EXTRA JUICE: "I am terrified to let my guard down and become serious with anyone..." #40
Hold My Drink
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Transcript
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Hold my drink, extra juice, with Charline and Ellie.
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I go light a written-up podcast,
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proudly supported by pennies.
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Get this season's must-haves in a store near you.
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Welcome to our drink, extra juice.
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Today's episode's Connie's sponsored by Primarker pennies,
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the Ultimate Housey Destination.
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Thus everything you need,
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this January to make it your year, your way.
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Penny's Primarker is the Ultimate Housey Destination store
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that we all love and adore.
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I'm a poet, didn't know it.
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As we all feel the post-Christmas pinch,
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Penny's help is many as possible
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to afford small joys in her day's say-lives.
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That's embraced the everyday,
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but also remember to treat ourselves
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and to those sound-up pieces that make us look great
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and feel amazing, the amazing, Jim Girith moment
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that you feel great in.
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And when you feel good, you do a good work.
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I change everything.
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Do you want to mention your shirt for bed sheets
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that I have stopped caring about?
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I got a shirt for bed sheets and pennies,
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and I had to get another set of them
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because I was like, I need one on a rotation.
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I can't sleep, but no, I'm not a bed sheet anymore.
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No, but I'll say, he's sleeping in,
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so maybe I should not have them.
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Because it's so, I got a shirt for fit of sheet,
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and I got into bed, I was like,
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and you know when you feel young depends,
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cold the first day, it wasn't cold.
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Oh, it was like getting to a little pocket.
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It was the wound.
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Yeah, that's what I was like.
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It was lovely.
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With it, stylish savings, a new double snowy new Jim Girith,
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like Shirley said, or new beauty bits that you're looking for,
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they literally have it all.
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Published at store now, you know,
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Penny's the ultimate destination that has everything you need.
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This January to make it your way,
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you can log on to www.primerct.com for such a eat,
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check out all the pieces beforehand.
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So we have an update from last week's bonus episode.
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If you've listened to that, if you haven't, go back here.
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Oh, so this is only a fresh update.
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Fresh.
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So we answered the dilemma.
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The dilemma was I have two side hustles on top of my-
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Oh, remember this.
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Yeah.
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And I was like, oh, maybe it's, I don't know.
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I was matching thought it was a sexual side.
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I don't know.
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I'm very sorry.
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I hope I didn't offend you.
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So side hustles that I aged out with two years ago,
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and it's treating to expensive products,
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and side hustles of bees is service at no products
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or anything only started this two weeks ago.
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She has a friend, especially one,
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who just assumes she doesn't pay for anything,
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especially for side hustles of bees
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as it comes at no cost to me.
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So started my business page for this one,
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and she texted me asked and called,
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I do for her without even following her share
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my new business page.
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I did so under girls, and she was like, WTF.
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So side hustles are a, when I do this for her,
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she'll just cover the product cost,
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which is fine when I start two years ago,
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as I needed practice,
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but now still doesn't even offer anything.
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But I'm still just more annoyed the fact
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that she had the balls to ask me to side hustles
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of me without even a follow.
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As a lot of clients are with me Instagram,
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so that actually doesn't mean more to me than payment.
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I also did a giveaway, and she didn't even acknowledge it.
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As a friend, I would share anything to support my girls.
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The update is, hey, girls,
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he's having a held and trying to guess the side hustles.
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So before I tell you my jobs,
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your episode just came out with my friend,
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followed my business page,
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lol, don't know if she listened,
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or just pure coincidence, lol.
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So my two side hustles are,
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hairdressing and a psychic medium and a raky heat.
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Oh, wow.
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Wow, what did we guess again?
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Um, I think I just thought of something sexual.
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I don't know.
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I think no products just the service.
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I think I said an organizer was a service.
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Oh, yeah, yeah.
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Oh, I'm very sorry if I offended you.
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Hope I didn't put, wow.
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I would have never thought that she,
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yeah, you don't need any products for us.
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Yeah, you don't need any products.
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Just you and your beautiful brand.
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Yes, yeah.
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You're a special brand.
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Well, and we have a psychic rating.
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Yeah, you're a little fun.
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Very heat.
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I've never done a, have you ever done a raky?
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Yeah, I'm a raky one.
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Have you ever?
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Yeah, I've never met my girls are hooked on it.
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Really?
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Oh, they find it amazing.
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Yeah.
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I don't know, I don't know if it's because it's on on it.
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It wasn't so.
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But now the girls go to this woman's house
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and like, I think one of the girls would tell me a few years
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rather she did it and like, she was just
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barren and crying, but in the best way.
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Like, it just releases so much out here.
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And yeah, it's amazing.
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Oh, you do, it's so tough.
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But the friend followed?
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Very good.
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Yeah.
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I don't know if she lives.
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I love to get a psychic rating.
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And I love going to any psychics.
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No, I'm free.
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No, I'm not.
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Love, no.
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I don't think that's something you should dabble in.
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Really?
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I'm just worried about that.
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No, that's more like ghost than I was bad, Dublin.
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I wouldn't do Dublin there.
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Medium was just telling nice things with the future.
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You really have to tell you nice things.
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They're not Italian bad, no.
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They're not allowed?
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Oh, but then I'd want to know if it was something bad.
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I think it's like, I hit by a bus tomorrow.
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They can't tell me that.
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Don't leave.
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Everything's going to happen either way.
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What's point?
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It's right.
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I don't know.
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We're going to hit by a bus tomorrow.
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Yeah, it wouldn't stand in front of the bus.
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Yeah, but fate is man making it.
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I think there's a way that we're all just going to die.
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Like, mad, isn't it?
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I think there's like the plan though.
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Yeah.
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I hope my head if I say something.
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Yeah, no.
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I'm going to read it well.
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Get into this week's Seagal's.
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The lemons of Alpencent, two-way email address, which is home.
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I drink aco.lowofnow.com.
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And these are quite long.
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So get your listing areas on.
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First one is I've been a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now.
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After we were in a relationship in primary skill.
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We lost contact after secondary skill years.
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And I know, I'm even happier than ever.
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We live in the same area and our family is known for her as long as I can remember.
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So I've always known that his man was a bit of a handful.
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I don't know.
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When we got together last year, I was terrified of what she'd think of me or she'd even
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like me at all because if she didn't like you, she really doesn't like you.
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My boyfriend is a mommy's boy and I don't have a problem with that.
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But she can be very bitchy about my boyfriend's brother's partner and often speaks about her
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and front of me.
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A few times even his dad has come out when reassured me that she doesn't speak about
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me like that when I'm not around.
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It worries me what she says about my back or if she's just putting on a show of liking
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me to my face as I know she plays such an important role in my boyfriend's life.
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She can ask me very invasive in our relationship wanting to know everything about everything.
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Last year we booked our first holiday together for the two of us and three weeks later I
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found out she had booked to go to the exact same place for the exact same dates after we
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had booked.
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She just needs to be involved in everything.
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I really am sorry to compare it to my boyfriend at the top of this going on for years.
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I've mentioned it to my boyfriend before and he reassures me that she genuinely does
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a pre-love of me but I can't bring myself to bring up the conversation about her being
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so invasive as I know he's so close to her and I don't want to cause trouble.
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It's an awkward situation and I'm not really sure where to turn to next.
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I love him so much and I don't want to lose him having something like this.
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Any advice we really appreciate at least in the podcast every week of my college.
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Thank you.
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It's an awkward one because you don't want to like you need to also remember like it.
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It's as my.
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It's as my yeah.
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Her book on the same holiday as the book and word.
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Maybe he invited her on the slide.
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That's even worse.
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What would you say?
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It's all hard to say things without a pen and you're going to have to say real.
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Yeah, real defensive then.
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If you say here isn't it but weird at your own book the same dates.
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Could you suggest change the holiday destination or is that really bad?
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Could you say a little white line but I actually feel somewhere better.
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Yeah, I was looking all when the girls were saying she went to her like it's so much nicer
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than it is.
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But I think as well because you're in a different secondary skill.
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I know, it's after that.
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Because you're in the same area I'm guessing you still all live there that's more but
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like if he's ever were to move out of the area so if he probably wouldn't feed that
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as much.
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But you're probably always around her and obviously her talk about the boyfriends brother's
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partner gives you anxiety because you're like oh god she's probably saying all that
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about me.
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But I don't think I feel like if you're saying that she's like you she really doesn't like
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She probably would you know.
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Yeah, she knows you didn't like that.
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It wouldn't be a thing of your like guessing about it.
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I don't know.
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Could you say something like her or I don't like a fender like her or I don't like a
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awkward but you know I think that you keep her a little bit more to herself.
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Yeah, don't even say about the man.
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I'm just like I'm just not really like tell family and stuff.
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Yeah, say it on both sides.
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Yeah, both.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Or even could you pretend like your mom is asking something like I wasn't telling her
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like so I kind of want to keep it like between us.
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So like that.
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Yeah.
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And bad things were just stuff that people don't need to know about like.
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So like I then the whole day I think it's just just to go somewhere else.
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Like if you're really comfortable with a man like you just have a really old relationship
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between you and him.
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I say it to him then.
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Yeah.
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Like your mom is doing way too much.
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Yeah, I love her but she's doing that.
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No, that's that's a bit much for me now.
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Yeah, I just feel like I really actually love your mom but I just feel like she's
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like the third whale in the room.
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Yeah.
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Feel like I'm waiting for your mom.
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Yeah.
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I like how mad can he actually go?
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Is there from a certain drone terrace?
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We hope.
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You know what I mean?
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Like he might be a little bit like pissed off like surely he feels that as well.
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Maybe just the closer he was and say it, but surely he'd feel that so.
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You would?
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Yeah.
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I think say it to him in a sense of way and yeah we react and kind of go from there.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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The next one is Hi Sheldon Nellie.
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Just want to say I love the podcast.
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I'm sorry, nothing more.
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I love to go for a long drive and listen to your podcast.
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Thank you.
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Me and my boyfriend were going out for two and a half years and everything was brilliant.
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I was in college and he was working or he was at home working.
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One night he went out with his mates away from home and he kissed another girl.
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He told me the trail that I contacted the other girl and it was confirmed.
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It was just a stupid, extremely drunk and kiss.
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[589.0s – 593.9s]
As much as I didn't want to end things I did for my own sake as I simply couldn't trust him.
▶ Play
[593.9s – 597.8s]
Even though he genuinely was so good to me and honestly one of my best friends it wasn't
▶ Play
[597.8s – 603.0s]
fair in either of us fast forward a year of me being single and healing long story short
▶ Play
[603.0s – 604.4s]
we got back together.
▶ Play
[604.4s – 606.7s]
We took things slow and everything honestly was great.
▶ Play
[606.7s – 611.6s]
I was fully over what he did and can safely say we had such a healthy special relationship.
▶ Play
[611.6s – 613.6s]
However lately I'm starting to overthink.
▶ Play
[613.6s – 619.2s]
He was never ever good for going on his phone and I so and I respect that as he's with
▶ Play
[619.2s – 623.9s]
his friends and I know when I'm out I don't be the best for my phone either as it's normal.
▶ Play
[624.4s – 627.5s]
But also a few texts sometimes times keep each other updated.
▶ Play
[627.5s – 628.7s]
Goes without saying.
▶ Play
[628.7s – 630.5s]
However now I get none of that.
▶ Play
[630.5s – 632.2s]
He hasn't known anything that stands out.
▶ Play
[632.2s – 635.3s]
However I can't stop thinking about the cheat in episode all of a sudden.
▶ Play
[635.3s – 640.5s]
Something is telling me in my gut that something else has happened but I also could be extremely
▶ Play
[640.5s – 641.5s]
paranoid.
▶ Play
[641.5s – 645.4s]
I think the fact that I was told straight away and how I reacted by anything and now
▶ Play
[645.4s – 649.6s]
back together God forbid if something is happening he's not going to tell me.
▶ Play
[649.6s – 654.6s]
So let's come oh do let's come clean and admit that they've cheated or do we have to
▶ Play
[654.6s – 659.0s]
investigate love the both of you do they come clean?
▶ Play
[659.0s – 661.6s]
No Jesus no.
▶ Play
[661.6s – 664.2s]
Cry you know even when you have solid proof in front of you.
▶ Play
[664.2s – 666.2s]
That wasn't me.
▶ Play
[666.2s – 667.6s]
I didn't do that.
▶ Play
[667.6s – 670.8s]
Yeah no.
▶ Play
[670.8s – 676.2s]
But I do think you can even if it's with the same person sorry I'm just stretching here
▶ Play
[676.2s – 679.1s]
even if it's with the same person.
▶ Play
[679.1s – 680.1s]
Oh that was long.
▶ Play
[680.1s – 681.1s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[681.1s – 682.1s]
Oh did you hear that?
▶ Play
[682.1s – 683.1s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[683.1s – 684.1s]
You're back.
▶ Play
[684.1s – 685.1s]
It's delicious.
▶ Play
[685.1s – 688.6s]
I do think you can bring like I said even if it's with the same person like if you do
▶ Play
[688.6s – 695.8s]
break up and get back together you can bring paranoia from past experiences into another
▶ Play
[695.8s – 697.2s]
relationship again like course.
▶ Play
[697.2s – 698.8s]
Yeah yeah yeah.
▶ Play
[698.8s – 702.6s]
I think if something something like cheat or something like that happens in a relationship
▶ Play
[702.6s – 704.2s]
you'll always carry it into your next one.
▶ Play
[704.2s – 705.2s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[705.2s – 706.2s]
But that's what I mean.
▶ Play
[706.2s – 709.6s]
I mean even in circumstances if it's with someone else if it's with someone else.
▶ Play
[709.6s – 710.6s]
If it's with someone else.
▶ Play
[711.6s – 713.9s]
Any trust issues will be carried out.
▶ Play
[713.9s – 716.2s]
Oh carried just like a mask carry over the wall.
▶ Play
[716.2s – 717.2s]
Yeah carry over yeah.
▶ Play
[717.2s – 718.2s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[718.2s – 719.8s]
You'll always be that a little bit more paranoid.
▶ Play
[719.8s – 720.8s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[720.8s – 728.0s]
So it's not like it's not necessarily that I'm saying like yeah he's running again.
▶ Play
[728.0s – 732.2s]
But it also could be because you do have those trust issues with him.
▶ Play
[732.2s – 734.4s]
Not your nail screw when I was in every little thing.
▶ Play
[734.4s – 735.4s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[735.4s – 736.4s]
Whereas before you didn't because you had no reason actually.
▶ Play
[736.4s – 737.4s]
Yeah yeah.
▶ Play
[737.4s – 740.4s]
You're overthinking everything now because you're just automatically thinking oh god he's
▶ Play
[740.4s – 741.4s]
done it again.
▶ Play
[741.4s – 743.2s]
I think if he's the type person that did come clean.
▶ Play
[743.2s – 745.0s]
Do you think you do it again?
▶ Play
[745.0s – 746.0s]
Come to it.
▶ Play
[746.0s – 747.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[747.0s – 749.0s]
But she's afraid that he won't because of how she reacts.
▶ Play
[749.0s – 750.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[750.0s – 751.0s]
He'll break up.
▶ Play
[751.0s – 752.0s]
She'll break up with him again.
▶ Play
[752.0s – 753.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[753.0s – 754.0s]
That's my fear as a bull.
▶ Play
[754.0s – 757.9s]
No I think he hasn't if he hasn't done that in the standout like she said.
▶ Play
[757.9s – 760.8s]
It's just that you can't stop thinking right before like it's just.
▶ Play
[760.8s – 763.5s]
I don't know.
▶ Play
[763.5s – 767.4s]
I think he might just have nice your guck and me confused by like just you being part
▶ Play
[767.4s – 768.4s]
of my front before.
▶ Play
[768.4s – 769.4s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[769.4s – 770.4s]
Because he felt that feeling before.
▶ Play
[770.4s – 771.4s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[771.4s – 776.8s]
And then you're like oh I didn't know at the time so maybe like it is happened again.
▶ Play
[776.8s – 784.0s]
I think you might just have to maybe start to relearn how to trust him maybe.
▶ Play
[784.0s – 785.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[785.0s – 788.4s]
And even talk to him about it just be like look it's not going to be as easy like I
▶ Play
[788.4s – 792.2s]
still remember that and like I need you to maybe communicate with you more and I
▶ Play
[792.2s – 793.5s]
tell you that's what I need from you.
▶ Play
[793.5s – 794.5s]
Give me the peace of mind.
▶ Play
[794.5s – 796.5s]
I think anyone who's in that position would be like.
▶ Play
[796.5s – 797.5s]
They don't understand.
▶ Play
[797.5s – 798.5s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[798.5s – 800.9s]
I understand because like what I don't do like that you'd feel this way like I'll do
▶ Play
[800.9s – 802.3s]
that and to make you trust me again.
▶ Play
[802.3s – 803.3s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[803.3s – 807.8s]
I think it's one of those but I think I wouldn't assume the worst and I wouldn't if you
▶ Play
[807.8s – 808.8s]
can investigate.
▶ Play
[809.8s – 813.5s]
But I'll see my go down and rebel how I look like.
▶ Play
[813.5s – 814.5s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[814.5s – 815.5s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[815.8s – 819.9s]
You look for something that you want to believe is true when it might not even meet you
▶ Play
[819.9s – 820.9s]
know what I mean.
▶ Play
[820.9s – 821.9s]
Exactly.
▶ Play
[821.9s – 822.9s]
Exactly.
▶ Play
[822.9s – 823.9s]
Next one is hi girls.
▶ Play
[823.9s – 826.4s]
First day I want to say thank you so much for doing this podcast.
▶ Play
[826.4s – 829.6s]
I come from into words him which is helping me in a re-directime and you've really opened
▶ Play
[829.6s – 830.6s]
yourself up.
▶ Play
[830.6s – 832.6s]
I was so relatable to so many girls out there.
▶ Play
[832.6s – 835.5s]
Oh I've been single now for five and a half years.
▶ Play
[835.5s – 836.5s]
Five and a half months.
▶ Play
[836.5s – 839.5s]
And to say I've been a rebel to have several emotions is an understatement.
▶ Play
[839.5s – 842.9s]
It was at my ex for almost three years and I came home from a night out one night and
▶ Play
[842.9s – 846.5s]
he ended things that me whilst I was drunk and said he hadn't loved me for months and
▶ Play
[846.5s – 850.0s]
since I haven't heard one word from Jesus Christ.
▶ Play
[850.0s – 853.2s]
Feel the way you end things is very calculated and almost a bit evil with some of the things
▶ Play
[853.2s – 854.2s]
he said to me.
▶ Play
[854.2s – 858.4s]
However someone should end and towards him as I feel the way his moment and sister got
▶ Play
[858.4s – 862.3s]
involved in a breakup saying he wasn't happy for months and I really affected his mental
▶ Play
[862.3s – 863.3s]
health.
▶ Play
[863.3s – 864.8s]
I should just let him go.
▶ Play
[864.8s – 866.7s]
It really got to me and I'm constantly thinking about it.
▶ Play
[866.7s – 870.0s]
I know I would have wanted to say in a relationship where he wasn't happy but I can't stop thinking
▶ Play
[870.0s – 873.6s]
about the what ifs because I genuinely saw myself spend the rest of my life with him.
▶ Play
[873.6s – 876.8s]
He was back on Tinder today after we split and this genuinely broke me.
▶ Play
[876.8s – 879.4s]
As I said I've not heard one thing from him since we split and I feel he's getting
▶ Play
[879.4s – 882.9s]
on with his life cope and just fine where I struggled and see how I was going to get
▶ Play
[882.9s – 884.9s]
to the next day and nevermind now.
▶ Play
[884.9s – 885.9s]
But I got here.
▶ Play
[885.9s – 886.9s]
Woohoo!
▶ Play
[886.9s – 890.2s]
As for it a couple months I had started seeing this other boy seven years older and had a
▶ Play
[890.2s – 891.2s]
child.
▶ Play
[891.2s – 895.0s]
I knew in the back of my head it wouldn't work as he had his child a lot and there wasn't
▶ Play
[895.0s – 896.4s]
a lot of time made for us.
▶ Play
[896.4s – 899.6s]
I saw past this for a bit and things were going well.
▶ Play
[899.6s – 902.5s]
I had a go feeling one night when I went out with my friend and ended up seeing him with
▶ Play
[902.5s – 903.5s]
another girl.
▶ Play
[903.5s – 907.2s]
Like I've run into him and he never even replied to me to the message which resulted in
▶ Play
[907.2s – 910.6s]
me blocking him even though I don't even see him a few months.
▶ Play
[910.6s – 913.6s]
I really think the sense of my confidence.
▶ Play
[913.6s – 918.5s]
I have a few good friends who are all in relationships and I feel I may be born and
▶ Play
[918.5s – 919.5s]
we talk and how I feel.
▶ Play
[919.5s – 923.2s]
I do feel like I am almost damaged with the way I have been treated and I'm always
▶ Play
[923.2s – 926.0s]
known for this being a strong friend who everyone goes to for advice.
▶ Play
[926.0s – 929.3s]
However I'm feeling super isolated and go to bed most nights very early and try to
▶ Play
[929.3s – 932.8s]
sleep early so I'm not most of the night all full of sat and all around which I feel
▶ Play
[932.8s – 933.8s]
I'm going to do.
▶ Play
[933.8s – 937.6s]
A few boys are trying to speak into me and I'm trying but I feel I'm terrified to let
▶ Play
[937.6s – 942.6s]
my guard down because something serious become the guard down because something serious
▶ Play
[942.6s – 945.7s]
with anyone doing the past things that have happened to me, the possible heartbreak that
▶ Play
[945.7s – 946.7s]
comes along with it.
▶ Play
[946.7s – 949.6s]
Any advice I really appreciate, thank you girls for everything you do for us and your
▶ Play
[949.6s – 950.6s]
podcast family.
▶ Play
[950.6s – 951.6s]
You're so cute.
▶ Play
[951.6s – 952.6s]
I love you.
▶ Play
[952.6s – 961.4s]
It's hard when you have been hurt to ever see yourself letting your guard down and you
▶ Play
[961.4s – 962.4s]
will.
▶ Play
[962.4s – 963.4s]
You will.
▶ Play
[963.4s – 965.4s]
You'll get there and tell me you will.
▶ Play
[965.4s – 966.8s]
How do you think?
▶ Play
[966.8s – 971.8s]
Do you think it just happens that you kind of let down or do you think it needs to be
▶ Play
[971.8s – 973.4s]
someone nice to make you let down?
▶ Play
[973.4s – 977.4s]
No, I think it just happens and one day you'll catch yourself being like, oh my god.
▶ Play
[977.4s – 978.4s]
Certified?
▶ Play
[978.4s – 987.4s]
I remember going through days of being like, like, cooking it out of the bed or like I
▶ Play
[987.4s – 991.1s]
remember driving in the car and sobbing in the car being like, I'm never going to get
▶ Play
[991.1s – 992.1s]
over this pain.
▶ Play
[992.1s – 993.1s]
I, yeah.
▶ Play
[993.1s – 996.0s]
And it was only in the car and the way it was to drive that way.
▶ Play
[996.0s – 1000.0s]
I think it was only in the car and the way today over when I was coming to lecture you.
▶ Play
[1000.0s – 1002.0s]
I was like, you silly bitch.
▶ Play
[1002.0s – 1004.2s]
No, but you have to go through that.
▶ Play
[1004.2s – 1007.4s]
Yeah, but think of back to being like, I can't believe I was in that mind frame thinking
▶ Play
[1007.4s – 1009.8s]
I, I never, ever going to get better.
▶ Play
[1009.8s – 1012.2s]
Yeah, I'd never get past this point.
▶ Play
[1012.2s – 1016.4s]
Like you really do think it is the end of the world when you're in that headspace.
▶ Play
[1016.4s – 1021.6s]
I'm coming from where I'm looking at it or coming from the place where I'm at now.
▶ Play
[1021.6s – 1022.6s]
Mm hmm.
▶ Play
[1022.6s – 1023.6s]
Nightingale.
▶ Play
[1023.6s – 1024.6s]
Bitch, we thriving.
▶ Play
[1024.6s – 1025.6s]
Mm hmm.
▶ Play
[1025.6s – 1026.6s]
All good.
▶ Play
[1026.6s – 1027.6s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1027.6s – 1028.6s]
And you will, you do.
▶ Play
[1028.6s – 1029.6s]
You get past it.
▶ Play
[1029.6s – 1030.6s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1030.6s – 1032.7s]
But you will hold onto some of those trust issues and stuff.
▶ Play
[1032.7s – 1035.8s]
Like if you have, like I know you think, don't ever call yourself damaged.
▶ Play
[1035.8s – 1036.8s]
You're not damaged.
▶ Play
[1036.8s – 1041.5s]
And also not always the bad thing, like obviously trust issues aren't great, but like it's
▶ Play
[1041.5s – 1043.3s]
good to not be naive to things as well.
▶ Play
[1043.3s – 1044.3s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1044.3s – 1047.4s]
Like you're dead wide to things and like you know the Warren and signs, like that's good.
▶ Play
[1047.4s – 1049.6s]
You get some good things out of bad experiences as well.
▶ Play
[1049.6s – 1053.1s]
Oh, you like lessons, lessons, 100% yes.
▶ Play
[1053.1s – 1055.8s]
And as well, it's like, do you ever get when you're cold, you kind of have to imagine
▶ Play
[1055.8s – 1056.8s]
feeling warm again.
▶ Play
[1056.8s – 1057.8s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1057.8s – 1058.8s]
When you're hot.
▶ Play
[1058.8s – 1059.8s]
It's like that.
▶ Play
[1059.8s – 1060.8s]
When you're sad, you kind of imagine feeling hot.
▶ Play
[1060.8s – 1061.8s]
You got to call that an analogy.
▶ Play
[1061.8s – 1062.8s]
An analogy.
▶ Play
[1062.8s – 1063.8s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1063.8s – 1064.8s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1064.8s – 1066.8s]
So you will feel cold again or hot, whichever one is.
▶ Play
[1066.8s – 1074.4s]
And I think I had a few bad experiences now, not in major, but like when I got single
▶ Play
[1074.4s – 1076.7s]
years, I got 20 or something.
▶ Play
[1076.7s – 1079.8s]
There was a few times around when I was just talking to an over, but like.
▶ Play
[1080.0s – 1083.0s]
You just have to go through shit of it.
▶ Play
[1083.0s – 1088.0s]
It's not always going to be the best person for you to come along.
▶ Play
[1088.0s – 1091.0s]
And you're like, oh, why am I getting all that things?
▶ Play
[1091.0s – 1095.0s]
But you're also learning from them and it's getting closer to the person that is actually mentally.
▶ Play
[1095.0s – 1097.0s]
It'll teach you things about yourself.
▶ Play
[1097.0s – 1098.0s]
Go to fucking frogs.
▶ Play
[1098.0s – 1106.0s]
Not only about yourself, but also about how you want to be treated and what you'll put up with and what you want in a person.
▶ Play
[1106.0s – 1107.0s]
Yeah, exactly.
▶ Play
[1107.0s – 1112.0s]
So I think just taking time alone for a bit.
▶ Play
[1112.0s – 1113.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1113.0s – 1116.0s]
And not only five and a half months, that's not a long time.
▶ Play
[1116.0s – 1117.0s]
No, yeah.
▶ Play
[1117.0s – 1122.0s]
And like try even going to things that aren't serious, maybe they're not looking for something from.
▶ Play
[1122.0s – 1124.0s]
Like casual day and things like that.
▶ Play
[1124.0s – 1125.0s]
I can't do that.
▶ Play
[1125.0s – 1126.0s]
Tinder.
▶ Play
[1126.0s – 1128.0s]
People can't Tinder.
▶ Play
[1128.0s – 1129.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1129.0s – 1131.0s]
But also him going to Tinder.
▶ Play
[1131.0s – 1133.0s]
Like that's what you think to do.
▶ Play
[1133.0s – 1137.0s]
It doesn't mean you didn't know if it's just they act so fucking weird after they break up.
▶ Play
[1137.0s – 1142.0s]
Don't they say that it hits boys so much more after the girl is healed?
▶ Play
[1142.0s – 1145.0s]
The second you're over, it's like, yeah, yeah, they're like, miss you.
▶ Play
[1145.0s – 1147.0s]
Yeah, all the time.
▶ Play
[1147.0s – 1151.0s]
Every man crawls back in one way or another.
▶ Play
[1151.0s – 1154.0s]
So, you know what I mean?
▶ Play
[1154.0s – 1158.0s]
I think don't rush yourself on the walls coming down.
▶ Play
[1158.0s – 1160.0s]
It's not going to be something you can click your fingers when you can.
▶ Play
[1160.0s – 1161.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1161.0s – 1163.0s]
I know I was like, terrible.
▶ Play
[1163.0s – 1164.0s]
I just go to the other side.
▶ Play
[1164.0s – 1167.0s]
And I feel like people think it's silly to go for therapy for problems like that.
▶ Play
[1167.0s – 1168.0s]
What's not?
▶ Play
[1168.0s – 1169.0s]
No.
▶ Play
[1169.0s – 1170.0s]
Not only for like, to be honest, I don't know.
▶ Play
[1170.0s – 1173.0s]
It's like anything you're sad about or like stroking on with.
▶ Play
[1173.0s – 1174.0s]
As well.
▶ Play
[1174.0s – 1175.0s]
We love you.
▶ Play
[1175.0s – 1176.0s]
We love you.
▶ Play
[1176.0s – 1178.0s]
And you're running a kid with an update.
▶ Play
[1178.0s – 1179.0s]
Manifest it in a few months.
▶ Play
[1179.0s – 1181.0s]
And you're going to be.
▶ Play
[1181.0s – 1182.0s]
Try that.
▶ Play
[1182.0s – 1183.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1183.0s – 1184.0s]
And that'll be down.
▶ Play
[1184.0s – 1185.0s]
Yes.
▶ Play
[1185.0s – 1186.0s]
Hi, girls.
▶ Play
[1186.0s – 1187.0s]
I've been single for a while.
▶ Play
[1187.0s – 1190.0s]
I've had situations that I've never slept off my feet.
▶ Play
[1190.0s – 1193.0s]
I've really been longing for the perfect girl man story for a year or so now.
▶ Play
[1193.0s – 1196.0s]
I feel like I've completed the healing stage.
▶ Play
[1196.0s – 1199.0s]
I feel like I've completed the healing stage.
▶ Play
[1199.0s – 1200.0s]
And everyone around me is wiped.
▶ Play
[1200.0s – 1202.0s]
And I'm still here waiting for Mr. Wright.
▶ Play
[1202.0s – 1203.0s]
I find it pretty hard to catch feelings.
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[1203.0s – 1207.0s]
I love being loved by boys more than loving them, my friends say.
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[1207.0s – 1210.0s]
I went to the medium and she said a lot of stuff that was scary.
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[1210.0s – 1214.0s]
But what makes me believe what she said about my future is that she said I'll meet someone
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[1214.0s – 1216.0s]
in work by the end of October 2022.
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[1216.0s – 1221.0s]
And if a red car had any meaning to me, I said no, so she said that it may be have something
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[1221.0s – 1222.0s]
to do in my future.
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[1222.0s – 1227.0s]
This didn't make any sense as I work with no one my age in a more stereotypically female-best
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[1227.0s – 1228.0s]
based job and I don't drive.
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[1228.0s – 1231.0s]
So my October came to close as a bit of a certain.
▶ Play
[1231.0s – 1232.0s]
We'll come back to this.
▶ Play
[1232.0s – 1235.0s]
However, I'm dating a boy and have been for three or so months.
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[1235.0s – 1239.0s]
We've been friends through mutuals all through uni as we are from the same place.
▶ Play
[1239.0s – 1242.0s]
And but also went to the same city for uni.
▶ Play
[1242.0s – 1243.0s]
She was being English.
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[1243.0s – 1244.0s]
uni?
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[1244.0s – 1245.0s]
Yeah.
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[1245.0s – 1246.0s]
I was a colleague at university.
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[1246.0s – 1247.0s]
Are you an English bird?
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[1247.0s – 1248.0s]
Yay!
▶ Play
[1248.0s – 1251.0s]
It moved quite slowly as we've always heard it and so I've never really talked.
▶ Play
[1251.0s – 1253.0s]
It's too serious to see when he texted me.
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[1253.0s – 1254.0s]
It's coming from Northern Ireland.
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[1254.0s – 1255.0s]
Oh yeah, to those days, I think.
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[1255.0s – 1259.0s]
Until recently, I think I talked to Hint.
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[1259.0s – 1261.0s]
We both graduated and are now at home.
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[1261.0s – 1264.0s]
We've worked full-time so it's hard to match our schedules to find more than one a day
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[1264.0s – 1265.0s]
week to see each other.
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[1265.0s – 1269.0s]
We got on a lot however he's an amazing guy but I don't care for butterflies.
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[1270.0s – 1274.0s]
I think this is due to being friends before dating and I was moving so slowly.
▶ Play
[1274.0s – 1277.0s]
We haven't taken this the next stage yet if you get what I mean.
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[1277.0s – 1281.0s]
For now, we've not had an entire amount of life in our family homes and we haven't had the opportunity to.
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[1281.0s – 1285.0s]
What has made it hard for me to mentally take this seriously?
▶ Play
[1285.0s – 1287.0s]
It takes all the boxes by a one red flag.
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[1287.0s – 1292.0s]
He's never had a girlfriend where I was in a long time relation for four years when I was pretty young until my first year in uni.
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[1292.0s – 1298.0s]
I've never fully liked anyone since him and I only started to fully get out of it even though I was the only one who ended three years ago.
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[1298.0s – 1303.0s]
I'm ready to settle down again and worry if he's the right guy and am I just having commitment issues again?
▶ Play
[1303.0s – 1305.0s]
This is where the PT comes into things.
▶ Play
[1305.0s – 1308.0s]
I try and try to speak or more with my sister's friend.
▶ Play
[1308.0s – 1311.0s]
I've known her for years but not super personally.
▶ Play
[1311.0s – 1313.0s]
You've gotten really close from him training me.
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[1313.0s – 1317.0s]
I started with him when he had a girlfriend so we've just been completely photonic but gone super well.
▶ Play
[1317.0s – 1322.0s]
I did find myself thinking what a great guy, especially how he treated and spoke with a girlfriend.
▶ Play
[1322.0s – 1325.0s]
Never taught much other and put it back in my mind.
▶ Play
[1325.0s – 1329.0s]
It never opened up and I have been for a couple months and I felt a shift was starting more.
▶ Play
[1329.0s – 1331.0s]
I take it as just a friendly banter.
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[1331.0s – 1334.0s]
We sometimes chat about stuff non-gamerated and text but not a lot.
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[1334.0s – 1337.0s]
He usually drops you back from sessions as you don't drive at the moment.
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[1337.0s – 1343.0s]
We always have really good chats sometimes getting deep into the point where we're sitting inside my house, finishing them for a while after parking up.
▶ Play
[1343.0s – 1346.0s]
I could feel myself getting butterflies when I get into the house sometimes.
▶ Play
[1346.0s – 1349.0s]
Oh, I've no idea why I'm feeling like this as we're just pals.
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[1349.0s – 1352.0s]
I'm really bad at reading guys so I can never read in someone like me.
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[1352.0s – 1355.0s]
I've never no idea what to do as we're just friends and I love trying to win.
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[1355.0s – 1358.0s]
This is where the medium comes in when she said I need someone at work.
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[1358.0s – 1362.0s]
Stacking it's his work and his relationship ended in October when I began.
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[1362.0s – 1365.0s]
When I fell to begone flirting and his car has read detailing.
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[1365.0s – 1367.0s]
I don't know if this is a stretcher of its connected.
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[1367.0s – 1372.0s]
My head says keep dating the boy from you and he put half of me as like I wish my p2 would make a move.
▶ Play
[1372.0s – 1374.0s]
Wow!
▶ Play
[1374.0s – 1376.0s]
That she is me.
▶ Play
[1376.0s – 1378.0s]
Well, at least I'm a pick too was.
▶ Play
[1378.0s – 1379.0s]
Yeah, that's true.
▶ Play
[1379.0s – 1382.0s]
She is me with the making the psych of me.
▶ Play
[1382.0s – 1384.0s]
It could be any.
▶ Play
[1384.0s – 1385.0s]
I would be like that like it's a sign.
▶ Play
[1385.0s – 1387.0s]
Yeah, the most general thing ever.
▶ Play
[1387.0s – 1389.0s]
Well, I mean it's not fair.
▶ Play
[1389.0s – 1393.0s]
I suppose it is his job with his relationship ending in October, it doesn't really fit.
▶ Play
[1393.0s – 1395.0s]
I don't have it with him.
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[1395.0s – 1397.0s]
Oh God.
▶ Play
[1397.0s – 1403.0s]
Apparently there's a quote that says that like real love isn't the one that gives you butterflies.
▶ Play
[1403.0s – 1404.0s]
Really?
▶ Play
[1404.0s – 1406.0s]
Yeah, let me try finding them now.
▶ Play
[1406.0s – 1411.0s]
Quote about real love not giving.
▶ Play
[1411.0s – 1414.0s]
I always get my girl that's hurt so funny.
▶ Play
[1414.0s – 1419.0s]
Oh, love isn't having butterflies all the time.
▶ Play
[1419.0s – 1421.0s]
I think love is calm, love is comfortable.
▶ Play
[1421.0s – 1425.0s]
I got certain signs that you rest your lives and would mean more than a thousand words or anyone else.
▶ Play
[1425.0s – 1426.0s]
That's adorable.
▶ Play
[1426.0s – 1427.0s]
Isn't it?
▶ Play
[1427.0s – 1428.0s]
Aww.
▶ Play
[1428.0s – 1430.0s]
So maybe it is the fella from you honey.
▶ Play
[1430.0s – 1431.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1431.0s – 1433.0s]
Because she just calm around them.
▶ Play
[1433.0s – 1437.0s]
Yeah, I think it's just someone who feel like content to it.
▶ Play
[1437.0s – 1440.0s]
A gym man could just be like sexual tension or like.
▶ Play
[1440.0s – 1442.0s]
Yes, exactly.
▶ Play
[1442.0s – 1443.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1443.0s – 1447.0s]
So what did she do?
▶ Play
[1447.0s – 1451.0s]
What did she fall for the gym man after the gym?
▶ Play
[1451.0s – 1454.0s]
Maybe the young guy isn't doing it for you either.
▶ Play
[1454.0s – 1456.0s]
Maybe it was me or I'm really mean.
▶ Play
[1456.0s – 1458.0s]
Yeah, I don't think an S-Hide means.
▶ Play
[1458.0s – 1462.0s]
So when you have butterflies with it isn't someone like that you're going to be with forever.
▶ Play
[1462.0s – 1466.0s]
I wouldn't look at him as like the person who's like it goes 10 to the U.S.
▶ Play
[1466.0s – 1471.0s]
But I think I think I'll say, well if you really love the first person you wouldn't fall in love with another person.
▶ Play
[1471.0s – 1473.0s]
Yeah, you wouldn't fall in love with the second person.
▶ Play
[1473.0s – 1476.0s]
So you never really love the first if you fell in love with the second person.
▶ Play
[1476.0s – 1477.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1477.0s – 1480.0s]
I think that you probably have had your feelings for yourself.
▶ Play
[1480.0s – 1481.0s]
I don't think so.
▶ Play
[1481.0s – 1482.0s]
Gym man.
▶ Play
[1482.0s – 1483.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1483.0s – 1485.0s]
I don't think you can like someone on one side.
▶ Play
[1485.0s – 1486.0s]
Watch me.
▶ Play
[1486.0s – 1487.0s]
I don't think that's possible to like you.
▶ Play
[1487.0s – 1488.0s]
You said that like that.
▶ Play
[1488.0s – 1489.0s]
Or I was like, what?
▶ Play
[1489.0s – 1490.0s]
Maybe they'll just like.
▶ Play
[1490.0s – 1491.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1491.0s – 1493.0s]
At least just look at the other person.
▶ Play
[1493.0s – 1494.0s]
No, I'm messing.
▶ Play
[1494.0s – 1499.0s]
But I don't think you get 10 vibes unless they reciprocate.
▶ Play
[1499.0s – 1501.0s]
Yeah, I don't see that.
▶ Play
[1501.0s – 1502.0s]
Do you know?
▶ Play
[1502.0s – 1505.0s]
Obviously you can fancy someone on the camera.
▶ Play
[1505.0s – 1509.0s]
I think like someone you don't have to like you back.
▶ Play
[1509.0s – 1510.0s]
You get 5.
▶ Play
[1510.0s – 1511.0s]
Yeah, definitely.
▶ Play
[1511.0s – 1512.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1512.0s – 1516.0s]
Would you go if you had decisions to make, would you go with your hair or your hair?
▶ Play
[1516.0s – 1517.0s]
I'll fly off.
▶ Play
[1517.0s – 1518.0s]
Come on.
▶ Play
[1518.0s – 1519.0s]
What?
▶ Play
[1519.0s – 1520.0s]
Your hair?
▶ Play
[1520.0s – 1521.0s]
Her hair.
▶ Play
[1521.0s – 1522.0s]
I don't know.
▶ Play
[1522.0s – 1523.0s]
How about you?
▶ Play
[1523.0s – 1524.0s]
What did I say to her?
▶ Play
[1524.0s – 1525.0s]
I don't know.
▶ Play
[1525.0s – 1526.0s]
Make it.
▶ Play
[1526.0s – 1527.0s]
I go, we go in mixed probably.
▶ Play
[1527.0s – 1528.0s]
You listen to it.
▶ Play
[1528.0s – 1531.0s]
Your hair is good for some things and your hair is good for others.
▶ Play
[1531.0s – 1534.0s]
I don't think it's a choice between one or two of them.
▶ Play
[1534.0s – 1535.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1535.0s – 1537.0s]
They've definitely conflicted each other.
▶ Play
[1537.0s – 1538.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1538.0s – 1539.0s]
I don't know.
▶ Play
[1539.0s – 1544.0s]
I think you just like the unique guy as a person that I don't think you actually really like
▶ Play
[1544.0s – 1545.0s]
him.
▶ Play
[1545.0s – 1546.0s]
She's mean.
▶ Play
[1546.0s – 1547.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1547.0s – 1549.0s]
They haven't even had sex here.
▶ Play
[1549.0s – 1550.0s]
Yeah, true.
▶ Play
[1550.0s – 1554.4s]
And I feel like you used to obviously do stuff in the way and she was saying time and then
▶ Play
[1554.4s – 1555.4s]
match up to do with that.
▶ Play
[1555.4s – 1560.8s]
I feel like if you were really like someone you're seeing them for ages it would be kind
▶ Play
[1560.8s – 1563.0s]
of like yeah you probably would make time.
▶ Play
[1563.0s – 1564.0s]
Can you do both?
▶ Play
[1564.0s – 1567.0s]
I was gonna say, can you see the both?
▶ Play
[1567.0s – 1569.0s]
Yeah, if it's just casual date.
▶ Play
[1569.0s – 1572.0s]
And as long as no one's being led astray.
▶ Play
[1572.0s – 1576.0s]
Yeah, if you're not leading anyone on and like everything is honest and whatever else
▶ Play
[1576.0s – 1579.0s]
one problem, how would you make a move with P team?
▶ Play
[1579.0s – 1585.0s]
If she were her, if you don't know if he's fern back.
▶ Play
[1585.0s – 1589.0s]
She's the text where things non-germ related but not all the time.
▶ Play
[1589.0s – 1590.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1590.0s – 1593.0s]
So I was like, what am I going to lie down and see if he's ever something like that?
▶ Play
[1593.0s – 1594.0s]
Yeah.
▶ Play
[1594.0s – 1595.0s]
You will.
▶ Play
[1595.0s – 1596.0s]
Don't do that.
▶ Play
[1596.0s – 1601.0s]
I'm gonna send him like a healthy man but like we should go here.
▶ Play
[1601.0s – 1602.0s]
Like a healthy breakfast.
▶ Play
[1602.0s – 1603.0s]
Oh yeah, this looks lovely.
▶ Play
[1603.0s – 1604.0s]
Breakfast.
▶ Play
[1604.0s – 1605.0s]
I love a breakfast there.
▶ Play
[1605.0s – 1610.0s]
Yeah, say you could be like, should pop up here after trying like because that if he doesn't
▶ Play
[1610.0s – 1613.0s]
see us and it's just a friend like he'd still, he wouldn't find it weird I feel.
▶ Play
[1613.0s – 1615.0s]
But he might be thinking what you're thinking as well.
▶ Play
[1615.0s – 1616.0s]
Yeah, exactly.
▶ Play
[1616.0s – 1617.0s]
So can only win really.
▶ Play
[1617.0s – 1618.0s]
The breakfast one is a good one.
▶ Play
[1618.0s – 1620.0s]
Breakfast date with P team.
▶ Play
[1620.0s – 1626.8s]
Yeah, we should go here after yeah, I would you fancy on here or something yeah, but a protein pancakes
▶ Play
[1627.6s – 1629.1s]
Yeah
▶ Play
[1629.1s – 1631.1s]
With some sausage on
▶ Play
[1636.2s – 1639.4s]
Yeah, I think happy gods yeah, yeah
▶ Play
[1640.6s – 1644.2s]
Think play by air with you any man because you don't sound lovely. You don't sound like it
▶ Play
[1644.2s – 1649.2s]
The time and isn't working for you, but you also can't rush things that are gonna be good either
▶ Play
[1649.2s – 1652.4s]
So you don't mean yeah, you do have to take them slow too, so I
▶ Play
[1653.0s – 1656.6s]
Think if you can keep your options open and
▶ Play
[1657.3s – 1662.4s]
Yeah, see what way you're swayed more like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
▶ Play
[1663.0s – 1667.8s]
You'll know yourself. Yeah, so you can send your lemons into home I drink I go there now calm
▶ Play
[1667.8s – 1671.7s]
Which is our email address. It's all obviously anonymous and there's new episodes out of home
▶ Play
[1671.7s – 1674.6s]
We drink extra juice every one day and our main episodes are at Wednesday
▶ Play
[1674.8s – 1679.2s]
Thanks against primary response in episodes. We'll see you on Wednesday
▶ Play
[1682.4s – 1685.7s]
Subscribe to this podcast for free on the go light up
▶ Play
