EXTRA JUICE: "I don't have someone that thinks of me as their first choice..." #51
Hold My Drink
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Transcript
[0.0s – 3.9s]
Hold my drink, extra juice with Charlene and Ellie.
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A go-laid original podcast, proudly sponsored by pennies.
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Get this season's must-haves in a store near you.
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Welcome to Home My Drink, extra juice, which is Kanye's fan's row primary for pennies.
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The ultimate hostie destination that's everything you need this spring.
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Get yourself out there and have some fun and celebrate yourself at Pride Mac.
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Pride Mac is the ultimate high-shoe store every girl is obsessed with.
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Spring is here, it's time to go big on your wardrobe.
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Stand out with Pride Mac's latest spring 2023 collection.
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The range is characteristically cool,
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pink pop and bright colours,
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a learn floral as well as have a utility inspired khaki co-ords.
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Give me a touch of edge for stand-outs through some moments.
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I got lovely, um...
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Which is called the Play Suit?
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Uni Tards?
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Rumper, rumper, yeah.
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Yeah, I got lovely, um...
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Like, pastel-y kind of thing in there.
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So I'm gonna wear that for...
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Got ready for the live show?
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Oh, cool, I see.
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Yeah, I really want to pink.
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Have to pink.
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It's good for, like, unhulled, you just travel on a happy holiday.
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It's worn out for you, yeah.
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You don't have to think of the top of what, but...
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Yeah, this is love.
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You just have it on.
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All in one.
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And it gives for the gym as well, then.
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You want to have some room, no?
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So you know, you can also check what is in your local store on the Parmaq website
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with our new stock finder with Charlie and has tried and tested.
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Very good.
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Very good.
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It's so handy, but sure, we're always popping in and out of pennies anyway,
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but if you're not, you can check on the website and see if what you're looking for
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is in stock in your store.
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It's good as well, if you live, like, between two pennies and you know,
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which one, like, I also want to go to.
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Yeah, sometimes it doesn't have the one that, like, what you want.
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So...
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Then you know which one to go to.
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Correctly, so handy.
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You're logged on to www.parmaq.com for Sasha Yich, check out other spring pieces
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and also see what's in stock in your local store with your new stock finder.
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This is our brown set episode where we get to answer even more of your telemetry.
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Even more.
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Even more of our way.
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And we love updates.
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We...
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I get so excited about them.
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I was...
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I think it's also the unknown as well that we're like,
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Ooh, what's it going to be?
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Yeah, what's it going to be?
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Because we...
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We say that we give out the advice and it's not viable.
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We just try and help.
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So it's always interesting to see if it went that way or if it's a...
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Yeah.
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Or if people actually still quite advice.
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Yeah, it was impressive that if they did because it's hard to actually maybe because of work
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and outside perspectives that were more likely to.
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Yeah, yeah.
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It's always easier to hear it from somebody who's not in your circle.
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Yeah, yeah.
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So, why is she on the other side of the first one?
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Yeah, it's okay.
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So we answered the Suleiman episode 60.
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That was recent enough.
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Um, I know.
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Let's go see what we got on 70's.
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Let me see what we got on 70's.
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My boyfriend and I have been together for one year and I'm just fine.
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I'm realizing he might not be for me 100% as he doesn't treat me how I'd like to think
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if I ever got into another relationship.
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He's really about a plan and stuff and it's always meeting of dates and ideas related.
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It's just simple as ringing a table.
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Ring into book a table for dinner out.
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He asked me to go to dinner last week and he said he was booking up because we discussed
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that he is lazy and isn't put in the same energy as I am.
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And then he said the day before that he actually forgot to book and this made me so angry
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but more upset like why bother asking me to disappoint me.
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I have only certain times and days I can see him.
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He asked me to spend the night with him a few hours and when we got there I knew something
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wasn't the same my feeling so I told him if not the changes will have to make a plan
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to break or to take a break to break up or to take a break and he agreed.
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Our advice was open table is a thing and it's very easy.
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And I'm exactly how you feel and to go on a break and if he cops on the meantime I'll
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want to go but if not the reason is not for you.
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Here is the update.
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So hey girls your advice really opened my eyes as I needed someone else's view.
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I waited and saw if there was any changes occurred for like a month and nothing did.
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The spark was completely lost to me broke up after Christmas.
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I felt so happy with this decision but now slowing down understand what it's like to
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be without him.
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I want to be by myself and am I healing girl era and focus on myself worth and not set
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up for less because I know how lucky any lad should be as I know how much love I can
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give somebody and really commit my all to them.
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I'm very down where he's nearly seen a new girl now he's given her everything I ever
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asked for and that's heartbreaking to see but I just want advice on how to heal and grow
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as a person in this situation.
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As YouTuber I was so strong and really my inspiration and use their self strong and
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swimming and independent.
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Thank you so much for helping me to understand my worth and match the energy of somebody
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your podcast makes my way.
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I love you.
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My whole heart.
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I think I think seeing him gives someone else what you asked for what you asked for.
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Yeah.
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I had to learn that the hard way like seeing somebody else get what you begs for.
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But that's not reflection on you.
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Not even that though.
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She's seeing this from the outside.
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Yeah.
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He could look like he's given everything but he's probably not she probably feels the same
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Yeah.
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It always looks from the outside like things are great but if they break up in few
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months you'd be like oh shit I must never know.
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Yeah.
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Do you know like someone like that and if they're not right for you then they're not
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right for you.
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It's also he could be loved by them the life of the new one.
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Of course it's the first few months.
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I think it's like that when they refresh as well.
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Everything was the best at the first year.
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Yeah.
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I think just trying to block out whatever they're doing is number one like blocking accounts
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or wherever you're seeing that information from is a good idea.
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I just know that your person is out there.
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There's a reason he didn't give you that because he wasn't for you and there's someone
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better.
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Yeah.
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To look for.
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Like everything does happen for a reason like that even though shit at the time.
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To even try and understand that.
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You don't want to understand that.
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No, you don't.
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But it is a blessing.
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It's a blessing in disguise.
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Yeah.
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I forgot people say blessing in disguise.
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We had a conversation last week actually what was it?
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We even come through.
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Yeah.
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Blessing in disguise.
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Anyway.
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Yeah.
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It's probably a blessing in disguise that it happened.
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I know it doesn't feel like it right now but I promise you you'll look back.
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Yeah.
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You will look back and that's always a better feeling to be able to look back and be like
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well.
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Yeah.
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I either got over or I took, I knew myself.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And also like if he couldn't, if he's given someone else something but if he couldn't,
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it's more importantly what he could give to you.
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If he couldn't give you that then.
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Fuck him and fuck them.
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Yeah.
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They're ready to.
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I would do a challenge like that.
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Don't look.
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Lock that out.
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Yeah.
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Hey, I feel like when you look at something and you don't, you don't want to look at it.
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You know, you know, you're going to get that feeling.
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You know it.
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And you know it.
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He just like burned inside.
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Yeah.
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You're like, I'm going to see something I don't want to see but I'm just going to see.
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I just want to see.
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I just get, yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I actually got a hot and bothered like.
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You're like, why am I putting myself through this?
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Yeah.
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I got really good at not to and that there was one point I at least asked myself and I was like,
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why am I doing this?
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I'm certain something to make myself upset.
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Yeah.
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Why would you do that?
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I've never done it yet.
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Did you know?
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Yeah.
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I think trying to do that will be good for you.
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And just now no matter how nice you are to the next girl, if you couldn't be nice to you,
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that's your reason to be.
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That's a lovely move.
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You're not exactly.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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We love you.
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Love you.
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The next one we have is another update.
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Another update.
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Another update.
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The update is, hi gorgeous girls.
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I love you both and I hope you're doing so well.
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I just wanted to give you guys an update.
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My dilemma was about how my boyfriend had finished with me a couple of times.
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He spoke to my mom and dad after the first time and then he did it again, etc.
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It took a while for my family to accept him again, but they did.
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And all was well or so I thought fast forward to February and he did it again.
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This time my family really put their foot down and said no more.
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They said they won't ever associate.
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They won't ever associate with him again and that I've changed because of him,
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which I understand, but I've never felt this way about anyone before.
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So they haven't seen me like this.
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He has a lot of issues he needed to seek help for and he finally has.
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He almost lost his life and intern lost his job, his house,
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blew through his savings, lost a lot of his friends and was really down in the hole.
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So I know it wasn't right.
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I know it wasn't right of him to take his problems out on me,
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but I can't help but hold space for him because I see the good in him.
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It's been over a month now and I really put my foot down this time,
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I think, a few other times and asked him for space to focus on me.
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So I got back into the gym, started a new job, etc. and feeling great.
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And he really has shown me that he's getting the help he needs and turning things around.
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I can see a true difference.
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I would be lying if I said I wouldn't want to try things again because I'd rather say,
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oh, oh, well, then what if?
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Oh, yeah, we say that.
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Oh, well, then what if I guess I just don't know how to approach my family with this
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and the time comes because they know too much already and that's my fault
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because I live with them and I'm close with them.
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So I fear I've already fucked up.
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I need advice again how to navigate these very...
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I think your family are always going to look at it from the outside and want the best for you.
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Yeah, and they'll see something that isn't the best for you quicker than you'll see it.
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Yeah, so it is awkward out to be stuck in the middle of things.
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I think if you just be brutally honest with them, be like, I need to learn for myself.
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Yeah, you really do.
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You need to learn for yourself.
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And nobody can tell you what to do until it actually hits you one day that either say,
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okay, well, I give another go or what the fuck am I doing?
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Oh, I do.
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I think protect your own self as well because he might be seeming like he's changing now,
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but like people are very manifest when they want to get what they want.
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They'll put on this front charade and they go after that charade of what they're like.
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And maybe he's not actually changed.
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Just be like where are you there?
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But yeah, I think telling your family just being honest with them.
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Yeah, it's all point kind of hard or no, or beat around the world.
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But it's also it's all going to make things difficult for you.
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Is in the future like they're probably never going to accept him again.
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Yeah.
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And that's that's something you have to think of then if you want to get back home.
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Like do you want that?
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That problem.
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Yeah, do you actually want to do it?
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Yeah.
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And I think just be honest with them.
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Just be honest with them.
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How we are.
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Yeah.
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How is it going?
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How are you feeling?
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Opset, what do you need to take it?
▶ Play
[626.0s – 629.2s]
Yeah, you're not going to you're not going to sit there and be able to convince them of how nice it's.
▶ Play
[629.2s – 633.2s]
Yeah, you just need to be accepted except another fact that they're not going to be happy like.
▶ Play
[633.2s – 635.0s]
I'm kind of thinking about that before you talk.
▶ Play
[635.0s – 635.6s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[635.6s – 638.2s]
And just think of it as like.
▶ Play
[638.2s – 639.8s]
Like I said, like they just want the best for you.
▶ Play
[639.8s – 640.2s]
That's it.
▶ Play
[640.2s – 640.4s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[640.4s – 643.8s]
So if they're upset with you, it's because they don't see the potential of this.
▶ Play
[643.8s – 645.0s]
Yeah, feck her husband.
▶ Play
[645.0s – 646.4s]
And like maybe listen to them as well.
▶ Play
[646.4s – 649.8s]
Like if they're trying to tell you something in the conversation, I don't be like.
▶ Play
[649.8s – 652.2s]
No, no, no, like just listen to what they have to say.
▶ Play
[652.2s – 653.4s]
You don't understand about.
▶ Play
[653.4s – 654.4s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[654.4s – 655.4s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[655.4s – 656.4s]
I'm both.
▶ Play
[656.4s – 658.4s]
I'm terrified someone like you love looking at that as well.
▶ Play
[658.4s – 662.4s]
And they don't want to see you hurt and that's why they're so defensive.
▶ Play
[664.4s – 667.4s]
We entered the dilemma last week in episode 77.
▶ Play
[667.4s – 670.0s]
And I've been on off with this man for almost three years.
▶ Play
[670.0s – 671.0s]
He finally made.
▶ Play
[671.0s – 672.0s]
Oh, I'm dying here.
▶ Play
[672.0s – 673.0s]
It's okay.
▶ Play
[673.0s – 675.6s]
It's the one that got ghosted after he asked me for 14 days.
▶ Play
[675.6s – 676.6s]
Oh, yeah, yeah.
▶ Play
[676.6s – 678.6s]
I've been on off this man for almost three years.
▶ Play
[678.6s – 681.4s]
He finally made it official two weeks ago and everything was amazing.
▶ Play
[681.4s – 683.6s]
Her Valentine's Day booktests to go into a hotel.
▶ Play
[683.6s – 685.4s]
Sempty flowers, the works.
▶ Play
[685.4s – 686.4s]
It was perfect weekend.
▶ Play
[686.4s – 690.2s]
I was so happy as I thought he was too few days after we had so tell you.
▶ Play
[690.2s – 692.6s]
He's been very off over text and said some has bothering him.
▶ Play
[692.6s – 695.0s]
But we are sure that nothing.
▶ Play
[695.0s – 695.6s]
I don't do it.
▶ Play
[695.6s – 696.2s]
Me or us.
▶ Play
[696.2s – 697.6s]
I offered to help and that was lasting.
▶ Play
[697.6s – 698.6s]
I heard from him.
▶ Play
[698.6s – 700.2s]
It's been 13 days now and nothing.
▶ Play
[700.2s – 703.2s]
We used to talk about messages, but all my messages have been delivered.
▶ Play
[703.2s – 706.0s]
His snaps go as gone up and went around and the car rang through.
▶ Play
[706.0s – 707.0s]
I was seriously worried.
▶ Play
[707.0s – 709.8s]
Then annoyed and now I'm just confused and harrow broken.
▶ Play
[709.8s – 710.8s]
I cannot for the life.
▶ Play
[710.8s – 711.8s]
Me find a reason why this has happened.
▶ Play
[711.8s – 715.1s]
My text on Snapchat and I know I was seeing the message as he's been active on the
▶ Play
[715.1s – 716.1s]
absence.
▶ Play
[716.1s – 717.1s]
When no reason no closure.
▶ Play
[717.1s – 718.1s]
I don't know what to do.
▶ Play
[718.1s – 723.6s]
Our advice was go to his house in good faith to check in on him because you haven't
▶ Play
[723.6s – 727.8s]
heard from him so long or try to get into it's friends, family or colleagues.
▶ Play
[727.8s – 728.8s]
Here's the uptake.
▶ Play
[728.8s – 733.0s]
Hey girls, it's been over a week since I sent that to them in and it's been three weeks
▶ Play
[733.0s – 735.8s]
since I've heard from him.
▶ Play
[735.8s – 737.8s]
Thank you so much for your advice on this.
▶ Play
[737.8s – 740.0s]
I don't know if I was family or friends at all.
▶ Play
[740.0s – 744.6s]
I rang his work and got nowhere and he doesn't have an Instagram so can't even do any digging.
▶ Play
[744.6s – 747.7s]
I sent an ultimatum to explain and I know he's been active so he doesn't reply.
▶ Play
[747.7s – 749.6s]
I'll take it that you just want to be with me.
▶ Play
[749.6s – 752.8s]
I sent that over a week out and still nothing so I guess he just doesn't want to be with
▶ Play
[753.8s – 754.8s]
What the f***!
▶ Play
[754.8s – 757.8s]
I actually had no block on his number as I couldn't stand seeing him active and still
▶ Play
[757.8s – 758.8s]
ignoring me.
▶ Play
[758.8s – 760.1s]
It was just so out of the blue.
▶ Play
[760.1s – 763.8s]
Maybe just was never that interested but every time we've been things for it to me
▶ Play
[763.8s – 766.7s]
do and it didn't and him not want to do anything so I don't understand.
▶ Play
[766.7s – 768.5s]
I love your opinion on what I should do.
▶ Play
[768.5s – 772.6s]
Should I just move on and be single now or still go to his house and try because at this
▶ Play
[772.6s – 773.6s]
stage it was one closure.
▶ Play
[773.6s – 776.2s]
Someone who's capable of doing this is someone I don't do with.
▶ Play
[776.2s – 777.9s]
I think maybe you're right about the cold feet.
▶ Play
[777.9s – 778.9s]
Love you here as in the pod.
▶ Play
[778.9s – 779.9s]
Thanks so much for your help.
▶ Play
[779.9s – 782.2s]
Now answer to it yourself there.
▶ Play
[782.2s – 784.2s]
Someone who's capable of doing that is someone you don't know.
▶ Play
[784.2s – 785.2s]
I'm not with so f*** him.
▶ Play
[785.2s – 786.2s]
Leave him on blocked.
▶ Play
[786.2s – 787.2s]
Leave your best life.
▶ Play
[787.2s – 788.2s]
Focus on you.
▶ Play
[788.2s – 789.2s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[789.2s – 791.2s]
I wouldn't need an answer out of that.
▶ Play
[792.2s – 793.2s]
I wouldn't.
▶ Play
[793.2s – 794.2s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[794.2s – 796.7s]
I'm going to play it for you because it's a really good ticsack about closure.
▶ Play
[796.7s – 802.1s]
It's only sure I'm on ice cream chateau is very good.
▶ Play
[802.1s – 804.8s]
This is about a ticsack about closure right?
▶ Play
[804.8s – 805.8s]
Shit.
▶ Play
[805.8s – 816.9s]
Do you really need the person who hurt you to tell you I hurt you and I'm sorry and I
▶ Play
[816.9s – 820.4s]
feel awful that I did it.
▶ Play
[820.4s – 823.6s]
It's beautiful to get it but do you need it?
▶ Play
[823.6s – 827.7s]
Do you not know how painful the pain was when you experienced it?
▶ Play
[827.7s – 833.6s]
Do you need them to tell you how painful it was and give you permission to feel it?
▶ Play
[833.6s – 835.4s]
You don't need it.
▶ Play
[835.4s – 837.2s]
You want it.
▶ Play
[837.2s – 839.8s]
The one who broke you cannot heal you.
▶ Play
[839.8s – 842.7s]
You have to heal you.
▶ Play
[842.7s – 847.9s]
You can't expect the person who broke you into pieces to bring those pieces and say
▶ Play
[847.9s – 851.5s]
I'm going to put you back together.
▶ Play
[851.5s – 853.0s]
You can't do that.
▶ Play
[853.0s – 856.2s]
You can but why would you choose to do that?
▶ Play
[856.2s – 861.0s]
Someone who has the power to destroy you and uses that power?
▶ Play
[861.0s – 865.0s]
Why would you trust them with rebuilding you?
▶ Play
[865.0s – 866.0s]
Listen.
▶ Play
[866.0s – 867.0s]
Very good.
▶ Play
[867.0s – 868.0s]
Very good.
▶ Play
[868.0s – 869.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[869.0s – 871.0s]
The one who hurt you can't heal you.
▶ Play
[871.0s – 872.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[872.0s – 873.0s]
You don't need their closure.
▶ Play
[873.0s – 877.0s]
What I'm going to say is sorry for being a bastard.
▶ Play
[877.0s – 878.4s]
It's not that you did.
▶ Play
[878.4s – 881.5s]
You couldn't give yourself closure by saying.
▶ Play
[881.5s – 883.5s]
I didn't do that in one.
▶ Play
[883.5s – 885.5s]
That's his fault.
▶ Play
[885.5s – 887.5s]
His loss?
▶ Play
[887.5s – 888.5s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[888.5s – 890.5s]
It's so hard.
▶ Play
[890.5s – 895.5s]
Whatever you get off him, if he says I have not told you, it's not what I'm going to do for you.
▶ Play
[895.5s – 897.5s]
It's probably going to actually make you more upset.
▶ Play
[897.5s – 899.5s]
The answer isn't going to fix anything.
▶ Play
[900.5s – 903.5s]
You can fix everything yourself.
▶ Play
[903.5s – 905.5s]
I wouldn't bother going to his house.
▶ Play
[905.5s – 909.5s]
He don't need him to tell you what's going to make you fix yourself.
▶ Play
[909.5s – 912.5s]
He clearly doesn't know because he's after doing that.
▶ Play
[912.5s – 913.5s]
Bizarre.
▶ Play
[913.5s – 914.5s]
Mendel.
▶ Play
[914.5s – 917.5s]
So when you can do that clearly, also just have the emotional intelligence to be actually
▶ Play
[917.5s – 921.5s]
have a good conversation with you if they think that's the way of treating someone.
▶ Play
[921.5s – 926.5s]
The next one is actually advice from a listener on a dilemma.
▶ Play
[926.5s – 928.5s]
So, hi girls.
▶ Play
[928.5s – 933.5s]
I was listening to your extra juice episode when I heard the dilemma with the girl that was going to the gym
▶ Play
[933.5s – 935.5s]
and kept getting approached by a guy.
▶ Play
[935.5s – 936.5s]
Oh yeah.
▶ Play
[936.5s – 940.5s]
I went on to say that he has now messaged Sean Instagram and is avoiding the gym.
▶ Play
[940.5s – 942.5s]
I just want to email.
▶ Play
[942.5s – 945.5s]
I just want to email you because I had a similar experience with a man in the gym.
▶ Play
[945.5s – 946.5s]
I went to.
▶ Play
[946.5s – 951.5s]
He would approach me every time I was in the gym, making inappropriate comments and telling me his life story.
▶ Play
[951.5s – 955.5s]
Another younger guy in the gym ended up approaching me about him because he is seen.
▶ Play
[955.5s – 958.5s]
He has seen this happen to so many young girls and warrant me to be careful.
▶ Play
[958.5s – 962.5s]
He said that it's gotten so bad in the past that the girls have ended up moving gym.
▶ Play
[962.5s – 966.5s]
Before they moved gym, they even reported this man to the gym staff.
▶ Play
[966.5s – 969.5s]
But because there is now actual evidence, nothing could be done.
▶ Play
[969.5s – 973.5s]
I ended up avoiding the gym at certain times because I knew he would be there and approached me.
▶ Play
[973.5s – 975.5s]
Moving gym was an option for me at the time.
▶ Play
[975.5s – 981.5s]
He ended up in the gym at the same time as me one morning and approached me and asked why I have changed times
▶ Play
[981.5s – 984.5s]
and then proceeded to make inappropriate comments again.
▶ Play
[984.5s – 988.5s]
The younger guy was also in the gym at this time and saw this interaction.
▶ Play
[988.5s – 991.5s]
He approached me when the older man had left and asked if I was okay.
▶ Play
[991.5s – 998.5s]
He came up with the idea where he said he would pretend to be my cousin and tell him to leave me be as he was making me uncomfortable.
▶ Play
[998.5s – 1002.5s]
Something that as a younger alone in the gym, I wouldn't have the confidence to do.
▶ Play
[1002.5s – 1007.5s]
The younger man stuck to his ward and I was never approached by the older man again.
▶ Play
[1007.5s – 1014.5s]
I've had to change gyms since because I have moved areas but just wanted to write in because I'd hate to think it was the same man.
▶ Play
[1014.5s – 1018.5s]
Making this girl feel uncomfortable and cause her to move gyms.
▶ Play
[1018.5s – 1021.5s]
That shouldn't have to be the solution.
▶ Play
[1021.5s – 1024.5s]
Sorry about the long email but just helps this helps the girl struggling.
▶ Play
[1024.5s – 1027.5s]
Loveless and appreciate you being so open.
▶ Play
[1027.5s – 1029.5s]
What's the list there?
▶ Play
[1029.5s – 1034.5s]
You shouldn't have to move a gym because from where there is being weird.
▶ Play
[1034.5s – 1039.5s]
I think over the last few years I've learned that you don't need to be nice to someone who's being a creep.
▶ Play
[1039.5s – 1044.5s]
I used to feel like I was awkward to be like me but now I just would be like, welcome.
▶ Play
[1044.5s – 1047.5s]
It's all I knew home to have a date on them.
▶ Play
[1047.5s – 1054.5s]
Someone who was stepping in the line and letting them know that they shouldn't be allowed to.
▶ Play
[1054.5s – 1056.5s]
No, completely afraid of that.
▶ Play
[1056.5s – 1058.5s]
If they're like, I was renew, just without a catboy.
▶ Play
[1058.5s – 1061.5s]
Someone who's making you feel weird, let them know or you're making me feel weird.
▶ Play
[1061.5s – 1062.5s]
Don't like it.
▶ Play
[1062.5s – 1063.5s]
Move on.
▶ Play
[1063.5s – 1064.5s]
Thank you for that voice.
▶ Play
[1064.5s – 1066.5s]
Thank you for the voice.
▶ Play
[1067.5s – 1070.5s]
I think I was just an unsurred people's accent for the other time.
▶ Play
[1070.5s – 1072.5s]
Is that something you say in your estate?
▶ Play
[1072.5s – 1076.5s]
I don't think it was but that you literally only...
▶ Play
[1076.5s – 1078.5s]
The gym somewhere you don't want to be approached by.
▶ Play
[1078.5s – 1079.5s]
No, yeah.
▶ Play
[1079.5s – 1080.5s]
Okay.
▶ Play
[1080.0s – 1085.0s]
Like everyone's sweaty like, no, I don't want, I'm not looking at you, it's soft thing and I want to do it.
▶ Play
[1085.0s – 1086.5s]
No, yeah. You're there for one reason.
▶ Play
[1086.5s – 1087.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1087.0s – 1089.0s]
You're there to get out and not a good day in place.
▶ Play
[1089.0s – 1090.0s]
No.
▶ Play
[1090.0s – 1093.0s]
I had mascara on, either they're going to the gym actually and they're...
▶ Play
[1093.0s – 1095.0s]
One in the gym, that's me.
▶ Play
[1095.0s – 1097.0s]
You got on the day after this?
▶ Play
[1097.0s – 1098.0s]
Is that like, what?
▶ Play
[1098.0s – 1099.0s]
Just put on the mascara.
▶ Play
[1099.0s – 1101.0s]
You got on the day after this, you've got lashes all on.
▶ Play
[1101.0s – 1105.0s]
I said, I forgot my mascara wrong, they look dead in the morning.
▶ Play
[1105.0s – 1107.0s]
Jesus, yeah.
▶ Play
[1107.0s – 1108.0s]
Oh, yeah, no.
▶ Play
[1108.0s – 1109.0s]
Not a place to...
▶ Play
[1109.0s – 1110.0s]
Yeah, people.
▶ Play
[1110.0s – 1115.0s]
Unless they will look at each other and all that, maybe then, but like, someone's doing their own business doing their own work out.
▶ Play
[1115.0s – 1116.0s]
Please, I'm going to go now.
▶ Play
[1116.0s – 1117.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1117.0s – 1118.0s]
In their own space.
▶ Play
[1118.0s – 1119.0s]
Yeah, exactly.
▶ Play
[1119.0s – 1122.0s]
And next up then we have our dilemmas for the stepsops.
▶ Play
[1122.0s – 1127.0s]
So, these are all sent into how much you can go to www.learnyours.com
▶ Play
[1127.0s – 1129.0s]
and you can send them there if you have any.
▶ Play
[1129.0s – 1133.0s]
This one is, hey girls, I literally the best help with your sandwich recently.
▶ Play
[1133.0s – 1134.0s]
Glad to see you.
▶ Play
[1134.0s – 1135.0s]
They're both happy.
▶ Play
[1135.0s – 1136.0s]
I love you.
▶ Play
[1136.0s – 1141.0s]
And my dilemma at the minute is that I have always wanted to move to Australia and I was planning on going in 2023 with my boyfriend.
▶ Play
[1141.0s – 1142.0s]
I broke up in July.
▶ Play
[1142.0s – 1143.0s]
That's a whole new story.
▶ Play
[1143.0s – 1145.0s]
Don't be getting to that right now.
▶ Play
[1145.0s – 1149.0s]
Anyway, a girl I work with said to me that she would like to travel in too.
▶ Play
[1149.0s – 1150.0s]
I will consider as friends.
▶ Play
[1150.0s – 1152.0s]
I may need just work, but I've known her for less than a year.
▶ Play
[1152.0s – 1157.0s]
We've grown closer over the year, but in recent times I've been getting red flags from her.
▶ Play
[1157.0s – 1160.0s]
She's often moved, singing her work, and has a recent effect of work environment.
▶ Play
[1160.0s – 1163.0s]
She doesn't really have much to say about her housemates, and I would give now out with them.
▶ Play
[1164.0s – 1168.0s]
And something my girl is just telling me she's a bit of a convuls of liar times.
▶ Play
[1168.0s – 1170.0s]
I did too feel like such a bad person for you this way now.
▶ Play
[1170.0s – 1174.0s]
I said consider her my friend, but I just don't think I can move to Australia with her.
▶ Play
[1174.0s – 1175.0s]
But I don't fully trust her.
▶ Play
[1175.0s – 1177.0s]
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
▶ Play
[1177.0s – 1178.0s]
Thank you.
▶ Play
[1178.0s – 1180.0s]
That's your gutter.
▶ Play
[1180.0s – 1182.0s]
Ooh, a dodge stat.
▶ Play
[1182.0s – 1183.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1183.0s – 1186.0s]
If you're already getting affected by her in a workplace, imagine it a full time.
▶ Play
[1186.0s – 1187.0s]
Live more like...
▶ Play
[1187.0s – 1189.0s]
Imagine moving across the world or...
▶ Play
[1189.0s – 1191.0s]
Oh, no.
▶ Play
[1191.0s – 1195.0s]
I hate people like that who take out their mood on everyone.
▶ Play
[1195.0s – 1196.0s]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
▶ Play
[1196.0s – 1198.0s]
And you know people who you're around and you can feel it off them.
▶ Play
[1198.0s – 1200.0s]
You can feel the bad energy.
▶ Play
[1200.0s – 1202.0s]
Yeah, like you feel like teachers.
▶ Play
[1202.0s – 1204.0s]
If you had a moody teacher, they feel like that.
▶ Play
[1204.0s – 1207.0s]
Like you'd all be like, you'd feel that they're not bad mood.
▶ Play
[1207.0s – 1210.0s]
And it would just affect everyone.
▶ Play
[1213.0s – 1214.0s]
How do you tell her?
▶ Play
[1214.0s – 1217.0s]
It's all because you're walking or is that...
▶ Play
[1218.0s – 1221.0s]
Like, because you're obviously even off-going,
▶ Play
[1221.0s – 1223.0s]
we're already party-errant, gonna go.
▶ Play
[1223.0s – 1224.0s]
Realistically.
▶ Play
[1224.0s – 1227.0s]
Yeah, do you just tell her I'm not going anymore?
▶ Play
[1227.0s – 1229.0s]
She's like, I'm not going either.
▶ Play
[1229.0s – 1231.0s]
Then you know, but I'm so good.
▶ Play
[1231.0s – 1233.0s]
So I change my mind.
▶ Play
[1233.0s – 1235.0s]
Does there anyone else you can go with, maybe?
▶ Play
[1235.0s – 1237.0s]
And like, you're going around.
▶ Play
[1237.0s – 1238.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1238.0s – 1242.0s]
And if you wanted to just tell her, like, listen, I'm actually gonna do this myself.
▶ Play
[1242.0s – 1244.0s]
And me, friends along the way or somebody.
▶ Play
[1244.0s – 1245.0s]
Yeah, yeah.
▶ Play
[1245.0s – 1247.0s]
I'm just doing a bit of traveling for us.
▶ Play
[1247.0s – 1250.0s]
I want to challenge myself and try and do it myself.
▶ Play
[1250.0s – 1251.0s]
Yeah, me, yeah.
▶ Play
[1251.0s – 1252.0s]
True.
▶ Play
[1252.0s – 1254.0s]
As a teller, she's being a big black cloud.
▶ Play
[1254.0s – 1256.0s]
And you know, I'm hanging around with her.
▶ Play
[1256.0s – 1258.0s]
I used to have so many of my lifehows.
▶ Play
[1258.0s – 1259.0s]
I used to always call them a black cloud.
▶ Play
[1259.0s – 1260.0s]
Really?
▶ Play
[1260.0s – 1261.0s]
Yeah, you say you were a big black cloud.
▶ Play
[1261.0s – 1263.0s]
You just rain and everyone's parade.
▶ Play
[1263.0s – 1264.0s]
You're just a sour pulse.
▶ Play
[1264.0s – 1266.0s]
That's what you say to me all the time.
▶ Play
[1266.0s – 1267.0s]
Oh.
▶ Play
[1267.0s – 1268.0s]
Just bring the energy down.
▶ Play
[1268.0s – 1270.0s]
It's just a lifehavier.
▶ Play
[1270.0s – 1271.0s]
It's like a dream.
▶ Play
[1271.0s – 1272.0s]
I understand.
▶ Play
[1272.0s – 1273.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1273.0s – 1274.0s]
That's not something you want to be living with.
▶ Play
[1274.0s – 1278.0s]
I'd either tell her you're doing it yourself if you'd rather do it yourself.
▶ Play
[1278.0s – 1279.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1279.0s – 1282.0s]
And maybe because you even do like the travel about yourself.
▶ Play
[1282.0s – 1284.0s]
I'd say you're traveling for a few weeks for her and like, would that be?
▶ Play
[1284.0s – 1285.0s]
You're so nice.
▶ Play
[1285.0s – 1286.0s]
Would you do it with someone?
▶ Play
[1286.0s – 1288.0s]
Yeah, but maybe she wants someone to go to have them without
▶ Play
[1288.0s – 1289.0s]
at least she can get that done.
▶ Play
[1289.0s – 1290.0s]
Oh, get there.
▶ Play
[1290.0s – 1291.0s]
And get there by yourself for some.
▶ Play
[1291.0s – 1292.0s]
Okay, yeah.
▶ Play
[1292.0s – 1295.0s]
But she ruined the balls with the death of her own.
▶ Play
[1295.0s – 1296.0s]
She ruined the balls.
▶ Play
[1296.0s – 1299.0s]
But it's taking me people on the way of traveling.
▶ Play
[1299.0s – 1301.0s]
Yeah, so she might ruin it even more.
▶ Play
[1302.0s – 1303.0s]
She might get my dress.
▶ Play
[1303.0s – 1304.0s]
Let's see if you can make it for her.
▶ Play
[1304.0s – 1305.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1305.0s – 1306.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1306.0s – 1307.0s]
God, that is a pickle.
▶ Play
[1307.0s – 1309.0s]
That is a pickle.
▶ Play
[1309.0s – 1312.0s]
So a pickle.
▶ Play
[1312.0s – 1314.0s]
I think maybe just tell her you'd rather do it in your own.
▶ Play
[1314.0s – 1315.0s]
You want to challenge yourself and just.
▶ Play
[1315.0s – 1316.0s]
Yeah, if you can.
▶ Play
[1316.0s – 1318.0s]
Take on the journey yourself.
▶ Play
[1318.0s – 1321.0s]
Or have someone else to go, which is be like.
▶ Play
[1321.0s – 1322.0s]
Oh, here.
▶ Play
[1322.0s – 1323.0s]
Yes.
▶ Play
[1323.0s – 1324.0s]
Or else move jobs.
▶ Play
[1324.0s – 1326.0s]
Like it's someone like that really a loss.
▶ Play
[1326.0s – 1329.0s]
If she goes to your bitch, I'm not going to graduate anymore because you wouldn't come with me.
▶ Play
[1330.0s – 1332.0s]
Is that really last like she'd say thank God.
▶ Play
[1332.0s – 1333.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1333.0s – 1334.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1334.0s – 1336.0s]
She seems like not great.
▶ Play
[1336.0s – 1339.0s]
You're already noticed in red flags offer.
▶ Play
[1339.0s – 1341.0s]
Yeah, it's only going to get worse.
▶ Play
[1341.0s – 1344.0s]
I think if you can go alone.
▶ Play
[1344.0s – 1348.0s]
Judge, if you have someone else you could go with and.
▶ Play
[1348.0s – 1351.0s]
I wouldn't go for the sake of it just because if she's the only resting girl and you don't go alone.
▶ Play
[1351.0s – 1352.0s]
I wouldn't go with her.
▶ Play
[1352.0s – 1353.0s]
I was for the sake of it.
▶ Play
[1353.0s – 1354.0s]
Nothing at all.
▶ Play
[1354.0s – 1355.0s]
Not for the Australian.
▶ Play
[1355.0s – 1356.0s]
No.
▶ Play
[1356.0s – 1357.0s]
No.
▶ Play
[1357.0s – 1358.0s]
I was outside the planet.
▶ Play
[1358.0s – 1359.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1359.0s – 1362.0s]
If you're really lonely, if you have someone who you're not enjoying the company.
▶ Play
[1362.0s – 1363.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1363.0s – 1364.0s]
At least you have actually a good friend.
▶ Play
[1364.0s – 1365.0s]
You probably wouldn't feel like that.
▶ Play
[1365.0s – 1368.0s]
But someone like that is probably probably feel lonely to be around.
▶ Play
[1368.0s – 1369.0s]
It will ruin your time there.
▶ Play
[1369.0s – 1370.0s]
Your heart of experience.
▶ Play
[1370.0s – 1371.0s]
I would like to.
▶ Play
[1371.0s – 1372.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1372.0s – 1373.0s]
Exactly.
▶ Play
[1373.0s – 1374.0s]
So try and scrap her.
▶ Play
[1374.0s – 1376.0s]
The next one we have then is.
▶ Play
[1376.0s – 1377.0s]
Hi girls.
▶ Play
[1377.0s – 1378.0s]
First of all, I love you.
▶ Play
[1378.0s – 1379.0s]
And the podcast so much.
▶ Play
[1379.0s – 1381.0s]
It gets me through anxious times.
▶ Play
[1381.0s – 1386.0s]
This isn't much of a dilemma, but just something that's been playing on my mind recently and often makes me upset.
▶ Play
[1386.0s – 1391.0s]
So basically I'm in a group of six girls and we all get on so well and are all so close.
▶ Play
[1391.0s – 1394.0s]
However, I feel as though I don't have a best friend.
▶ Play
[1394.0s – 1397.0s]
Two of the girls in the group are really close.
▶ Play
[1397.0s – 1399.0s]
Tell each other everything and do everything together.
▶ Play
[1399.0s – 1402.0s]
Another two girls in the group have been friends since they were children.
▶ Play
[1402.0s – 1406.0s]
So obviously have much of a stronger relationship than anyone in the rest of the group.
▶ Play
[1406.0s – 1409.0s]
Me and the other girl in the group obviously get on so well and I love her.
▶ Play
[1409.0s – 1411.0s]
But she doesn't treat me as a best friend.
▶ Play
[1411.0s – 1414.0s]
She's always with her boyfriend, which is completely fair.
▶ Play
[1414.0s – 1417.0s]
But I barely see her and she doesn't text ever.
▶ Play
[1417.0s – 1420.0s]
I feel like I'm the odd one out in the group and don't know how to turn.
▶ Play
[1420.0s – 1423.0s]
I don't know who to turn to if I have a problem.
▶ Play
[1423.0s – 1425.0s]
It's hard for you and the other girls so close.
▶ Play
[1425.0s – 1427.0s]
They would never leave me out of plans or anything.
▶ Play
[1427.0s – 1432.0s]
And in no way are they mean to me, but it just makes me upset that I don't have someone.
▶ Play
[1432.0s – 1435.0s]
And that thinks of me as their first choice.
▶ Play
[1435.0s – 1438.0s]
I've tried saying it to the multiple times, but never changes.
▶ Play
[1438.0s – 1441.0s]
It's been like this for over eight years of friendship.
▶ Play
[1441.0s – 1443.0s]
I've tried to advise them what to do.
▶ Play
[1443.0s – 1445.0s]
We appreciate it.
▶ Play
[1445.0s – 1449.0s]
That's so hard because you can't make someone here.
▶ Play
[1449.0s – 1454.0s]
Especially in a group like that.
▶ Play
[1454.0s – 1459.0s]
There are going to be people who I'm in a group of six.
▶ Play
[1459.0s – 1464.0s]
And some of the girls be closer than others.
▶ Play
[1464.0s – 1467.0s]
But like she said, like, no one's ever been to each other.
▶ Play
[1467.0s – 1469.0s]
They just naturally.
▶ Play
[1469.0s – 1471.0s]
It's always going to be like that.
▶ Play
[1471.0s – 1473.0s]
That's naturally going to happen.
▶ Play
[1473.0s – 1479.0s]
But I don't think, I don't think don't focus on not being someone's first choice.
▶ Play
[1479.0s – 1482.0s]
And maybe it's a thing of like it's been eight years and feeling like that.
▶ Play
[1482.0s – 1486.0s]
Like maybe it's like you could have that as a group, but also branch out.
▶ Play
[1486.0s – 1487.0s]
What are we?
▶ Play
[1487.0s – 1490.0s]
And find someone who would pick you as their first choice.
▶ Play
[1490.0s – 1492.0s]
You're never two hours of my friends.
▶ Play
[1492.0s – 1494.0s]
Because that's what makes it like a friend.
▶ Play
[1494.0s – 1497.0s]
It's probably a school friendship because of the like how long your friends.
▶ Play
[1497.0s – 1499.0s]
Like sometimes school you don't happen to me.
▶ Play
[1499.0s – 1501.0s]
You just don't happen to meet your best best friends.
▶ Play
[1501.0s – 1502.0s]
You're kind of sometimes.
▶ Play
[1502.0s – 1507.0s]
Not that you're forced to hang around with each other, but like I feel like.
▶ Play
[1507.0s – 1510.0s]
In school, you're young as well.
▶ Play
[1510.0s – 1512.0s]
You can actually all kind of come together.
▶ Play
[1512.0s – 1514.0s]
And yet only me is sick about you.
▶ Play
[1514.0s – 1518.0s]
Yeah, there's only a few who wanted something in your year or whatever it is.
▶ Play
[1518.0s – 1521.0s]
That's not you're not guaranteed to find a best best friend in there.
▶ Play
[1521.0s – 1523.0s]
Don't be too arrogant yourself over that.
▶ Play
[1524.0s – 1529.0s]
I'm just guessing she's like a certain skill, but like I think when you go to college and stuff you might find.
▶ Play
[1529.0s – 1531.0s]
People are like start work or a new job.
▶ Play
[1531.0s – 1535.0s]
Like you might find people that would pick you as their first choice in air.
▶ Play
[1535.0s – 1536.0s]
Like tap it nice.
▶ Play
[1536.0s – 1537.0s]
It ain't appreciate you more.
▶ Play
[1537.0s – 1538.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1538.0s – 1543.0s]
I don't think it's the case of not like you said obviously you love your friends and stuff like not.
▶ Play
[1543.0s – 1548.0s]
Not wanting to be friends with them, but I don't really out that like you can't have other people in your life as well.
▶ Play
[1548.0s – 1549.0s]
Yeah, exactly.
▶ Play
[1549.0s – 1550.0s]
And there's nothing wrong with that.
▶ Play
[1550.0s – 1554.0s]
It's a bit short though that she said of some and they were like me and unchanged.
▶ Play
[1554.0s – 1560.0s]
But it's also like you can't it's not the same if you force someone to do to act a certain way.
▶ Play
[1560.0s – 1561.0s]
Yeah, and it treats purpose.
▶ Play
[1561.0s – 1562.0s]
You're like, okay, what's the point?
▶ Play
[1562.0s – 1566.0s]
Like even having to say it like I know obviously you should be a surely best friend of everything,
▶ Play
[1566.0s – 1569.0s]
but like you should have to say that multiple times like you like she said.
▶ Play
[1569.0s – 1570.0s]
No.
▶ Play
[1570.0s – 1572.0s]
No, I agree.
▶ Play
[1572.0s – 1576.0s]
We hope you're okay and you'll find your person.
▶ Play
[1576.0s – 1577.0s]
You will.
▶ Play
[1577.0s – 1578.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1578.0s – 1581.0s]
And it's so nice to have a group, even if you don't feel like you're someone's number one.
▶ Play
[1581.0s – 1584.0s]
Having a group with girls to be able to go.
▶ Play
[1584.0s – 1585.0s]
Yeah, yeah.
▶ Play
[1585.0s – 1586.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1586.0s – 1592.0s]
So we have an email address where you can send your dilemmas to if you want to give us updates or a news lemus
▶ Play
[1592.0s – 1595.0s]
or give advice to someone else's dilemma as well.
▶ Play
[1595.0s – 1596.0s]
That was fun.
▶ Play
[1596.0s – 1600.0s]
A new episode of sorry, the email is howmydrinkacrot.gov.com.
▶ Play
[1600.0s – 1604.0s]
New episode of how my drink ex-juice coming every one day and I may not have so through it on Wednesdays.
▶ Play
[1604.0s – 1606.0s]
Thank you for my response in this episode.
▶ Play
[1606.0s – 1607.0s]
We love you.
▶ Play
[1607.0s – 1608.0s]
We love you too.
▶ Play
[1608.0s – 1611.0s]
Make sure to like, rate, subscribe and we'll see you all Wednesdays.
▶ Play
[1611.0s – 1612.0s]
See you then.
▶ Play
[1612.0s – 1613.0s]
Love you.
▶ Play
[1613.0s – 1614.0s]
Bye.
▶ Play
[1614.0s – 1617.0s]
Hold my drink, ex-reduce with Charlene and Ellie.
▶ Play
[1617.0s – 1620.0s]
A go-laid original podcast.
▶ Play
[1620.0s – 1628.0s]
Proudly sponsored by Panys, whether it's stylish savings and new double snuddy, gym gear, or some beauty bits you're looking for.
▶ Play
[1628.0s – 1631.0s]
Panys is the ultimate high street destination.
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