has read detailing.
[22:45–22:47] I don't know if this is a stretcher of its connected.
[22:47–22:52] My head says keep dating the boy from you and he put half of me as like I wish my p2 would make a move.
[22:52–22:54] Wow!
[22:54–22:56] That she is me.
[22:56–22:58] Well, at least I'm a pick too was.
[22:58–22:59] Yeah, that's true.
[22:59–23:02] She is me with the making the psych of me.
[23:02–23:04] It could be any.
[23:04–23:05] I would be like that like it's a sign.
[23:05–23:07] Yeah, the most general thing ever.
[23:07–23:09] Well, I mean it's not fair.
[23:09–23:13] I suppose it is his job with his relationship ending in October, it doesn't really fit.
[23:13–23:15] I don't have it with him.
[23:15–23:17] Oh God.
[23:17–23:23] Apparently there's a quote that says that like real love isn't the one that gives you butterflies.
[23:23–23:24] Really?
[23:24–23:26] Yeah, let me try finding them now.
[23:26–23:31] Quote about real love not giving.
[23:31–23:34] I always get my girl that's hurt so funny.
[23:34–23:39] Oh, love isn't having butterflies all the time.
[23:39–23:41] I think love is calm, love is comfortable.
[23:41–23:45] I got certain signs that you rest your lives and would mean more than a thousand words or anyone else.
[23:45–23:46] That's adorable.
[23:46–23:47] Isn't it?
[23:47–23:48] Aww.
[23:48–23:50] So maybe it is the fella from you honey.
[23:50–23:51] Yeah.
[23:51–23:53] Because she just calm around them.
[23:53–23:57] Yeah, I think it's just someone who feel like content to it.
[23:57–24:00] A gym man could just be like sexual tension or like.
[24:00–24:02] Yes, exactly.
[24:02–24:03] Yeah.
[24:03–24:07] So what did she do?
[24:07–24:11] What did she fall for the gym man after the gym?
[24:11–24:14] Maybe the young guy isn't doing it for you either.
[24:14–24:16] Maybe it was me or I'm really mean.
[24:16–24:18] Yeah, I don't think an S-Hide means.
[24:18–24:22] So when you have butterflies with it isn't someone like that you're going to be with forever.
[24:22–24:26] I wouldn't look at him as like the person who's like it goes 10 to the U.S.
[24:26–24:31] But I think I think I'll say, well if you really love the first person you wouldn't fall in love with another person.
[24:31–24:33] Yeah, you wouldn't fall in love with the second person.
[24:33–24:36] So you never really love the first if you fell in love with the second person.
[24:36–24:37] Yeah.
[24:37–24:40] I think that you probably have had your feelings for yourself.
[24:40–24:41] I don't think so.
[24:41–24:42] Gym man.
[24:42–24:43] Yeah.
[24:43–24:45] I don't think you can like someone on one side.
[24:45–24:46] Watch me.
[24:46–24:47] I don't think that's possible to like you.
[24:47–24:48] You said that like that.
[24:48–24:49] Or I was like, what?
[24:49–24:50] Maybe they'll just like.
[24:50–24:51] Yeah.
[24:51–24:53] At least just look at the other person.
[24:53–24:54] No, I'm messing.
[24:54–24:59] But I don't think you get 10 vibes unless they reciprocate.
[24:59–25:01] Yeah, I don't see that.
[25:01–25:02] Do you know?
[25:02–25:05] Obviously you can fancy someone on the camera.
[25:05–25:09] I think like someone you don't have to like you back.
[25:09–25:10] You get 5.
[25:10–25:11] Yeah, definitely.
[25:11–25:12] Yeah.
[25:12–25:16] Would you go if you had decisions to make, would you go with your hair or your hair?
[25:16–25:17] I'll fly off.
[25:17–25:18] Come on.
[25:18–25:19] What?
[25:19–25:20] Your hair?
[25:20–25:21] Her hair.
[25:21–25:22] I don't know.
[25:22–25:23] How about you?
[25:23–25:24] What did I say to her?
[25:24–25:25] I don't know.
[25:25–25:26] Make it.
[25:26–25:27] I go, we go in mixed probably.
[25:27–25:28] You listen to it.
[25:28–25:31] Your hair is good for some things and your hair is good for others.
[25:31–25:34] I don't think it's a choice between one or two of them.
[25:34–25:35] Yeah.
[25:35–25:37] They've definitely conflicted each other.
[25:37–25:38] Yeah.
[25:38–25:39] I don't know.
[25:39–25:44] I think you just like the unique guy as a person that I don't think you actually really like
[25:44–25:45] him.
[25:45–25:46] She's mean.
[25:46–25:47] Yeah.
[25:47–25:49] They haven't even had sex here.
[25:49–25:50] Yeah, true.
[25:50–25:54] And I feel like you used to obviously do stuff in the way and she was saying time and then
[25:54–25:55] match up to do with that.
[25:55–26:01] I feel like if you were really like someone you're seeing them for ages it would be kind
[26:01–26:03] of like yeah you probably would make time.
[26:03–26:04] Can you do both?
[26:04–26:07] I was gonna say, can you see the both?
[26:07–26:09] Yeah, if it's just casual date.
[26:09–26:12] And as long as no one's being led astray.
[26:12–26:16] Yeah, if you're not leading anyone on and like everything is honest and whatever else
[26:16–26:19] one problem, how would you make a move with P team?
[26:19–26:25] If she were her, if you don't know if he's fern back.
[26:25–26:29] She's the text where things non-germ related but not all the time.
[26:29–26:30] Yeah.
[26:30–26:33] So I was like, what am I going to lie down and see if he's ever something like that?
[26:33–26:34] Yeah.
[26:34–26:35] You will.
[26:35–26:36] Don't do that.
[26:36–26:41] I'm gonna send him like a healthy man but like we should go here.
[26:41–26:42] Like a healthy breakfast.
[26:42–26:43] Oh yeah, this looks lovely.
[26:43–26:44] Breakfast.
[26:44–26:45] I love a breakfast there.
[26:45–26:50] Yeah, say you could be like, should pop up here after trying like because that if he doesn't
[26:50–26:53] see us and it's just a friend like he'd still, he wouldn't find it weird I feel.
[26:53–26:55] But he might be thinking what you're thinking as well.
[26:55–26:56] Yeah, exactly.
[26:56–26:57] So can only win really.
[26:57–26:58] The breakfast one is a good one.
[26:58–27:00] Breakfast date with P team.
[27:00–27:07] Yeah, we should go here after yeah, I would you fancy on here or something yeah, but a protein pancakes
[27:08–27:09] Yeah
[27:09–27:11] With some sausage on
[27:16–27:19] Yeah, I think happy gods yeah, yeah
[27:19–27:21] I
[27:21–27:24] Think play by air with you any man because you don't sound lovely. You don't sound like it
[27:24–27:29] The time and isn't working for you, but you also can't rush things that are gonna be good either
[27:29–27:32] So you don't mean yeah, you do have to take them slow too, so I
[27:33–27:37] Think if you can keep your options open and
[27:37–27:42] Yeah, see what way you're swayed more like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
[27:43–27:48] You'll know yourself. Yeah, so you can send your lemons into home I drink I go there now calm
[27:48–27:52] Which is our email address. It's all obviously anonymous and there's new episodes out of home
[27:52–27:55] We drink extra juice every one day and our main episodes are at Wednesday
[27:55–27:59] Thanks against primary response in episodes. We'll see you on Wednesday
[28:02–28:06] Subscribe to this podcast for free on the go light up