EXTRA JUICE: "I might break my own heart if I continue to speak to him until I leave..." #89
Hold My Drink
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Transcript
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Hold my drink, Extrude Juice, with Charlene and Ellie.
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I go-lied original podcast, proudly sponsored by pennies.
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Get this season's must-haves in a store near you.
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Welcome to How More Drinking Extrude Juice, which is currently sponsored by Primerker pennies.
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It is the ultimate high-speed destination for all of your needs.
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Whether you're looking to reset and refresh your wardrobe this winter,
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you're looking to sparkle up your outfits for the festive season.
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Whatever the occasion, large or small, they really do have it all.
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I love to have that right.
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I know, it's really fantastic.
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I'm denimed to classic trench coats,
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trend and maxi skirts to flattering jumpsuits.
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pennies, no hero pieces have your winter style covered.
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I just feel like I'm a home-enemun pennies.
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I just can't wait to get on my jumps.
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I was there last night, I got two pairs to do.
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I got like cozy fleece.
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You're a lovely fleece for a lovely dream.
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My parents got colds at the time.
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I'm knocking that heat on all night.
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No, no, no.
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Made of money.
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No, yeah.
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Head to your local store or logon to primerker.com for a tasha.
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I each check out other winter pieces and see what's in your local store with a new stockfinder.
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This is our bonus episode where we get to answer even more of your dilemmas.
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And for a cell we have an update.
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We ask for updates of how your life is going since before dilemmas and after dilemmas.
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Be easy and easy.
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Be easy and easy.
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Yeah, yeah.
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So, I never understand what that means in before christ and after christ.
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So, I think in too much will I get my confused.
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You see, before christ and after death, 80.
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Oh, so after dilemmas is the same cinnamon.
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I saw that he was asking just god have a ma.
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And then my mind just was really sore and I said stop talking.
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Oh god, just god, just god.
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Yeah, but who, did you know what I mean?
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No one made him, he just, they're out of my name.
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He just said no.
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No, he's before out of my name.
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Ah, he's not.
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He made out of my name.
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I know.
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And don't get it.
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I think I'm starting red space at nighttime when we're not asleep.
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Yeah, just.
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You know what I find myself thinking of and this will show you how little hair both clothes
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I wear.
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When I got to bed at night to make myself all asleep, I think it outfits and then I fall asleep.
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Yeah.
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I'm thinking like why are you wearing one?
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Why do you think that makes you bored?
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Yeah.
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And then I'm like, god, yeah.
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I can get really overwhelmed, like putting things together in my mind and then I'm just like,
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I use what I do that as well.
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Or I used to count literally count cheap, like I used to count.
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You said that in the podcast.
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Yeah.
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That's weird as well.
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I know.
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I was starting to stop listening to Rain Noise.
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I did listen to the podcast last few nights.
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I felt too tired to even need something.
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I haven't had anything on and I've just been gone so I was tired after that thing with
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a new stay.
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What should we do this?
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I'm tired on the work.
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Oh yeah.
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Yeah.
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This time of year, it's tired time.
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It is.
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Anyway, back to the update.
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We have this update from a listener that wrote in, so it says, hey birds, my dilemma was
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read out a couple of weeks ago and I just want to say thank you.
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Oh my god, yes.
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My dilemma was about my younger brother lashing out and not being himself.
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I remember this.
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I felt helpless and didn't know where to go or what to do.
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I took her advice and I spoke to him.
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Well, night in the kitchen, the tubers had a heart to heart.
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And the kitchen and he broke down.
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It tore me apart to see him so upset, but it was the beginning.
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He finally opened up and explained how he'd been feeling for the last couple months in silence.
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We're a couple weeks in now and the changes in him are slow, but they're there.
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My family, his friends and all the people around him are supporting him and trying to guide
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him through this really difficult part of his life.
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I just want to say thank you, but also to highlight that even if someone seems okay,
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they might not be.
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Man to hell is so unpredictable.
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Someone close to who could be suffering silence for months and just not say anything.
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I'm beyond grateful that I was able to connect with him at this stage of his journey,
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but I want to scream from the rooftops how important it is that we all begin to continue
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to make noise about an advocate for mental health awareness.
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If not for ourselves and people in our lives who can't do it for themselves, love you
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millions.
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That is such a lovely message.
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That's so nice.
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I'd say he just felt such a sense of relief.
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Like, let all that go.
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Yeah.
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I remember I think we just said we were like, why don't you eat your text or sit down
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and be like, what's so pretty?
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Yeah, what's going on?
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More often than that, if you actually ask someone how they are and how are you actually
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open up.
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Yeah.
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And I was so glad he did.
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That's so true.
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And like exactly if she said, they obviously thought that he was just lashing out for
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no reason, but it was reasons behind.
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Yeah, it was only reasons behind.
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100%.
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And at least the changes are there.
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They're slow, but they're there.
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You can ask for a look.
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Yeah.
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And I just, like she said, keep the conversation open and talking about it.
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And that's what you can do.
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I think the more chocolate, like even as I've gotten older, like it's more normalised
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to talk about it.
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It is, Jeff.
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We're our generation.
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It's like it wears, you wouldn't have backed in.
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It's just that normal.
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It's like a taboo, isn't it?
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So they just say that about like men going to juxtapose and all.
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Like, yeah.
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People are still like embarrassed about mental, but like it's like you're breaking
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your leg.
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You got it.
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Yeah.
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Like it's okay to tell people.
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Yeah.
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And that's a great lovely message.
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That's my favourite update, I think.
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I'm so glad you're in a better place now.
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Yeah.
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And he's on the road.
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And he sounds like he has such good people around him as well, which is amazing for
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Yeah.
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So all these dilemmas have been sent in to our email address, which is home I drink
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at goleadnow.com.
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This is the only way we take into the limits for this segment and not two DMs and they're always
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anonymous.
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We have the post clips of the dilemmas on our Instagram, which is home I drink pods.
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And our TikTok, so you can give your feelings and advice in the comments.
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I'm just kind of give us more opinions that we haven't heard yet.
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So I'm to few dilemmas.
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So the first dilemma is high birds.
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I just want to say I love your podcast.
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I followed you both these past few years on Instagram and I'd love your advice.
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I've been with my now ex for almost 12 years.
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Basically he started a new job and I started seeing differences in him since making new friends
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in his job.
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He never told me he never told me he was in a relationship and he always let me go.
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Sorry, I ain't got my ideas and always left me to go out to them.
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Okay.
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He was saying that basically we weren't really together for a long time.
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Yeah, I got the wrong impression going on holidays, sleeping in the same bed, going on
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dates and family days.
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Before he dumped me, I noticed that he changed his phone code.
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Never took family photos only himself, only myself and child on his socials.
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We still live together until I find a new place to live for me and our child.
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My head is crazy thinking what else did he lie?
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What else has he lied and why has he done while with me?
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My question is how do I stop loving him and heal my heart?
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I feel like this is breaking me.
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Lots of love.
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Her broken bird.
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I'm confused.
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So she had been more ex-revesing us together.
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They were together 12 years.
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Another broken up, but they're still living together.
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Yeah.
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He started a new job.
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Yeah.
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He never told me he was in a relationship and always left.
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Oh, he's left me to go out to the people he worked with.
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Sorry, yes, yes, yes.
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Wow, he's saying that basically we weren't really together for a long time.
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Why, you're on a wheel of 12 years.
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Yeah, I'm talking to you.
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What?
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He said that the Saturday 12 years everybody's saying no.
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And that she got the wrong impression gone and had less even the same man gone on dates
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and family days out.
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So they've a child's.
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It's giving her an asses.
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Yeah.
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Man will literally do everything in a relationship and then tell you like, oh, I don't
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want that.
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Yeah.
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What do you mean?
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Yeah.
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I don't get it.
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Why you could be literally 12 years in there still 10 years now.
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Yeah.
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You don't want to raise it.
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And I give you everything of like.
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He gave her everything of wife, but then said like, no, it wasn't really that evening.
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Like like mother of his child.
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I know.
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I know living together.
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Halleys.
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At least she has.
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Well, sorry, he dumped her.
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Do you think there was something going on with the job?
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Maybe.
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Because it was like a say on a sheet or he started that.
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Yeah.
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Sometimes I feel like it opens.
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It turns people into who they really are.
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Don't get ever changed or someone.
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Well, a job.
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Yeah, I don't think what I think it just.
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I don't know everything.
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Like, oh, if you never started that job, like that part of him would have came out either
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Eventually.
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Yeah.
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Like it's in.
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Yeah.
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Do you know what I mean?
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I always do.
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Yeah.
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But I think him walking away as much as I feel helpful now.
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Like it's probably the best thing for you.
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Yeah.
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A blessing.
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And you won't see that until.
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Is it a blessing in disguise or a blessing in the skies?
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Oh, disguise.
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It's disguise.
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Yeah.
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We're telling the story.
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I've seen the way.
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Blessing in the skies.
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Yeah.
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Or there's another one I talked about on the podcast, a suit mess.
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Yeah.
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I threw.
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Oh, a dream.
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from through.
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So what?
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What now?
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It's disguise, isn't it?
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Yeah, it's disguise.
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It's just like disguise.
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And that also kind of, yeah, a blessing to the sky.
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Makes the sky.
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Yeah, my sense, yeah.
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That's so funny.
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Sorry.
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I think that would be, like, you want someone who's proud of you and proud to be you, and that's
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going to condition your mind for the last 12 years to think like you're not good enough
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and that's probably why you haven't walked away because you're so, you're certainly
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going to leave it if someone treats it like you're not good enough.
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That's how, if you, if you stay, then you will just serve to believe what they're, like,
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poor, right?
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Yeah.
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That they're not.
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You're falling to what they're saying, like, yeah, and like, you'll just, that will just
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be the norm for you.
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If you were treated nice, you know, you probably would go, what the fuck's going on?
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But 12 years.
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That's so long, you know, how I am, what time?
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I know.
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I think trying to take a home up on what he's done.
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And a lot of us in 24 years.
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No, like imagine.
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Oh, yeah, no, no, I know.
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I know he's that 12 is still, yeah, absolutely shit.
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[604.0s – 609.0s]
Like, yeah, he needs to put yourself and your child for us now.
▶ Play
[609.0s – 613.0s]
And like, don't, don't get caught up in him and what he's lighting about and
▶ Play
[613.0s – 617.0s]
while he's doing and stuff like, yeah, it's, you're not going to, he's not going to tell you.
▶ Play
[617.0s – 622.0s]
And you're never going to find out, like, just trying a piece with that and focus on
▶ Play
[622.0s – 623.0s]
yourself more.
▶ Play
[624.0s – 627.0s]
And I can't imagine how hard that is to live with him.
▶ Play
[627.0s – 628.0s]
I don't know.
▶ Play
[628.0s – 636.0s]
I can't even do that like, it's insane being a, but I think you'll never stop loving him.
▶ Play
[636.0s – 639.0s]
I know he's a question of how to stop loving him, but if he's there, I kind of
▶ Play
[639.0s – 642.0s]
realise that to love yourself more.
▶ Play
[642.0s – 644.0s]
That's a lovely way of, but yeah.
▶ Play
[644.0s – 648.0s]
And like, you deserve better and you deserve nice things and a nice person.
▶ Play
[648.0s – 649.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[649.0s – 651.0s]
And someone just makes you question stuff like, you're obviously going on as well.
▶ Play
[651.0s – 654.0s]
And his phone was cold of change.
▶ Play
[655.0s – 657.0s]
Like, that's draining.
▶ Play
[657.0s – 658.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[658.0s – 662.0s]
To live like that would is when we drain mint, mintly, mentally, physically, like you
▶ Play
[662.0s – 666.0s]
need to be the best person for yourself and for your child.
▶ Play
[666.0s – 668.0s]
I forget about him kind of thing.
▶ Play
[668.0s – 669.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[669.0s – 673.0s]
You put all your energy into him and trying to change his mind or trying to do any of that.
▶ Play
[673.0s – 677.0s]
He's already made his decision like, yeah, he's made his birds.
▶ Play
[677.0s – 678.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[678.0s – 679.0s]
Let him line it.
▶ Play
[679.0s – 683.0s]
And that all that energy you have for him into you and you'll actually see such a different
▶ Play
[683.0s – 684.0s]
and like time as well.
▶ Play
[684.0s – 685.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[685.0s – 688.0s]
Is the biggest heater as, but it's someone on people give that a fine.
▶ Play
[688.0s – 690.0s]
He wants to paint the whole because you want to see the whole.
▶ Play
[690.0s – 692.0s]
No, it's just an, I'll never be okay again.
▶ Play
[692.0s – 695.0s]
I've ever so much how many I listen to my first outbreak.
▶ Play
[695.0s – 696.0s]
I was like, they're a liturant.
▶ Play
[696.0s – 698.0s]
I'm going to be sad for the press for the rest of my life.
▶ Play
[698.0s – 701.0s]
I honestly thought I was going to say everyone's lines to me.
▶ Play
[701.0s – 702.0s]
All of them.
▶ Play
[702.0s – 704.0s]
All of them say what I'm saying about it.
▶ Play
[704.0s – 705.0s]
It is.
▶ Play
[705.0s – 708.0s]
We'll know you wake up when you're like, well, and then you start to unravel the whole thing.
▶ Play
[708.0s – 710.0s]
It'll be like, well, it actually wasn't that good.
▶ Play
[710.0s – 711.0s]
I was looking through rose colored.
▶ Play
[711.0s – 712.0s]
Glass.
▶ Play
[712.0s – 713.0s]
That was interesting.
▶ Play
[713.0s – 714.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[714.0s – 715.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[715.0s – 716.0s]
I love you, hair broken birds.
▶ Play
[716.0s – 717.0s]
I love you, I love you.
▶ Play
[717.0s – 718.0s]
I hope you're okay.
▶ Play
[718.0s – 719.0s]
You will.
▶ Play
[719.0s – 721.0s]
Second is, hey bird.
▶ Play
[721.0s – 722.0s]
Love, love, love the podcast.
▶ Play
[722.0s – 723.0s]
So much.
▶ Play
[723.0s – 724.0s]
She's bright enough my boss's college.
▶ Play
[724.0s – 726.0s]
My boss's college every week.
▶ Play
[726.0s – 727.0s]
He's there again.
▶ Play
[727.0s – 728.0s]
You want me smashing it.
▶ Play
[728.0s – 729.0s]
I love you.
▶ Play
[729.0s – 732.0s]
This has been playing on my mind the last few weeks and I don't know what to do about it.
▶ Play
[732.0s – 737.0s]
I got my hair broken around six months ago and I told myself I would focus on me for the next while.
▶ Play
[737.0s – 738.0s]
I'm a little bit old.
▶ Play
[738.0s – 740.0s]
I end up meeting an angel boy.
▶ Play
[740.0s – 741.0s]
Very unexpectedly.
▶ Play
[741.0s – 742.0s]
We have the same humor.
▶ Play
[742.0s – 745.0s]
He makes me laugh so much and nearly weep myself and we're together.
▶ Play
[745.0s – 747.0s]
And he gets any money as a heart of gold.
▶ Play
[747.0s – 749.0s]
I feel like I'm known him my whole life.
▶ Play
[749.0s – 750.0s]
I've got to wish for him.
▶ Play
[750.0s – 751.0s]
I know.
▶ Play
[751.0s – 752.0s]
I'd like to know.
▶ Play
[752.0s – 753.0s]
No, no, no, what should I say?
▶ Play
[753.0s – 754.0s]
Anyway.
▶ Play
[754.0s – 755.0s]
I shouldn't say.
▶ Play
[755.0s – 757.0s]
We laugh so much together.
▶ Play
[757.0s – 761.0s]
I feel like I'm down on my whole life and start as not mysterious, but now I find myself
▶ Play
[761.0s – 763.0s]
feeling more than just friends.
▶ Play
[763.0s – 768.0s]
My dilemma is that I'm adding a final year onto my college degree to go and do a research
▶ Play
[768.0s – 771.0s]
project which would usually benefit my career in the future.
▶ Play
[771.0s – 774.0s]
But also means I'll be abroad for over a year, most likely somewhere in Asia.
▶ Play
[775.0s – 776.0s]
I have so much to do.
▶ Play
[776.0s – 777.0s]
I don't know what to do.
▶ Play
[777.0s – 781.0s]
It's my favorite person to be around and I really like him and I want to get to you and
▶ Play
[781.0s – 782.0s]
speak into him.
▶ Play
[782.0s – 785.0s]
But I also feel like I might break my own heart if I continue until I leave.
▶ Play
[785.0s – 788.0s]
I won't be leaving until I graduate this summer.
▶ Play
[788.0s – 791.0s]
I genuinely value both your opinions so so much.
▶ Play
[791.0s – 794.0s]
I don't want to lose an angel boy.
▶ Play
[794.0s – 797.0s]
I feel like we always say go and do the travel.
▶ Play
[797.0s – 800.0s]
Yeah, but I don't think they're shy.
▶ Play
[800.0s – 806.0s]
Yeah, I wouldn't put a stop to him, but just explain to him like it's my final year.
▶ Play
[806.0s – 810.0s]
That you really want to make it work and that he's willing to do.
▶ Play
[810.0s – 813.0s]
Yeah, I wouldn't have enough to do the travel.
▶ Play
[813.0s – 815.0s]
No, God no.
▶ Play
[815.0s – 818.0s]
In hopes of keeping him because you'll end up resenting him.
▶ Play
[818.0s – 819.0s]
You didn't do that.
▶ Play
[819.0s – 821.0s]
Imagine watching like your college friends, whatever over there.
▶ Play
[821.0s – 825.0s]
Like and I know it's college, so it's not just like a big priority, but yeah.
▶ Play
[825.0s – 829.0s]
Imagine watching them and being like, you know what, I stayed here for you.
▶ Play
[829.0s – 830.0s]
I really be pissed off one day.
▶ Play
[830.0s – 831.0s]
Yeah, be more mean.
▶ Play
[831.0s – 832.0s]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
▶ Play
[832.0s – 837.0s]
You'll resent him for not doing something that you always knew was a path and you're like,
▶ Play
[837.0s – 838.0s]
you know, you're kind of scared.
▶ Play
[838.0s – 843.0s]
Like you said, he came out one hour so you shouldn't put off your plans.
▶ Play
[843.0s – 844.0s]
Yeah, yeah.
▶ Play
[844.0s – 846.0s]
And also one you'll stay around.
▶ Play
[846.0s – 851.0s]
I know, when he sounds like he would like his have so what's in December.
▶ Play
[851.0s – 854.0s]
So after so many be going to have a good few months together.
▶ Play
[854.0s – 855.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[855.0s – 861.0s]
To perceive there's something solid and if by then these are still solid then I don't see why you can't do.
▶ Play
[861.0s – 862.0s]
I get your sounds long.
▶ Play
[862.0s – 863.0s]
It's not.
▶ Play
[863.0s – 867.0s]
But it's not and I think now because I do long distance I can just like I can imagine doing that.
▶ Play
[867.0s – 870.0s]
I don't know anymore, but like it's obviously not a God.
▶ Play
[870.0s – 871.0s]
It's not easy.
▶ Play
[871.0s – 874.0s]
But I'd say when you were if you were told all those years ago when you were down on like
▶ Play
[874.0s – 875.0s]
years or so.
▶ Play
[875.0s – 876.0s]
But I wait, yeah, some weeks.
▶ Play
[876.0s – 879.0s]
Yeah, it was so much back and forth and long distance and stuff.
▶ Play
[879.0s – 881.0s]
I think back then you would have been like fuck no.
▶ Play
[881.0s – 882.0s]
Yeah, can't live that.
▶ Play
[882.0s – 884.0s]
Yeah, but now when you're in it, it's different.
▶ Play
[884.0s – 885.0s]
Mm hmm.
▶ Play
[885.0s – 887.0s]
You have your routine and so here's no time.
▶ Play
[887.0s – 888.0s]
And if you want to, you can't.
▶ Play
[888.0s – 889.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[889.0s – 892.0s]
If we both try and make it work and have this time different sport, I actually followed a guy
▶ Play
[892.0s – 897.0s]
met him on hold is like years ago and he's girlfriend and he lives in.
▶ Play
[897.0s – 900.0s]
She was living Australia for a year and he was in England.
▶ Play
[900.0s – 901.0s]
What?
▶ Play
[901.0s – 903.0s]
And they don't long distance for the year and then they reunited and.
▶ Play
[903.0s – 904.0s]
Yeah, I don't know they were together.
▶ Play
[904.0s – 906.0s]
No, I don't know what it's just around.
▶ Play
[906.0s – 908.0s]
I don't like talk space, but I don't know how long they were together.
▶ Play
[908.0s – 910.0s]
We're done and it was long.
▶ Play
[910.0s – 912.0s]
And yeah, then they made it work.
▶ Play
[912.0s – 913.0s]
So it's possible.
▶ Play
[913.0s – 914.0s]
It is.
▶ Play
[914.0s – 915.0s]
I don't know you'll break your own heart.
▶ Play
[915.0s – 916.0s]
It'll be hard as fuck.
▶ Play
[916.0s – 917.0s]
Mm hmm.
▶ Play
[917.0s – 921.0s]
But I wouldn't say like if he's a really nice person, you click to it.
▶ Play
[921.0s – 922.0s]
I'm like, you I don't think just ditch him.
▶ Play
[922.0s – 924.0s]
If he was a fellow, you're like, ah, not about my brother.
▶ Play
[924.0s – 925.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[925.0s – 928.0s]
He'll ruin your experience, but like this sounds like.
▶ Play
[928.0s – 929.0s]
It's worth waiting for.
▶ Play
[929.0s – 930.0s]
Yeah, kind of thing.
▶ Play
[930.0s – 932.0s]
Yeah, I agree.
▶ Play
[932.0s – 934.0s]
The next one we have then is hi girls.
▶ Play
[934.0s – 935.0s]
I need some advice.
▶ Play
[935.0s – 937.0s]
I've been seeing this guy for about three months.
▶ Play
[937.0s – 941.0s]
Things are going well, but I don't want to be tied to a relationship yet.
▶ Play
[941.0s – 944.0s]
I only came out of a six year relationship with the start of the year.
▶ Play
[944.0s – 948.0s]
We hadn't spoken about what we are and he sent me a message saying he can't have a relationship
▶ Play
[948.0s – 952.0s]
and just wants to be friends with benefits.
▶ Play
[952.0s – 955.0s]
But he still wants to go on dates and just chill at my house.
▶ Play
[955.0s – 958.0s]
But with no sex.
▶ Play
[958.0s – 960.0s]
Is that not what friends are going for this?
▶ Play
[960.0s – 962.0s]
Can this possibly work?
▶ Play
[962.0s – 963.0s]
Is that I'm reading that right?
▶ Play
[963.0s – 965.0s]
FWB is friends of benefits, isn't it?
▶ Play
[965.0s – 966.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[966.0s – 970.0s]
He says he just wants to entertain anyone else and love bombs me like crazy.
▶ Play
[970.0s – 971.0s]
Please help.
▶ Play
[971.0s – 972.0s]
Love the podcast.
▶ Play
[972.0s – 974.0s]
So he wants to be your friend.
▶ Play
[974.0s – 976.0s]
He wants to be your pal.
▶ Play
[976.0s – 977.0s]
But go on dates.
▶ Play
[977.0s – 978.0s]
It seems guy.
▶ Play
[978.0s – 981.0s]
It seems like we're true.
▶ Play
[981.0s – 982.0s]
Oh no.
▶ Play
[982.0s – 984.0s]
It's not all friends of benefits.
▶ Play
[984.0s – 987.0s]
Is this just how you have you have you been having sex?
▶ Play
[987.0s – 990.0s]
I'm so confused.
▶ Play
[990.0s – 996.0s]
He can't have a relationship but he just wants to be friends with benefits.
▶ Play
[996.0s – 998.0s]
Friends benefits.
▶ Play
[998.0s – 1001.0s]
Maybe she went but with sex.
▶ Play
[1001.0s – 1002.0s]
No.
▶ Play
[1002.0s – 1006.0s]
She already said about the no end wax.
▶ Play
[1006.0s – 1008.0s]
Is that what you want?
▶ Play
[1008.0s – 1010.0s]
Like would you enjoy that?
▶ Play
[1010.0s – 1012.0s]
Maybe you want a boyfriend?
▶ Play
[1012.0s – 1013.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1013.0s – 1015.0s]
Maybe he's going to kiss.
▶ Play
[1015.0s – 1017.0s]
I'm like what's the line?
▶ Play
[1017.0s – 1019.0s]
Why does he not like?
▶ Play
[1019.0s – 1021.0s]
Maybe it's the same thing.
▶ Play
[1021.0s – 1023.0s]
He's just saying that.
▶ Play
[1023.0s – 1025.0s]
I'm going to go with him.
▶ Play
[1025.0s – 1027.0s]
We won't have sex.
▶ Play
[1027.0s – 1031.0s]
He just wants to make you think like he doesn't want that.
▶ Play
[1031.0s – 1032.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1032.0s – 1034.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1034.0s – 1036.0s]
Friends of benefits.
▶ Play
[1036.0s – 1038.0s]
I think it only works if you're really wrong on the same page.
▶ Play
[1038.0s – 1040.0s]
I think friends of benefits.
▶ Play
[1040.0s – 1041.0s]
Ever worked for me.
▶ Play
[1041.0s – 1044.0s]
I have never ever seen it work in any situation.
▶ Play
[1044.0s – 1046.0s]
It's too hard.
▶ Play
[1046.0s – 1047.0s]
In any.
▶ Play
[1047.0s – 1049.0s]
Someone will always catch feelings.
▶ Play
[1049.0s – 1050.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1050.0s – 1051.0s]
It doesn't work.
▶ Play
[1051.0s – 1054.0s]
It's just messy.
▶ Play
[1054.0s – 1055.0s]
Really?
▶ Play
[1055.0s – 1058.0s]
He's either either end up together or not friends at all.
▶ Play
[1058.0s – 1059.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1059.0s – 1060.0s]
I know.
▶ Play
[1060.0s – 1062.0s]
So there's only two ways.
▶ Play
[1062.0s – 1064.0s]
I think it just stays at work your time.
▶ Play
[1064.0s – 1065.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1065.0s – 1066.0s]
Is that what you want?
▶ Play
[1066.0s – 1067.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1067.0s – 1068.0s]
Why are you doing it for the show?
▶ Play
[1068.0s – 1069.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1069.0s – 1070.0s]
What is it?
▶ Play
[1070.0s – 1071.0s]
It's not a show.
▶ Play
[1071.0s – 1073.0s]
I think it's just a show.
▶ Play
[1073.0s – 1075.0s]
It's just a show.
▶ Play
[1075.0s – 1077.0s]
Did you like it?
▶ Play
[1077.0s – 1079.0s]
Like, do you like?
▶ Play
[1079.0s – 1080.0s]
Are you starting to like?
▶ Play
[1080.0s – 1082.0s]
Maybe she's catching feelings and he's not.
▶ Play
[1080.0s – 1083.0s]
This one baffles.
▶ Play
[1082.0s – 1083.0s]
I know.
▶ Play
[1083.0s – 1085.0s]
He's just enjoying hanging around.
▶ Play
[1083.0s – 1086.0s]
You know farms are as well though.
▶ Play
[1085.0s – 1086.0s]
What?
▶ Play
[1086.0s – 1087.0s]
What?
▶ Play
[1086.0s – 1090.0s]
That's typical mando.
▶ Play
[1087.0s – 1089.0s]
What?
▶ Play
[1089.0s – 1091.0s]
What?
▶ Play
[1090.0s – 1093.0s]
They want everything but the label.
▶ Play
[1091.0s – 1094.0s]
What?
▶ Play
[1093.0s – 1094.0s]
Oh yeah.
▶ Play
[1094.0s – 1096.0s]
It's how they can do things and not feel bad.
▶ Play
[1094.0s – 1095.0s]
What?
▶ Play
[1095.0s – 1096.0s]
What?
▶ Play
[1096.0s – 1098.0s]
Come on, says you don't want to entertain anyone else.
▶ Play
[1096.0s – 1097.0s]
What?
▶ Play
[1097.0s – 1098.0s]
What?
▶ Play
[1098.0s – 1099.0s]
What?
▶ Play
[1098.0s – 1099.0s]
You probably is.
▶ Play
[1099.0s – 1100.0s]
They are.
▶ Play
[1100.0s – 1103.0s]
They're realistically like...
▶ Play
[1103.0s – 1105.0s]
I think rune, I think it's started.
▶ Play
[1105.0s – 1107.0s]
Yeah, it's given too many complications.
▶ Play
[1107.0s – 1108.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1108.0s – 1111.0s]
And someone who's telling it, I was trying to run friendsman
▶ Play
[1111.0s – 1113.0s]
because I feel like he's not going to change his mind.
▶ Play
[1113.0s – 1114.0s]
Neither so.
▶ Play
[1114.0s – 1115.0s]
Bye bye.
▶ Play
[1115.0s – 1116.0s]
I'm going to run.
▶ Play
[1116.0s – 1117.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1117.0s – 1119.0s]
So you're buying now.
▶ Play
[1119.0s – 1121.0s]
Then the last one you have is,
▶ Play
[1121.0s – 1122.0s]
Hi Sheldon Ellie.
▶ Play
[1122.0s – 1125.0s]
First of all, I want to start off with saying how much I love you girls so much.
▶ Play
[1125.0s – 1128.0s]
And let you know how much the podcast has brought up my days.
▶ Play
[1128.0s – 1130.0s]
I always miss someone I'm feeling stressed about college work and assignments.
▶ Play
[1130.0s – 1132.0s]
And you always make me feel so much better.
▶ Play
[1132.0s – 1133.0s]
So thank you girls so much.
▶ Play
[1133.0s – 1134.0s]
Oh, very cute.
▶ Play
[1134.0s – 1135.0s]
So cute for you.
▶ Play
[1135.0s – 1137.0s]
My dilemma is that I've lied to lad for some time now.
▶ Play
[1137.0s – 1139.0s]
But I don't know how to approach the situation.
▶ Play
[1139.0s – 1140.0s]
I'm a very shy person.
▶ Play
[1140.0s – 1144.0s]
I don't retalk to many lads or get much more attention than I tell, etc.
▶ Play
[1144.0s – 1145.0s]
This lad is family friend.
▶ Play
[1145.0s – 1148.0s]
I'm afraid of getting embarrassed of things to not go my way.
▶ Play
[1148.0s – 1150.0s]
Anytime I see my feeling nervous on nights out,
▶ Play
[1150.0s – 1152.0s]
even when I have a few drinks in me,
▶ Play
[1152.0s – 1154.0s]
I don't even know how to approach the situation.
▶ Play
[1154.0s – 1157.0s]
This even I salmon the German froze, so I don't know what to do.
▶ Play
[1157.0s – 1159.0s]
Any advice that we must appreciate it.
▶ Play
[1159.0s – 1160.0s]
Thank you so much for us.
▶ Play
[1160.0s – 1161.0s]
Feel like we've had him.
▶ Play
[1161.0s – 1163.0s]
Yeah, there was one literally very family friend.
▶ Play
[1163.0s – 1164.0s]
Yeah, family friend.
▶ Play
[1165.0s – 1168.0s]
And we jump straight ahead to you, but imagine the wedding.
▶ Play
[1168.0s – 1169.0s]
Oh, no, literally.
▶ Play
[1169.0s – 1170.0s]
We really want to.
▶ Play
[1170.0s – 1171.0s]
We really want to.
▶ Play
[1171.0s – 1177.0s]
Um, um, Charlie and Ollie says that two people know
▶ Play
[1177.0s – 1179.0s]
if they have feelings for each other.
▶ Play
[1179.0s – 1182.0s]
Yeah, you can't, yeah, you can't like someone and them not like that.
▶ Play
[1182.0s – 1184.0s]
Maybe I just have a really good intuition.
▶ Play
[1184.0s – 1186.0s]
Maybe I just like you words.
▶ Play
[1186.0s – 1187.0s]
True.
▶ Play
[1187.0s – 1188.0s]
Oh, you're okay.
▶ Play
[1188.0s – 1189.0s]
I'm messing about the rest.
▶ Play
[1189.0s – 1191.0s]
Um, no, I just...
▶ Play
[1191.0s – 1194.0s]
I don't know how to approach.
▶ Play
[1194.0s – 1195.0s]
I don't know.
▶ Play
[1195.0s – 1197.0s]
I'm trying to go out of the past.
▶ Play
[1197.0s – 1201.0s]
I really like when school, when someone was like,
▶ Play
[1201.0s – 1204.0s]
do you, will you be her, his girlfriend's,
▶ Play
[1204.0s – 1206.0s]
shoot, you talk when it's free and like as I get.
▶ Play
[1206.0s – 1207.0s]
And then it was a prank.
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[1207.0s – 1208.0s]
Oh my god, no.
▶ Play
[1208.0s – 1209.0s]
That's all me.
▶ Play
[1209.0s – 1210.0s]
That's really me.
▶ Play
[1210.0s – 1211.0s]
I was so sad.
▶ Play
[1211.0s – 1212.0s]
I really fancy them.
▶ Play
[1212.0s – 1213.0s]
That's pulling.
▶ Play
[1213.0s – 1216.0s]
Isn't it like I was the, no.
▶ Play
[1216.0s – 1217.0s]
How did they tell you?
▶ Play
[1217.0s – 1218.0s]
No, sorry, prank.
▶ Play
[1218.0s – 1220.0s]
I really like it was just a dare.
▶ Play
[1220.0s – 1221.0s]
Some bastards.
▶ Play
[1221.0s – 1223.0s]
I think I thought of her few errors.
▶ Play
[1223.0s – 1224.0s]
I can then tell me.
▶ Play
[1224.0s – 1226.0s]
She's like, you're a loved off.
▶ Play
[1226.0s – 1228.0s]
Yeah, I was just pranking her.
▶ Play
[1228.0s – 1230.0s]
I'm one of my first there.
▶ Play
[1230.0s – 1234.0s]
Um, what would you do if you liked someone now?
▶ Play
[1234.0s – 1236.0s]
Don't ever like anyone.
▶ Play
[1236.0s – 1238.0s]
That's the better idea.
▶ Play
[1238.0s – 1240.0s]
Keepers are saying.
▶ Play
[1240.0s – 1242.0s]
Would you go, oh, okay, we had to.
▶ Play
[1242.0s – 1245.0s]
Would you like like stories, text?
▶ Play
[1245.0s – 1248.0s]
Yeah, like a story or a picture or something.
▶ Play
[1248.0s – 1249.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1249.0s – 1250.0s]
I got brave.
▶ Play
[1250.0s – 1251.0s]
Oh, she made it.
▶ Play
[1251.0s – 1252.0s]
She was just me.
▶ Play
[1252.0s – 1254.0s]
Oh, you said like, yeah, yeah.
▶ Play
[1254.0s – 1255.0s]
Yeah, yeah.
▶ Play
[1255.0s – 1257.0s]
Yeah, maybe.
▶ Play
[1257.0s – 1259.0s]
Like an old story.
▶ Play
[1259.0s – 1260.0s]
I thought maybe just a story.
▶ Play
[1260.0s – 1261.0s]
I don't have like a scapegoat.
▶ Play
[1261.0s – 1262.0s]
It is.
▶ Play
[1262.0s – 1264.0s]
Anyway, so it's much easier.
▶ Play
[1264.0s – 1266.0s]
We don't find it as easy to approach you.
▶ Play
[1266.0s – 1267.0s]
But these days like.
▶ Play
[1267.0s – 1270.0s]
As a collective being.
▶ Play
[1270.0s – 1272.0s]
Yeah, but I feel like even if you.
▶ Play
[1272.0s – 1276.0s]
If you do meet someone else, you always kind of know who they were.
▶ Play
[1276.0s – 1279.0s]
Like I don't think I've ever met anyone.
▶ Play
[1279.0s – 1281.0s]
Who I never, ever knew, ever.
▶ Play
[1281.0s – 1283.0s]
Except maybe that's where you went wrong.
▶ Play
[1283.0s – 1285.0s]
Except my ex-many years ago.
▶ Play
[1285.0s – 1286.0s]
I never, ever knew him at all.
▶ Play
[1286.0s – 1288.0s]
Maybe she got ever had new.
▶ Play
[1288.0s – 1291.0s]
Like, yeah, but anyone since then that I've ever been with.
▶ Play
[1291.0s – 1292.0s]
I've all you love.
▶ Play
[1292.0s – 1294.0s]
Yeah, I've known them or.
▶ Play
[1294.0s – 1295.0s]
I've met them.
▶ Play
[1295.0s – 1297.0s]
I've known them through.
▶ Play
[1297.0s – 1300.0s]
Yeah, it's good to have like a background check on people those.
▶ Play
[1300.0s – 1302.0s]
I don't know them at all.
▶ Play
[1302.0s – 1304.0s]
Then no, no one knows them.
▶ Play
[1304.0s – 1307.0s]
It's like this person could be like an axe murder.
▶ Play
[1307.0s – 1311.0s]
Yeah, so like it is good in a way.
▶ Play
[1311.0s – 1313.0s]
But I think yeah, social media.
▶ Play
[1313.0s – 1316.0s]
Yeah, it's the day and age that we live in now.
▶ Play
[1316.0s – 1318.0s]
It's the only way to do it.
▶ Play
[1318.0s – 1321.0s]
Why don't you go up to them and be like, I know it's a nervous thing.
▶ Play
[1321.0s – 1324.0s]
But if you, I always think to myself and I was younger.
▶ Play
[1324.0s – 1327.0s]
Well in college, I kind of started to be more comfortable.
▶ Play
[1327.0s – 1329.0s]
If no one knows you're nervous.
▶ Play
[1329.0s – 1331.0s]
You don't look nervous in the airtime.
▶ Play
[1331.0s – 1333.0s]
No one knows you're nervous in the insights.
▶ Play
[1333.0s – 1335.0s]
Once you carry yourself with confidence, we were only talking about that.
▶ Play
[1335.0s – 1337.0s]
Yeah, you carry yourself with confidence through life.
▶ Play
[1337.0s – 1340.0s]
Like, fake it so you make it is the best thing in ever.
▶ Play
[1340.0s – 1342.0s]
That's fake to make it exactly.
▶ Play
[1342.0s – 1343.0s]
Yeah, literally is the best thing ever.
▶ Play
[1343.0s – 1345.0s]
Yeah, once you have that little ounce of confidence.
▶ Play
[1345.0s – 1346.0s]
Mm hmm.
▶ Play
[1346.0s – 1348.0s]
You could be shitting bricks inside.
▶ Play
[1348.0s – 1349.0s]
You could be pooing pants.
▶ Play
[1349.0s – 1351.0s]
Yeah, but people on the outside look at that and be like, well, yeah.
▶ Play
[1351.0s – 1352.0s]
Cheers walls.
▶ Play
[1352.0s – 1353.0s]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
▶ Play
[1353.0s – 1355.0s]
But you actually know walls, but they won't know that.
▶ Play
[1355.0s – 1359.0s]
And again, the soap and stuff, I think there's something intimidating about a girl with balls.
▶ Play
[1359.0s – 1360.0s]
Yeah, it is.
▶ Play
[1360.0s – 1362.0s]
And I'm not even a man looking at girls.
▶ Play
[1362.0s – 1364.0s]
Like, don't even imagine being a man.
▶ Play
[1364.0s – 1366.0s]
I'm being intimidated by a girl who has balls.
▶ Play
[1366.0s – 1368.0s]
Well, then you're going to weed out the fuckers.
▶ Play
[1368.0s – 1369.0s]
True, yeah.
▶ Play
[1369.0s – 1370.0s]
Someone's intimidated by it then.
▶ Play
[1370.0s – 1372.0s]
So you're seeing it, like true.
▶ Play
[1372.0s – 1373.0s]
So you weren't worth it, yeah.
▶ Play
[1373.0s – 1374.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1374.0s – 1375.0s]
But then what if you're fake in the balls?
▶ Play
[1375.0s – 1376.0s]
Well, still.
▶ Play
[1376.0s – 1377.0s]
Dingo dead.
▶ Play
[1377.0s – 1381.0s]
I wouldn't want to, I think with a fella, it's like, oh, she's so shy.
▶ Play
[1381.0s – 1382.0s]
It's obviously nice.
▶ Play
[1383.0s – 1385.0s]
Like it's people are shy, whatever.
▶ Play
[1385.0s – 1393.0s]
But like if a fella is gone for you just for that, because they don't want to, because they know that they think that someone shy or something is not going to ever speak back to them or like,
▶ Play
[1393.0s – 1394.0s]
join me in.
▶ Play
[1394.0s – 1397.0s]
Oh, it's very like, I feel like nervous.
▶ Play
[1397.0s – 1399.0s]
I was up for someone who was like, who's shy.
▶ Play
[1399.0s – 1403.0s]
Yeah, who they see they would appear to be weaker than them.
▶ Play
[1403.0s – 1404.0s]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
▶ Play
[1404.0s – 1405.0s]
Weaker is in bunny ears.
▶ Play
[1405.0s – 1408.0s]
It's not actually weaker, but like, yeah, not as big personality or like, or so.
▶ Play
[1408.0s – 1409.0s]
Okay.
▶ Play
[1409.0s – 1411.0s]
Yeah, they think they need someone like that to like walk all over them.
▶ Play
[1411.0s – 1413.0s]
And manipulate them to what they want.
▶ Play
[1413.0s – 1414.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1414.0s – 1419.0s]
But you're not saying anyone who requires weaker is not the case, but to them.
▶ Play
[1419.0s – 1421.0s]
They're like, that's what they think.
▶ Play
[1421.0s – 1422.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1422.0s – 1423.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1423.0s – 1426.0s]
I think act the barry big balls on it.
▶ Play
[1426.0s – 1428.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1428.0s – 1429.0s]
Confidence.
▶ Play
[1429.0s – 1432.0s]
Maybe we just thought a couple of times, like, just take your breath.
▶ Play
[1432.0s – 1435.0s]
Give yourself a second and just be like, I'm just kind of doing it.
▶ Play
[1435.0s – 1437.0s]
And just don't even, don't even give yourself the second thing.
▶ Play
[1437.0s – 1438.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1438.0s – 1439.0s]
Just do it.
▶ Play
[1439.0s – 1440.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1440.0s – 1441.0s]
I'm just asking you to ask even.
▶ Play
[1441.0s – 1442.0s]
Like, I have to ask a game or something.
▶ Play
[1442.0s – 1445.0s]
As your mom, we're like, yeah, asking your borrow something or like, yeah, or like,
▶ Play
[1445.0s – 1446.0s]
she's the time I found died.
▶ Play
[1446.0s – 1447.0s]
You found it not died.
▶ Play
[1447.0s – 1448.0s]
You found it not died.
▶ Play
[1448.0s – 1449.0s]
We're going to pretend found that in your hand.
▶ Play
[1449.0s – 1450.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1450.0s – 1451.0s]
The phone rings.
▶ Play
[1451.0s – 1452.0s]
I've ringing.
▶ Play
[1452.0s – 1453.0s]
Oh, it's funny.
▶ Play
[1453.0s – 1454.0s]
It's like the phone's there.
▶ Play
[1454.0s – 1458.0s]
It'd be like, oh, I think just, yeah, having that bit of courage.
▶ Play
[1458.0s – 1459.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1459.0s – 1462.0s]
I'm sure we've really man up the cup on to know.
▶ Play
[1462.0s – 1465.0s]
I think man, no one's on this flirt with them.
▶ Play
[1465.0s – 1466.0s]
Some do.
▶ Play
[1466.0s – 1467.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1468.0s – 1469.0s]
Some don't.
▶ Play
[1470.0s – 1472.0s]
I think this fella, no.
▶ Play
[1472.0s – 1473.0s]
Yeah, I think so too.
▶ Play
[1473.0s – 1475.0s]
I think he might have the same feelings.
▶ Play
[1475.0s – 1477.0s]
I might have the same thoughts.
▶ Play
[1477.0s – 1479.0s]
Yeah, but you can do it.
▶ Play
[1479.0s – 1481.0s]
You just need to give yourself that.
▶ Play
[1481.0s – 1483.0s]
Just think of yourself kicking yourself in the air.
▶ Play
[1483.0s – 1485.0s]
Because you always regret why it went up to him.
▶ Play
[1485.0s – 1487.0s]
Well, it's like, he'll drive yourself insane.
▶ Play
[1487.0s – 1488.0s]
Exactly.
▶ Play
[1488.0s – 1491.0s]
And the worst thing happened is he's not right.
▶ Play
[1491.0s – 1492.0s]
No, you're like, he's not right.
▶ Play
[1492.0s – 1493.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1493.0s – 1494.0s]
You'll get a better guy out of his feelings.
▶ Play
[1494.0s – 1495.0s]
Yes.
▶ Play
[1496.0s – 1499.0s]
Seagun Center's diamonds into homea drink at golearnow.com.
▶ Play
[1499.0s – 1501.0s]
New episodes of Homea Drink Extrude's come out every one day.
▶ Play
[1501.0s – 1503.0s]
I'm an episode there on Wednesday.
▶ Play
[1503.0s – 1505.0s]
Thank you to our Microsoft Instance episode.
▶ Play
[1505.0s – 1506.0s]
Make sure to like, rate, subscribe.
▶ Play
[1506.0s – 1507.0s]
And we'll see you on Wednesday.
▶ Play
[1507.0s – 1508.0s]
We'll see you on Wednesday.
▶ Play
[1508.0s – 1509.0s]
Love you.
▶ Play
[1509.0s – 1510.0s]
Bye.
▶ Play
[1510.0s – 1511.0s]
Bye.
▶ Play
[1511.0s – 1514.0s]
Hold my drink, Extrude's with Charlene and Ellie.
▶ Play
[1514.0s – 1518.0s]
A go-laid original podcast, proudly sponsored by pennies.
▶ Play
[1518.0s – 1522.0s]
Whether it's stylish savings and new double snuddy, gym gear,
▶ Play
[1522.0s – 1524.0s]
or some beauty bits you're looking for.
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[1524.0s – 1527.0s]
Penny's is the ultimate high street destination.
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